Bad Manners or Just Rude?

[vangator]

Its not uncommon as a courtesy around here. Its a gift regifted. That way nothing catches the eye, and you get that nice broad green to yourself sorta. I was thinking of playing down in Florida in Feb. The green fees are 175. For that much money it would be nice to play with someone that appreciates a beautiful course and knows how to make the day pleasant for others.

If someone were to want me to mark for any reason I would. I typically mark to clean my ball anyway, but I usually replace it immediately if its not interfering. Easier for me and my eyesight to line up a ball rather than a mark. I live in Florida. $175 in green fees? Where are you playing? That's out of my range. Back in Jan 1992 (before the US Open that year), I didn't play Pebble Beach because it was $125. Just couldn't do it. I made well into the 6 figures, but still couldn't do it. It was a blustery day, so that made it easier.

[trickyputt]

[quote name="trickyputt" url="/t/78885/bad-manners-or-just-rude/72#post_1090823"] Its not uncommon as a courtesy around here. Its a gift regifted. That way nothing catches the eye, and you get that nice broad green to yourself sorta. I was thinking of playing down in Florida in Feb. The green fees are 175. For that much money it would be nice to play with someone that appreciates a beautiful course and knows how to make the day pleasant for others.

If someone were to want me to mark for any reason I would. I typically mark to clean my ball anyway, but I usually replace it immediately if its not interfering. Easier for me and my eyesight to line up a ball rather than a mark. I live in Florida. $175 in green fees? Where are you playing? That's out of my range. Back in Jan 1992 (before the US Open that year), I didn't play Pebble Beach because it was $125. Just couldn't do it. I made well into the 6 figures, but still couldn't do it. It was a blustery day, so that made it easier.[/quote] It is a corporate resort/meeting thing. They sent me a swanky brochure. I will get back with the name. Lotsa holes on the ocean. 6 or more. Probably gulf side. Eastmann usually gets facilities around tampa or south.

[4Aces]

I've played a lot of customer golf, boss golf (not much different) and rounds with friends at my club. I've given 10 foot putts for nine on many occasion, I can't remember giving one for birdie. If there are groups backing up and you are on your way to a 115, I'm conceding putts to you all the time. Probably not the first putt, but lag it up there and I will be waiting to tap it back to you. I want you to have a nice day, see my course, enjoy a nice meal, and most of all enjoy group's company. So if you have an important 20 foot putt, I'm going to cheer for you while knocking those 10 foot quadruple bogey putts away.

Now if we are playing a member-guest we're playing everything to the hole. But just a social round? Casual.

[rehmwa]

like I said, if your reply was a facetious response to the OP, then I sort of get it.  In that light, though, it seemed to be a little mean-spirited.

I'm ok with that, though it was intended to be more illuminative and give equal time than just a slam, or a blindly facetious submittal - I figured it would be a bit more understandable than just a pithy "hey, you have no idea of what's in that guy's mind so stop being a baby" kind of response.

The 'mean-spirited' thing you see was just to give the OP an equivalent response to his assessment of the other guy (and I think my "boss's" characterization of the OP was hugely kinder than the reverse)

(we have so many whiny and self righteous based threads here that indicate many can't seem to put themselves in the shoes of others, or even assume good intentions on those that mildly annoy them - I attribute it to whatever stereotype of golfers that might fit my mood at any time.  though i suspect it's just a few decent people venting off steam.  Still instead of complaining on the internet to strangers, I'd recommend politely bringing it up during the round and making friends.  Life is too short to carry nonsense around in one's head)

Still very surprised that I have to spell it out.  thanks for the chance to - it's an interesting exchange

[tqcishark]

I'm ok with that, though it was intended to be more illuminative and give equal time than just a slam, or a blindly facetious submittal - I figured it would be a bit more understandable than just a pithy "hey, you have no idea of what's in that guy's mind so stop being a baby" kind of response.

The 'mean-spirited' thing you see was just to give the OP an equivalent response to his assessment of the other guy (and I think my "boss's" characterization of the OP was hugely kinder than the reverse)

(we have so many whiny and self righteous based threads here that indicate many can't seem to put themselves in the shoes of others, or even assume good intentions on those that mildly annoy them - I attribute it to whatever stereotype of golfers that might fit my mood at any time.  though i suspect it's just a few decent people venting off steam.  Still instead of complaining on the internet to strangers, I'd recommend politely bringing it up during the round and making friends.  Life is too short to carry nonsense around in one's head)

Still very surprised that I have to spell it out.  thanks for the chance to - it's an interesting exchange

Maybe when you justify recording the wrong score you can use an emoticon ;-)

[ay33660]

Many thanks to those of you who offered up some thoughts on the As----- boss and I can assure you all I take no offense to your opinions or thoughts just the opposite I welcome them all.  I had a chance to share a few beers with my friend over the holiday.  Of course I brought up the playing habits of the AHB.  My friend said he does that to everyone he plays with for the first few months until he establishes that he is the better golfer.  My friend said his boss truly believes he's the center of the universe with nothing above or equal to him, and his logic extends in aces to the golf course.  AHB knows that giving putts to one but not all the players will throw most off their game and counts on it to give him an advantage.  Armed with this new intel, I think spring golf will be much more fun.  I think I'll start giving myself some 10 and 15 footers, and I can feel my hay fever already beginning to act up on the tees, you know how hard a sneeze is to stop.  Since I'm a senior and he's just now 40 I may start hitting half way between the white and the yellow tees.  I'm willing to be as small as this narcissistic assh---e wants to be, hell I don't work for the jerk.

My friend did say the boss was even worst at work, so I asked why work for the jerk.  Of course he said because the money was great.

Hell, it can't be that great.

Thanks again guys, I'll let you know how the spring golf goes

THE HOOK 840

Great to hear your response Hook840.

I still don't know why "AHB knows that giving putts to one but not all the players will throw most off their game and counts on it to give him an advantage." If you guys were playing a match then I could understand that it would throw someone off their game but I don't get the sense that you guys were playing a match. If I was playing in the three-sum and I only knew one of the two other guys and they gave each other their putts it wouldn't bother me one bit.

If the boss really bothers you that much then just don't golf with him. Life is too short for that kind of aggravation.

Seems to me that getting back at the boss would offer up the possibility that it would have a negative impact on your friend.

[rehmwa]

Maybe when you justify recording the wrong score you can use an emoticon ;-)

If I'm taking a Devil's Advocate position for anyone else or a hypothetical character even, I can do that.  For the more literal crowd here.....they know who they are....(or maybe they DON'T know who they are......)

blue skies

[tqcishark]

If I'm taking a Devil's Advocate position for anyone else or a hypothetical character even, I can do that.  For the more literal crowd here.....they know who they are....(or maybe they DON'T know who they are......)

blue skies

hypothetically if we all started taking our gimmes at the tee box we could keep it even lighter, shoot par AND avoid the aggravation of that bloody mary chugging SOB.

[Yukari]

My kind of golfers are here too.  Those guys love golf, respect the rules, but are capable of finding every bit of trouble an easy course offers.

Did someone call me? LOL As in life, there are a wide variety of people. Some are just too sensitive than others. It appears the OP is a bit sensitive person. Personally, I just like getting out and playing golf. I don't care who I get paired with as long as they are not rude.

[thehook840]

Guys, am I the only one who sees what's going on here?  The boss is a first class BULLY.  It lives on it, its a drug he has to have daily or his life isn't complete.  As long as everyone gives in he wins and maintains his status.  I never have and never will tolerate a bully in my life be it for sport or for keeps.  Jesus Christ you guys grow a fu--ing pair and stand up for what's right.  This isn't about the boss playing golf, its about his need to degrade and own people.  I'll have none of it, not now, not ever.

THANKS

THE HOOK 840

[rehmwa]

hypothetically if we all started taking our gimmes at the tee box we could keep it even lighter, shoot par AND avoid the aggravation of that bloody mary chugging SOB.

I had a round like that last year.  Rained on 14 of the holes and it was the toughest, most penal course I ever played (I can't wait to play it again - sick).

I'd have been better off just giving the pro shop $100, going straight to the woods and tossed a dozen balls in a ravine, and then spent the next 5 hours at the bar watching sports on TV.

NOT having that score would have helped me immensely.

[ay33660]

Guys, am I the only one who sees what's going on here?  The boss is a first class BULLY.  It lives on it, its a drug he has to have daily or his life isn't complete.  As long as everyone gives in he wins and maintains his status.  I never have and never will tolerate a bully in my life be it for sport or for keeps.  Jesus Christ you guys grow a fu--ing pair and stand up for what's right.  This isn't about the boss playing golf, its about his need to degrade and own people.  I'll have none of it, not now, not ever.

THANKS

THE HOOK 840

Wow what has your best friend's boss really done to YOU? Were you guys playing for money????? You haven't stated so in any of your previous posts.

Professionally I consult with a lot of very successful business owners and I would say at least 75% of them would fall into our society's definition of being a bully.

So you have made it your personal goal to teach your best friend's boss a lesson or two. To "stand up" to him.

So other than golf what is your relationship with your friend's boss? Has he screwed you in a business deal???????

How would you feel if you do manage to teach your best friend's boss a lesson and your friend losses his job or at least causes stress with his boss? As you have stated your best friend continues to work for him because he is paid more than he would paid else where.

Highly doubtful that anything you do will change the boss's nature.

This is not about growing a pair as you say but fighting the right battle.

If you don't like the guy then don't golf with him.

If it is your goal to teach every bully a lesson then good luck to you.

Seems like there is more to this than just golf.

[Lihu]

Guys, am I the only one who sees what's going on here?  The boss is a first class BULLY.  It lives on it, its a drug he has to have daily or his life isn't complete.  As long as everyone gives in he wins and maintains his status.  I never have and never will tolerate a bully in my life be it for sport or for keeps.  Jesus Christ you guys grow a fu--ing pair and stand up for what's right.  This isn't about the boss playing golf, its about his need to degrade and own people.  I'll have none of it, not now, not ever. THANKS THE HOOK 840

I don't like bully's either, but I'm also pretty sure this is a fight you can't easily win. Just play better golf than him in the spring.

[Abu3baid]

Guys, am I the only one who sees what's going on here?  The boss is a first class BULLY.  It lives on it, its a drug he has to have daily or his life isn't complete.  As long as everyone gives in he wins and maintains his status.  I never have and never will tolerate a bully in my life be it for sport or for keeps.  Jesus Christ you guys grow a fu--ing pair and stand up for what's right.  This isn't about the boss playing golf, its about his need to degrade and own people.  I'll have none of it, not now, not ever.

THANKS

THE HOOK 840

What does this have anything to do with "growing a pair"?

You still have not shown me where the boss was degrading people exactly?  Just because he didn't give you a 10 foot gimmie and he gave it to himself and your friend?

I agree with others, there is something more going on here.. Tell us exactly how he degraded you?  Please don't say because he announced in the bar that you scored what you did because you teed in front of the tees!

[CarlSpackler]

I'm so sick of hearing about bullies. There is real bullying and there is mamby pamby made up bullying. [/rant] We really don't know what the deal wS here and have only heard one side of the story. No offense I tended to the OP, but maybe (not saying this happened) the boss was tired of waiting of him taking 5 minutes to read the putt etc. Maybe they were backing up the course and the boss was trying to move things along. Who knows. Wasn't there. Don't know and won't pretend to know. Just offering up some other thoughts on this.

[AmazingWhacker]

Guys, am I the only one who sees what's going on here?  The boss is a first class BULLY.  It lives on it, its a drug he has to have daily or his life isn't complete.  As long as everyone gives in he wins and maintains his status.  I never have and never will tolerate a bully in my life be it for sport or for keeps.  Jesus Christ you guys grow a fu--ing pair and stand up for what's right.  This isn't about the boss playing golf, its about his need to degrade and own people.  I'll have none of it, not now, not ever.

THANKS

THE HOOK 840

That seems excessive - I re-read your OP just to be sure . .he putted out of turn and made a (seemingly) joking comment about you teeing it up ahead of the markers.  That makes him a bully with a need to degrade and 'own' people?

I'm liking this guy more and more.  He showed remarkable restraint by not beating you silly for acting like a petulant little jerk when he invited you to play golf at his course and then further invited you for drinks after.  SOME people golf for fun - they're not playing on the same imaginary tour as you are.  They probably thought they were just joking about teeing it forward - they didn't realize you could get an imaginary DQ and blow your whole imaginary season.

And also - if somebody putting out of turn ruins your whole round you should work on your mental game.  Tiger's Dad made him hit putts for hours in the parking lots of strip clubs at night.  Obviously, in hindsight, that turned out to be a mistake - but you get the idea.

[Abu3baid]

That seems excessive - I re-read your OP just to be sure . .he putted out of turn and made a (seemingly) joking comment about you teeing it up ahead of the markers.  That makes him a bully with a need to degrade and 'own' people?   I'm liking this guy more and more.  He showed remarkable restraint by not beating you silly for acting like a petulant little jerk when he invited you to play golf at his course and then further invited you for drinks after.  SOME people golf for fun - they're not playing on the same imaginary tour as you are.  They probably thought they were just joking about teeing it forward - they didn't realize you could get an imaginary DQ and blow your whole imaginary season.   And also - if somebody putting out of turn ruins your whole round you should work on your mental game.  Tiger's Dad made him hit putts for hours in the parking lots of strip clubs at night.  Obviously, in hindsight, that turned out to be a mistake - but you get the idea.

I'm still laughing. That was so well played! Nice job

[pw8iron]

What would you all do if faced with this clown on the course?

Tell your friend what you are telling us, and advise him that you would appreciate it if you never played with his boss ever again.  The conflict is irrelevant as to who is right and who is wrong, but he rubs you the wrong way, and you are obviously doing things to rub him the wrong way.  Who is right?  Difference of opinion IMHO.  It's obviously bugging you to post it here, so the solution is to never play golf with the man again.

FWIW, I had a similar situation with a co-worker, where he invited a couple of friends and we played 18 together.  A couple of times during the round my co-workers friend didn't like the fact that I knocked his 1 foot gimme back to him on the green, after it took him 8 strokes to get to that point (he was holding up the group at this point, which is why I gave him the "gimme").  He even asked me not to do that and to let him putt out, to which I responded, "ok."  His buddy was a slow golfer IMHO, and didn't understand that once you get to a certain point of strokes on a hole, you pick up to keep up with the group.  I would do the same if I was having a bad hole.

After the round was over we parted ways, and the next time I spoke with my co-worker how I felt about his buddy, and asked that we never play a round of golf again together, for the reasons I mentioned above.  He was fine with it and we haven't played since.  Some people are just not meant to be on the golf course in the same group at the same time.  That's life.