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I am calling you out as a non-golfer IF.........................

BuckeyeNut

By BuckeyeNut,
in Golf Talk

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Valleygolfer Super Member

Valleygolfer

One of those two might take a bit longer......

.....the golf course could be backed up.

True. I guess you could knock sex down to 15 seconds...

You are a non golfer if the butt of your putt extends past your belt line....

You are a non golfer if you don't seethe with anger after duffing any shot...

"My ball is on top of a rock in the hazard, do I get some sort of relief?"

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Phil McGleno
Phil McGleno

You are making a real ass of yourself lately. You are a non-golfer if you can not treat fellow golfers with the respect due to them, regardless of their score or the CR of the course on which they sh

David in FL
David in FL

Not me! A golf ball with a demonstrated affinity for the water has a horrible character flaw that cannot be changed.  It should never be trusted again!

JonMA1
JonMA1

If you only go out when it's sunny and in the 70's.

Web Junky Established Member

Web Junky

What on earth, in ur mind,  is wrong with a ball retriever?  Man, i can collect a dozen beauties from the pond, if i have time.  Usually the Marshall is pushing too hard to keep moving to permit  me to go fishing.

Well, i totally DISAGREE with U.

And i always carry a big UMBRELLA. That 'wrong' too?

Quote:

Originally Posted by joekelly

What on earth, in ur mind,  is wrong with a ball retriever?  Man, i can collect a dozen beauties from the pond, if i have time.  Usually the Marshall is pushing too hard to keep moving to permit  me to go fishing.

Well, i totally DISAGREE with U.

And i always carry a big UMBRELLA. That 'wrong' too?

I'm sorry to say . .but yes, the big umbrella puts you further in the wrong.  If you use it to keep the sun off you . . .that's at least 3 times as bad.

You are not a real golfer if you have to share my umbrella when it rains!

Yup, umbrella is part of the bag. The handle serves as a station for head covers when skies are dry, and, shucks, if it's not a great tool in a sudden soaker! Besides, I always use one of the umbrellas I got from my dad when he went to the big course in heaven. :roll:

You are not a real golfer if you yell and scream when you make a birdie/eagle or chip in/hole out from a bunker/fairway.

A high five is OK for something exceptional but no need for anything vocal that players not in your group will hear.

Don't start me on "eagles" on 400 yard par 5s or 240 yard par 4s.

Agreed.

Us high handicappers sometimes need to take the shoes off to count all the strokes. Real golfers, yes. Real bad golfer, yeah.

Don't do it on the green however. I try to do the advanced math on the way to the next tee.

IMO, the thread should have been titled, "You're Not A Golfer if . . . "

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Web Junky Established Member

Web Junky

Quote:

Originally Posted by colin007

not so serious - if you putt with your glove on.  ugh.  looks doofish.

Jack Nicklaus keeps his glove on.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Missouri Swede

Jack Nicklaus keeps his glove on.

i know.  and he looks like a doof.  empirically.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Missouri Swede

Jack Nicklaus keeps his glove on.

He gets a pass, he's old.  Poor circulation.

Still looks like a doof though.

Reported! :bugout::naughty:

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GolfLug Incredible Member

GolfLug

....IF you can't multi-quote

Hmm, that allegation belongs to ' you are a non-TSTer if..' thread.

Just kidding. Can and do when I intend to. But I get your point. My bad.

Vishal S.

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Moppy Dedicated Member

Moppy

The range is five minutes away and five dollars for fifty balls. There are no courses nearby where you can get a tee  time at the drop of a hat. I will stop pounding 'em at the range when I can consistently drive without slicing and get a consistent solid impact with my irons. I guess when I can do those things, I will be a real golfer.

Also, I am not big on playing alone. I used to like it, but I don't anymore. Another reason I am not a real golfer.

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Lihu Incredible Member

Lihu

The range is five minutes away and five dollars for fifty balls. There are no courses nearby where you can get a tee  time at the drop of a hat. I will stop pounding 'em at the range when I can consistently drive without slicing and get a consistent solid impact with my irons. I guess when I can do those things, I will be a real golfer. Also, I am not big on playing alone. I used to like it, but I don't anymore. Another reason I am not a real golfer.

Those are good goals. I spent a lot more time on the range, and now getting on the course is fun. It really used to be a chore getting balls just getting balls to the green. As for playing alone, I am still trying to find a tee time where I can go out without crowds of people, that is, short of going out there at 4:00am. I enjoy the company, but would like to resume some vlogs and swing videos, and just can't seem to get the opportunity.

:ping:  :tmade:  :callaway:   :gamegolf:  :titleist:

TM White Smoke Big Fontana; Pro-V1
TM Rac 60 TT WS, MD2 56
Ping i20 irons U-4, CFS300
Callaway XR16 9 degree Fujikura Speeder 565 S
Callaway XR16 3W 15 degree Fujikura Speeder 565 S, X2Hot Pro 20 degrees S

"I'm hitting the woods just great, but I'm having a terrible time getting out of them." ~Harry Toscano

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Hardballs Great Member

Hardballs

Winter?   Golf?   The two don't go together in Michigan.   I do play on a simulator during the winter but today the wind chill is about 30 degrees and rain.    Not a day to golf.

They don't really go together well in the uk but I can't just stop playing for 4 months because the weather is awful! I need my fix! I'll not be able to play after work now because daylight is shorter, so I can only play on a Saturday and I can tell you I'll be there every Saturday regardless of weather! Unless it's snowing! Which I actually tried once!

Gaz Lee

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Hardballs Great Member

Hardballs

That sounds pretty cool, actually. BTW, I don't use a glove. I have an obscure and really hard to find size, so the glove makers don't think I should golf. ;-)

Well I've given up on umbrellas! They're a bloody nuisance in the wind, so I might waterproof bag, full goretex suit inc hat! (Galvin green, it's awesome) 3 gloves plus a winter pair and I keep the towel dry in the hood of the bag! We just have to accept winter golf in the uk. There's no thing as bad weather, just bad clothing!

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Gaz Lee

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Lihu Incredible Member

Lihu

Well I've given up on umbrellas! They're a bloody nuisance in the wind, so I might waterproof bag, full goretex suit inc hat! (Galvin green, it's awesome) 3 gloves plus a winter pair and I keep the towel dry in the hood of the bag! We just have to accept winter golf in the uk. There's no thing as bad weather, just bad clothing!

That actually sounds fun. Plus, we need the rain in So. Cal.

:ping:  :tmade:  :callaway:   :gamegolf:  :titleist:

TM White Smoke Big Fontana; Pro-V1
TM Rac 60 TT WS, MD2 56
Ping i20 irons U-4, CFS300
Callaway XR16 9 degree Fujikura Speeder 565 S
Callaway XR16 3W 15 degree Fujikura Speeder 565 S, X2Hot Pro 20 degrees S

"I'm hitting the woods just great, but I'm having a terrible time getting out of them." ~Harry Toscano

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David in FL Incredible Member

David in FL

The range is five minutes away and five dollars for fifty balls. There are no courses nearby where you can get a tee  time at the drop of a hat. I will stop pounding 'em at the range when I can consistently drive without slicing and get a consistent solid impact with my irons. I guess when I can do those things, I will be a real golfer. Also, I am not big on playing alone. I used to like it, but I don't anymore. Another reason I am not a real golfer.

If all golfers waited to get to that point, we'd have 80% fewer golfers playing the game..... ;-)

In David's bag....

Driver: Titleist 910 D-3;  9.5* Diamana Kai'li
3-Wood: Titleist 910F;  15* Diamana Kai'li
Hybrids: Titleist 910H 19* and 21* Diamana Kai'li
Irons: Titleist 695cb 5-Pw
Wedges: Scratch 51-11 TNC grind, Vokey SM-5's;  56-14 F grind and 60-11 K grind
Putter: Scotty Cameron Kombi S
Ball: ProV1

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  • 2 weeks later...
blackizzz Member

blackizzz

You're a non-golfer if you play in shorts and high sport socks...

You're a non-golfer if you ease your lie when no one's looking (cheat)

You're a non-golfer if you're not fuming with anger when someone says "great shot" when the ball lands waaaaaaay off your target/in hazards.

In the bag:

Driver: Nike Vapor Flex 440 8.5° (Mitsubishi Diamana S+ LE) S-flex

Woods: Nike Vapor Fly 15° (Mitsubishi Diamana S+ LE) S-flex : Vapor Fly 19° (Mitsubishi Diamana S+ LE) S-flex

Irons: Callaway Apex MB 4-PW S-Flex

Wedges: Callaway Mack Daddy 2 52° : Jaws X 56°

Putter: Odyssey White Ice 3

Ball: Nike RZN Black

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nick1998bunker Great Member

nick1998bunker

Maybe we could break it down into degrees or class of a golfer [quote name="blackizzz" url="/t/77399/i-am-calling-you-out-as-a-non-golfer-if/200_100#post_1065158"]You're a non-golfer if you play in shorts and high sport socks... You're a non-golfer if you ease your lie when no one's looking (cheat) You're a non-golfer if you're not fuming with anger when someone says "great shot" when the ball lands waaaaaaay off your target/in hazards. [/quote] Your a non golfer if "your not fuming with anger...when the ball lands waaaaaaay off your target/in hazards" regardless if someone yells good shot or not
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blackizzz Member

blackizzz

Maybe we could break it down into degrees or class of a golfer

Your a non golfer if "your not fuming with anger...when the ball lands waaaaaaay off your target/in hazards" regardless if someone yells good shot or not

That is true :) But it doesn't really help ;)

In the bag:

Driver: Nike Vapor Flex 440 8.5° (Mitsubishi Diamana S+ LE) S-flex

Woods: Nike Vapor Fly 15° (Mitsubishi Diamana S+ LE) S-flex : Vapor Fly 19° (Mitsubishi Diamana S+ LE) S-flex

Irons: Callaway Apex MB 4-PW S-Flex

Wedges: Callaway Mack Daddy 2 52° : Jaws X 56°

Putter: Odyssey White Ice 3

Ball: Nike RZN Black

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rehmwa Super Member

rehmwa

You're a non-golfer if you're not fuming with anger when "whatever"

Seems like golf is a crappy hobby for "golfers" in your definition

Bill - 

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blackizzz Member

blackizzz

Seems like golf is a crappy hobby for "golfers" in your definition

Definitely not, it is however a frustrating one, and I think most people can relate to that. Nothing negative about it, it's a part of the games charm, the ups and downs... If you've never had that experience though...

In the bag:

Driver: Nike Vapor Flex 440 8.5° (Mitsubishi Diamana S+ LE) S-flex

Woods: Nike Vapor Fly 15° (Mitsubishi Diamana S+ LE) S-flex : Vapor Fly 19° (Mitsubishi Diamana S+ LE) S-flex

Irons: Callaway Apex MB 4-PW S-Flex

Wedges: Callaway Mack Daddy 2 52° : Jaws X 56°

Putter: Odyssey White Ice 3

Ball: Nike RZN Black

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mcanadiens Super Member

mcanadiens

Seems like golf is a crappy hobby for "golfers" in your definition

You sweet-tempered gents will never get it. Some of us wake up angry and go to bed angry. If we weren't getting angry on the golf course, we'd be getting angry somewhere else.

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