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Your favorite -- or least favorite -- golf clichés


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I dislike anyone talking to my ball (except me of course). I don't care how good the shot looks - only I know if I hit it right or got away with it, and at impact I know how much it's going to draw or cut.

Was it Lanny Watkins who yelled at his caddy to "Take your mouth off my ball" ?

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Was it Lanny Watkins who yelled at his caddy to "Take your mouth off my ball" ?

Could have been Lanny; seems like in Rick Reilly's book

Who's Your Caddy? Tommy Aaron yelled that (or something very similar) at Reilly when Reilly (caddying for Aaron) was talking to Aaron's ball.
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One that confuses me is "that is a nice golf shot" . Damn, I was looking for a nice slap shot..... Maybe the way I play doesn't resemble golf at times

One I mutter to myself after I let up on a chip is "you pu**y" I don't scream it just a soft reminder to myself.

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I'm not even sure this is a cliche, but at least once every round I play with my dad he'll say, "There's no substitute for youth," after I hit a good shot, particularly if it's a good drive. I've recently started responding with, "Yeah, and there's no substitute for practice either."
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I don't hit the ball very long so I rely on hitting fairways and greens to score, so I always hear from my bomb and gouge buddies that I play condom golf, "it doesnt feel quite as good, but it won't get you in any trouble".

That's the first time I've heard that one. Very funny.

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When a fellow player judges your shot in mid air.
Like they say '' Ooo little short or A bit left
then it finished right where you want it.
If i wanted live commentary i would ask now shut the **** up!
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i hate "not much green to work with"... with the 60-degree wedges the pros can often stop the ball on a dime

plus, the cliché ends with a preposition, for crying out loud... i suppose i wouldn't be so put off by "not much green with which to work"
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i hate "not much green to work with"... with the 60-degree wedges the pros can often stop the ball on a dime

I think I'd have to slap anyone I was playing with that said I had "not much green with which to work" !!!! (joking - I'd probably laughing too hard)

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  • 2 years later...
One of my playing partners is pretty predictable, I know exactly when he going to whip out one of his cliches:
On putts left short... "Does the Mister play also?"
Any time the driver comes out.... "Time to let the big dog eat"
Any ball in a bunker... "Iwo Jima!!!"
When the wind is blowing... "When it's breezy,hit it easy"
After I make a great putt... "Drive for show, putt for dough"
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I like "they all look the same on the scorecard," in reference to strokes.

I dislike when one of my playing partners says "OK, up and down," when I've missed the green by a relatively large amount. I'm not quite looking for sympathy at that point.

MOst of them are ok and illustrate a piece of conventional wisdom about the game, but just by virtue of their being clichés, they become annoying. If we were to use a cliché every time the opportunity presented itself on the course, I think our tongues would be worn out. So whether I like them or not depends on timing them correctly and using them sparingly.
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It always makes me laugh when I play with Grant at my home course. Once when hitting his pitch on a short par 4 he flew the second tier and went off the back of the green. He was like "Go! Go...go,go. Nice now stay there" Or if he comes up short he says "Whoa! easy!" One time he hit a wedge shot over the green it skipped and started going up a hill behind the green he said "Go! Get up that hill!"

I HATE!!! The term "Overspin" the only shots in golf you can put overspin on are Phil's backwards lob and a hooking putt. You can put less spin on tee shots and chips to make them run out but you can't put "Overspin"!
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It always makes me laugh when I play with Grant at my home course. Once when hitting his pitch on a short par 4 he flew the second tier and went off the back of the green. He was like "Go! Go...go,go. Nice now stay there" Or if he comes up short he says "Whoa! easy!" One time he hit a wedge shot over the green it skipped and started going up a hill behind the green he said "Go! Get up that hill!"

You shut your mouth! If Arnie says he put overspin on the drive at Cherry Hills, then that exactly how it went down!

I would have said "never up, never in" but that one was submitted right off the hop. When I make a good shot out of trouble, my brother asks me, "hand wedge?". He refuses to look for balls in the rough - he openly drops one - when he's undoing the zipper on his golf bag, he announces, "Oh here it is, I good a good bounce."
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Most of my hated ones were already stated before somewhere. Ones I do like are 'chirping' after I hit a G.I.R. Unfortunately I get to use it as often as I would like. I also am fond of ..'in jail' and 'handcuffed' for troubles and I try to bring out stymied as much as possible as I don't hear it used too often (for trouble though, not your opponent's ball blocking yours). Often times I overuse 'what did I do wrong?' when I hit an excellent shot.
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On our annual guys trip one of my buddies kept leaving his putts right on the lip of the cup, just short. Another of the guys in the group explained that that was called a "South American"...one more revolution and it'd be good.

I used to have a boss whose best club was his "foot wedge".
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I like the "It's not how far, it's how may" variation of the "They all look the same on the scorecard" line.

My buddies and I overuse "That'll play" when someone bombs one 280 right down the middle, but said with a combination of sarcasm and the encouraging tone you might use when someone puts a drive not too far off the edge of the fairway and it looks like they'll still have a clean shot at the green.
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