Sign in to follow this  
Followers 0
looseleftie

Help with losing my temper

43 posts in this topic

Hello all, I have been slowly getting better at this game, and with this have my moments of utter rage!!! I'm a placid gentle guy, but competitive with myself.. I am in need of help/advice in order to curb this behaviour.. I get frustrated when having a couple of good holes then following it up with a couple of poor ones, over last month have broken driver, 5 wood , buggy and dinted another club or two... I am so desperate to improve , and understand that it is a long process.. Anyway any ideas on how to handle this appreciated, as I can't afford to keep replacing clubs
0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Sign up (or log in) today! It's free (and you won't see this ad anymore)!

Sign up (or log in) today! It's free (and you won't see this ad anymore)!

Hello all, I have been slowly getting better at this game, and with this have my moments of utter rage!!! I'm a placid gentle guy, but competitive with myself.. I am in need of help/advice in order to curb this behaviour.. I get frustrated when having a couple of good holes then following it up with a couple of poor ones, over last month have broken driver, 5 wood , buggy and dinted another club or two... I am so desperate to improve , and understand that it is a long process.. Anyway any ideas on how to handle this appreciated, as I can't afford to keep replacing clubs
0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Awards, Achievements, and Accolades

I was the exact same way. It has gotten better with time, but for me I had to just walk away from the game several times. Like me you probly want to be perfect at the game and that's just not realistic. Look how many times the pros hit there ball in OB, and they are the best in the world. I've also realized no one like playing with that guy. >(gets mad guy).
0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hello all, I have been slowly getting better at this game, and with this have my moments of utter rage!!! I'm a placid gentle guy, but competitive with myself.. I am in need of help/advice in order to curb this behaviour.. I get frustrated when having a couple of good holes then following it up with a couple of poor ones, over last month have broken driver, 5 wood , buggy and dinted another club or two... I am so desperate to improve , and understand that it is a long process.. Anyway any ideas on how to handle this appreciated, as I can't afford to keep replacing clubs
0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Awards, Achievements, and Accolades

Anger management classes?

I stopped getting mad when I came to the realization that I wasn't good enough to get pissed every time the game went south.  You'd be smart to come to that epiphany too.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Awards, Achievements, and Accolades

Just remind yourself, you're not good enough to get angry! Seriously, having unreasonable expectations only leads to frustration. The fact that you can have a decent hole, or even a few, does not mean you can expect to play an entire round at that level. As an aside, unless you prefer playing alone, I'm glad to see that you recognize the problem and are trying to get it under control. Most serious golfers don't want to play with someone that volatile! Case in point....we've got 5 guys that want to play in the happy little group that I manage this weekend. We only have room for 4. One is a club thrower, slammer, etc.... He won't be invited, unless someone else drops.

This- I play with 'temper challenged player". Well, a reformed temper challenged player. Okay, a NEARLY reformed temper challenge player. We were playing at an upper level public course, and he was having a bit of a struggle chipping from their rough. After a previous particularly nasty club throwing incident, I told him flat out: do it again, I'll walk off and I will NEVER play with you again. (he doesn't really play with anyone else) On this day, about the 11th hole he chunked one, then another, and then skinned one 40 yds over the green. A string of rather loud obscenities came out and he helicoptered his wedge at what seemed like 100 mph. Except it didn't head anywhere near where he was aiming (just like the rest of his game) and flew it over my head and lodged itself in the green that happened to be nearby. Fortunately, that green was unoccupied at the time. I said nothing, walked to the cart, took off my bag and started walking back to the clubhouse and left him with another of our guys. I could hear him complaining to our buddy about what a **** I was for walking away. But I also hear the other guy tell him- "You were warned, and YOU were the **** for that little tantrum". I guess he had time to think about it because a few minutes later he caught up to me and apologized profusely, and that he didn't mean it, etc.... I let him have it- Not only just throwing the club, but the rest of the behavior would have cost him an ejection if anyone from the staff had seen it, or someone reported it. I told him the same thing mentioned above- He wasn't good enough to get so angry. he should be laughing and having fun. Lord knows, we laugh at his game enough as it is. He was lucky it was a quiet corner of the course or HE would be the one going home. "Did you fix the green?" "No". "Then do it now and catch up to us (by now the other guy came up on us), and we'll finish this up. And you better have learned a lesson, because it isn't always just us around. He has since avoided the dreaded helicopters, and while his temper is a bit better he will still curse under his breath (quite loudly) and bang a club into the ground in frustration, he at least will try and laugh at the situation.

1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hello all, I have been slowly getting better at this game, and with this have my moments of utter rage!!! I'm a placid gentle guy, but competitive with myself.. I am in need of help/advice in order to curb this behaviour.. I get frustrated when having a couple of good holes then following it up with a couple of poor ones, over last month have broken driver, 5 wood , buggy and dinted another club or two... I am so desperate to improve , and understand that it is a long process.. Anyway any ideas on how to handle this appreciated, as I can't afford to keep replacing clubs
0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It's also a catch-22. If you get angry after a shot, you have a much smaller chance of hitting the next shot well, no matter how hard you practice. Thus, getting angry will actually stop you from getting better. If you really want to get better, you'll have to stop getting angry.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Awards, Achievements, and Accolades

Is this problem unique to the golf course, or do you have broader temper management issues?

If its just the golf course, then I'd suggest the following:

1. Take a deep breath.

2. Recognize that acting out will make others uncomfortable and embarrass yourself.

3. Recognize that there's more golf to play, and that you've had a good round in the past that included at least 1 terrible shot.

Bad shots aren't usually as disastrous as they seem.  Sitting 150 yards out on a par 4, I'm hoping to get a par, bogey at worst.  If I skull it or hit it fat, that sucks.  But I'm probably then only 40 yards from the hole, still have a chance to make 4, and still probably going to get a 5.  The difference is less than one stroke.  Of course its more when you go OB or into a hazard, but its not usually as bad as it seems.

When I put up a big number on a hole, knowing that I have a max of 7 (ESC) helps me not worry about it ruining my entire round.  I can put up a 7 and still shoot an acceptable score.

The problem is when you hit that one bad shot and can't move on from it so you hit another 7 bad shots.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Awards, Achievements, and Accolades

Between this thread and the meltdown one I'm surprised how many people flip out at this game.  I might get briefly annoyed if I punt an extremely simple looking shot but I certainly wouldn't hurl a club anywhere, they cost way too much.  lol

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have a temper, but I don't on the course.  On the course I will occasionally say, "Scotty, what are you doing?" to myself but don't toss clubs.  It is not worth getting angry.  Channel the anger to disappointment and then a desire to work to improve.  When I make a bad shot now, I will note to work on that situation to improve.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Awards, Achievements, and Accolades

I played with someone a couple weeks ago who tossed his driver after hitting a bad tee shot and it hit me in the legs.  It was just the shaft that hit me, so it didn't hurt or anything, but really?  He was very embarrassed and sorry, but some people just need to gain some perspective on life.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Awards, Achievements, and Accolades

most times a player that beats his club up is not taking his responsability.

your real golfing value is based on your poor shots, bless the good ones not the contrary.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Just remind yourself, you're not good enough to get angry! Seriously, having unreasonable expectations only leads to frustration.

and this

most times a player that beats his club up is not taking his responsability.

your real golfing value is based on your poor shots, bless the good ones not the contrary.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I used to have a temper but now I tell myself that I'm just not good enough to get mad at things that are my fault in the first place.  Why throw a club?  It certainly isn't the club's fault that I hit it somewhere other than where I intended.  It's better for my blood pressure and I believe that staying on an even keel helps my overall game.  I only hope to keep my bad shots in play most of the time to minimize those blow-up holes that can really screw up a round.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I used to curse loudly and toss clubs. I was 14. I recognized that I was an a** on the golf course and could not handle my temper. Swearing on the tennis court is bad enough. There is no place for bad behavior on the golf course. and certainly no place for abusing and throwing clubs. Yet, I could not stop myself. So, I did the honorable thing and gave up the game. I did not play at all during high school and most of college. Picked the game up again my junior year of college with some buddies. We were awful golfers. It was fun and we had fun every time out. Never tossed a club again.

If you can not get the temper under control, quit the game. Find another hobby. Golf is not for you if you can't enjoy it enough to get beyond the extreme of breaking clubs in anger.

Lately, I've noticed that I'm not always happy on the course. I get pissed off when I play badly. Never toss a club angry and never even curse out loud angry. I just get mad inside. I heard that Nancy Lopez had a motto -- play happy. So, I'm trying that. As of this week, I mark my balls (play mostly yellow balls) with a smily face. Very corny but it is my reminder that this is a game, one I play for fun, and that I wish to play happy regardless of well I play that day. After 18 holes, it works for me.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!


Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.


Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  
Followers 0



  • Want to join this community?

    We'd love to have you!

    Sign Up
  • 2017 TST Partners

    PING Golf
    Leupold Golf
    Snell Golf
    Talamore Golf Resort
    Lowest Score Wins
  • Posts

    • Thanks for your questions Swede. Regarding data for irons, if I understand what you are asking, the driver data can't really be correlated. Each iron would have it's own ideal launch conditions (launch angle, spin rate, ball speed) which would be based off of the player's swing speed.  The ball is designed to perform differently with longer clubs than shorter clubs, but if you can get dialed in with your driver, you'll be pretty close with the rest of the set also. The driver/shaft combo certainly affects the trajectory as well, and sometimes guys are playing the wrong ball and the wrong driver.  But what I see more often is a player who goes through the fitting process when purchasing a driver and irons, then they play whatever ball happens to be on sale.  It would be like using a different driver every time they played!  When trying to optimize trajectory, the ball is a good place to start.  Why buy a new driver when moving to a different ball can make the difference?  Sometimes the ball will help some, but to get where a player needs to be a different shaft or driver might be needed also. A lot of guys will go through a ball fitting whenever they get a new driver, which is not a bad idea.  Usually, if your previous driver fit properly and the new one fits properly, the ball will work just fine.  I usually suggest going through a ball fitting at least every-other-season just to make sure.  Sometimes our swings evolve...maybe your swing has improved or swing speed has increased, or it could be the other way, but it's good to make sure your stuff is correct.
    • To be clear, I have never talked about "the Titleist fitting." I don't know what they do to fit players. I'm simply talking about their recommendation to start at the green and work backward, but ultimately to consider all the shots you play in a round of golf, not just ones with the driver. I'm not talking about "here's two balls, try them out." I'm talking about the idea of "here are 30 kinds of golf ball. I eliminated a few because they felt horrible off my putter. I eliminated a few more for poor performance around the green. I eliminated some more for poor spin or flight with my irons. Of the six that I had left, these two performed well with my driver, so one of them is a good fit. If they have a super official "ball fitting" process, I wasn't talking about that, nor was I talking about a "here is a Pro V1 and a Pro V1x… hit some shots and pick one." So… I wish you hadn't devoted that much attention to the "Titleist method" in your post when that's not at all what I was asking. My point was… I'm skeptical that the Bridgestone method (only hitting a few balls, not doing much to account for consistent tee heights, ball position, players getting "warmed up" during the process, etc., only using the driver and disregarding the rest of the shots) is a great method, either.
    • 1. Golf is elitist. So far from true but I still get way too many people who chuckle at my interest in golf- as if I should be embarrassed that I enjoy such a snobby pastime.  2. Just swing your swing- and stop obsessing about getting a "pretty" swing. Sorry, but that's not sound advice - when I get rid of the key elements that are holding me back, yes, sure- then I'll make the most of what I've got. I'll swing that swing. Until then, not a chance, now that I have learned about the fundamentals . There's work to be done to make my future golf far more enjoyable and competitive.   3. Lessons are expensive. Nope- look hard enough and you can find quality swing guidance at a reasonable price.  I agree with lotsa others above but these resonate for me at my level of play right and interactions with people now. 
    • Let me address the things you mentioned and clarify a little bit, because I think there is some misconceptions on some of the aspects. There is perception that the Titleist fitting covers everything and the Bridgestone only addresses the driver.  One of the biggest issues I have with the Titleist method is it's not a real golf ball fitting.  They give you a Pro V1 2-ball pack and a Pro V1x 2-ball pack and basically tell you to hit some shots and see which one you like best. So regardless of swing speed, handicap, launch numbers or anything else, they are saying you can pick this ball or that ball.  The other models in Titleist's line are not included and competitor models are not included.  I know for a fact that there are many players who don't fit into either of those models, but Titleist doesn't offer other options or comparisons.  They claim the Pro V1 and Pro V1x have the best distance, best short game spin, best flight characteristics, softest feel and great durability.  I hate to tell everyone, but there is no such thing as a perfect golf ball.  The laws of physics and aerodynamics apply to Titleist just like everyone else.  A ball that is designed for high spin will not be as long as a lower spinning model and will tend to curve more, and a ball designed for distance will not have the same type of performance on approach shots and around the green. Titleist also doesn't offer any data that shows how those models stack-up for players, or how they perform compared to their ideal numbers.  Sure, people love the spin that they get around the green, but do they need that much spin?  Is all that spin hurting them in other areas?  High spin actually gets a lot of players in trouble and costs them more strokes than it saves them.  Similar to the Titleist method that has players go through the process on their own, after a Bridgestone tech works with a player and their driver and shows them the data, a 2-ball pack is given to the player to continue their testing on the course with irons and short game.  As far as the number of shots on the launch monitor is concerned, you are correct...typically 3 or 4 shots with each ball is recorded.  It's not a lot, but it's 6-8 more shots over a launch monitor than a Titleist fitting. Obviously it would be great to do more, but a fitting could easily stretch to an hour per player, so a typical 4-5 hour event we could only help a handful of players.  A normal fitting takes about 15 min, so that is 16-20 players per event.  At that number, the cost of each fitting was right around $40/player.  If an hour was spent with each player, it would cost almost $200/player which isn't cost effective. On the launch angle issue, what I said was there are many things that can affect the launch, including the ball.  I didn't say 2* wasn't possible and I didn't say in the example I posted that only 1/2* could be attributed to the ball.  Honestly, I can't say how much of that 2* is related to moving to a different model...even if other variables like tee height, ball position were removed, the difference in loft will vary from player-to-player due to different swing speeds, swing paths, angle of attack etc which is unique to everyone.  Plus depending on what model is used first and which model is recommended could have a smaller or larger affect than other combinations.  You could probably make the same case for every category if you wanted though, right?  You could say how much of the difference in spin was caused by the ball change and how much was the result of some other variable?  Spin is more important than the launch angle, so even if the l.a. stayed the same, the drop in spin would have made a nice difference by itself.  But we know the player was launching the ball too low with too much spin, a lower spinning/higher launching ball was recommended and the results were a more efficient trajectory and an increase in performance. I believe the key is to be able to show a player in black and white what their launch conditions are with their current ball and how it compares to their ideal numbers.  If you can't show a player the areas that need improvement, then how can you confidently recommend the best ball for them?  The truth is, most people are playing the wrong ball, so it's not that hard to make an improvement, and honestly there are probably a handful of different makes/models that would be better.    
    • 1-5. Putting matters most. Uh huh. What are the chances I gain 2 strokes because I (or just about any golfer) 4 putted? It's happened. Rarely. What are the chances I (or just about any golfer) hit an errant tee shot and blow 2 strokes? 40% every tee shot for me. 
  • TST Blog Entries

  • Blog Entries

  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Dragondrake
      Dragondrake
      (57 years old)
    2. Mistabigevil
      Mistabigevil
      (36 years old)
    3. Taylor56
      Taylor56
      (61 years old)
  • Get Great Gear with Amazon