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Things not to say to a playing partner. . .


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The only thing worse than playing with a bunch of Dicks is playing with a bunch of old Dicks.

Hmmm, I resemble that remark...being old that is and probably most definitely a Dick. The more crap I have to put up with out of young guys who think they are the "stuff"...the more of one I become.

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I took the topic, " Things not to say to a playing partner ",  a little differently, like... Who was that I saw your wife out with last night? -or- Nice putt, Alice (on a putt tha

If you're playing with Dick and the round lasts longer than 4 hours... Call a doctor. ;)

"You gonna hit that sumbitch, or just stand there and look at it?" (slow play) "Does your husband golf also?" (for a putt left short) "Does that driver come in a men's model too?" (for a

As far as slow play is concerned, I have played in lots of tournaments where slow play is definitely an issue.  I have used this phrase with my playing partners on more than once occasion.  We will use my current age as point of reference for the remark.

"Damn...when we started this round, I was 68 years old.  I am about to turn 70....can't we play a little faster?"

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Slow Play - Played this Sunday with my sister, her boyfriend, and my wife.

We played a very decent pace (not outstanding, but 1:45 front and same back).  Even so, we had a couple doubles behind us waiting a lot, and we were not catching up to the group over a hole ahead of us.  I can't speak to why the two doubles didn't combine to a 4some - that's another good option IMHO.

I ended up sending the 1st little group behind us through at the #10 tee, and the next one on the fairway on #11 while one of the girls was looking for a ball.

The sister's boyfriend was a bit amazed on both occasions and didn't understand why.  "we're not playing slow at all".  agreed, but still.

We still finished at the noted pace well under 4 hours, including stopping for beer and Bloodies at the turn.  And both pairs were long gone by the tee at 13.  We only waited briefly on the 12th hole for less than a minute and then never again.

((((I suspect they were long gone also in appreciation of our courtesy too))))

Lesson is that even if you play a respectable pace, it's still an option to let faster players through.  we were impacted pretty much zero, and those people had a better time, and we had no one breathing up our necks.  They were NOT pushing us at all, but I'm a bit over aware of people standing patiently and waiting while one my group is tanking a couple shots in a row.  (I've been that guy too often just watching and waiting and trying not to be too obvious about it).

Very applicable on a day where it's NOT too crowded.

This is the day after the wife and I had to skip a hole due to a very slow 4 some being oblivious to us behind them.  We went and picked up #3 between 17 and 18.

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When they come up short on a putt that's on-line say; nice putt Alice....

Or as we say: "You had the line, but noooo spine!"

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This thread is awesome. :-$

Or as we say: "You had the line, but noooo spine!"

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mac62

"You gonna hit that sumbitch, or just stand there and look at it?" (slow play)

"Does your husband golf also?" (for a putt left short)

"Does that driver come in a men's model too?" (for a short drive)

"Working on your dirt game today?" (when they hit into a desert area)

"Taxi!!!!" (when they hit a putt past the hole)

"Nice shirt, were the batteries included?" (when they show up in a loud-colored shirt)

(As a group:) "Shoooooorrrrrrrt shortshortshortshort!!!" (on a putt left short)

"Way to mow the lawn!" (for a worm burner)

"That one's gonna burn up on re-entry!" (for a pop-up driver)

"Daaaay-O!" (for a big 'banana ball' slice)

Dude, you sound like a trip to play with.  My gf's aunt is out in AZ and if I ever make it out there, I would totally dig playing a round with you. :beer:

I definitely say "nice ball" too soon on occasion.  Never had anyone take it poorly but I do feel like a dick when it starts peeling off right or come up short in a bunker.

Personally, I don't care what anyone says, EXCEPT anything along the lines of "you've got a good round going", "you're only X over, or you're X under", "if you just par out, you'll shoot X", or "just put the same swing on it you did last hole".

I know where I am.  I know you know where I am.  I don't need to hear that you know where am I because then I'll f*ing think about it.  Whenever I hear any of the above I hit a shitty shot.  Damn near 100% of the time.

The only time I do that with my friends is when we have a little something on the line and I want to put some pressure on him.  Ofc., he does it to me, too, so I don't feel bad about it at all.  Sharking is wrong, but hey, what's good for the goose is good for the gander.

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This thread is awesome.

Dude, you sound like a trip to play with.  My gf's aunt is out in AZ and if I ever make it out there, I would totally dig playing a round with you.

The only time I do that with my friends is when we have a little something on the line and I want to put some pressure on him.  Ofc., he does it to me, too, so I don't feel bad about it at all.  Sharking is wrong, but hey, what's good for the goose is good for the gander.


Totally different situation, and totally cool with that.  If you're not trying to game the shit out of your buddies, you ain't trying.

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Out with a friend the other day, and he had a ~30 foot putt on 18.  I pulled a Happy Gilmore and yelled "Jackass" right as he was about to hit it, he turned around to glare at me, and I just stood there watching his ball go in while he was busy giving me the death stare.

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Out with a friend the other day, and he had a ~30 foot putt on 18.  I pulled a Happy Gilmore and yelled "Jackass" right as he was about to hit it, he turned around to glare at me, and I just stood there watching his ball go in while he was busy giving me the death stare.

You should have followed it up with Hey Shooter, wanna go to Sizzler?!

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We had a numpty join us on the back 9 of Torrey Pines on Friday.

We were playing a very good 3 ball before this arse became part of our group.

He was pleasant at the 10th ,introduced himself and away we went.

We got no conversation from him during the next 3 holes and he walked off the course without a  word.We were wondering what we did for a couple of minutes but decided he was an arse.

Question.If he should join us next weekend at TP should I say no??

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The word SHANK

Should never been uttered, to a playing partner, to yourself, to anyone.

For some reason it also annoys me when I've gone through my pre-putt routine and I'm walking up to address my putt, and this one guy in particular will always say "Knock it in there"

No shit? You think I should try to make it?

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We had a numpty join us on the back 9 of Torrey Pines on Friday.

We were playing a very good 3 ball before this arse became part of our group.

He was pleasant at the 10th ,introduced himself and away we went.

We got no conversation from him during the next 3 holes and he walked off the course without a  word.We were wondering what we did for a couple of minutes but decided he was an arse.

Question.If he should join us next weekend at TP should I say no??

Depends if you like numptys.......

BTW, what is a numpty??

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[QUOTE name="Scotsclaff" url="/t/82391/things-not-to-say-to-a-playing-partner/72#post_1152943"]   We had a numpty join us on the back 9 of Torrey Pines on Friday. We were playing a very good 3 ball before this arse became part of our group. He was pleasant at the 10th ,introduced himself and away we went. We got no conversation from him during the next 3 holes and he walked off the course without a  word.We were wondering what we did for a couple of minutes but decided he was an arse. Question.If he should join us next weekend at TP should I say no?? [/QUOTE] Depends if you like numptys....... BTW, what is a numpty??

Clueless. . . Actually, I need to look up almost everything anyway. Scottish for a clueless dolt.

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When he's adding up his score for the side, if he needs to use your calculator to add up the (large) numbers?

Also, "There's people behind us, should we tally up your score at the end of the round when you have at least an hour?"

Thanks @inthehole

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Whenever your playing partner gets a par or birdie, asking are you sure did you count the strokes to reach the green? Orcalling them a pencil whipper.
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Note: This thread is 2229 days old. We appreciate that you found this thread instead of starting a new one, but if you plan to post here please make sure it's still relevant. If not, please start a new topic. Thank you!

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