Why won't they take steps to improve?

[Dave2512]

12 minutes ago, WUTiger said:

Since formally hitting the senior mark, I run into golfers I met 10 years back who now only play scrambles or an occasional nine holes. With senior golfers, many get frustrated with their game - and their bodies - going downhill and start to slack off.

I'll let the Gen-Xers speak for themselves on this.

I am still playing a lot but at 47 it's not without pain. And that's taking care of myself my fitness regimen is pretty intense. I see it with my folks in their late 60's. At this point they golf just to enjoy being out there and having fun. I've been hinting it may be time for them to consider playing family tees because they do get frustrated when they play poorly which is almost always .

My Mom hits a driver about as far as I hit a PW but she still has sets of tees between her and the hole. I don't get it. It's a common problem most every golfer I encounter is playing too far back not only relative to their skill but also their ability.

[Aflighter]

Some people just will not accept any help to improve their game.I like to help if I see someone struggling with something but most of the time theyll say I cant do that or make excuses.Even had one of the guys we play with get upset cause he said we wouldnt tell him what he was doing wrong.We all said you wont listen so whats the point.

[Lihu]

2 hours ago, WUTiger said:

Since formally hitting the senior mark, I run into golfers I met 10 years back who now only play scrambles or an occasional nine holes. With senior golfers, many get frustrated with their game - and their bodies - going downhill and start to slack off.

I'll let the Gen-Xers speak for themselves on this.

"No matter how bad your round, it's a heck of a lot better than lying in a hospital with tubes in every cavity in your body." -Random golf that I met at the parking lot after I shot a terrible round.

As to the Gen-Xers, most of them are driving around in mini vans with their kids. . .

[rkim291968]

14 hours ago, 9wood said:

 

 When he is angry at his game it makes our outing less enjoyable.

 

It seems you just want him to control his anger ... b/c even if he improves, he will most likely have same anger issue. 

[JonMA1]

6 hours ago, Dave2512 said:

I know people that half ass try to get better they simply don't know how to improve. My folks have a friend that is arguable one of the funkiest golfers I have ever seen. Weird swing with a bunch of really bad habits. We had the same instructor. I've been at group clinics when he was there. The coach would show him stuff and for whatever reason he just couldn't do it exactly as it needed to be. My guess is he also didn't practiced what was recommended. He make small gains in lessons and go right back to everything bad.

This guy isn't a weekend warrior type either. He's retired plays a lot of golf and spends loads of money on new gear. I see people like this all the time. Some people will never understand what it takes to actually improve. They resist improving if anything.

Yep. I feel like this is me sometimes but would stop at calling it a half-assed attempt.

We want to improve as much as anyone. Put a ton of time, thought, and effort into it. Make some gains, but subconsciously revert back to what doesn't work. It feels good hitting into the net, might even look ok on video and will often carry over to the course for a while. But the bad habit will eventually take over. Like we have no control over subtle changes that are needed.

I sometimes feel that even with lessons from the best instructors in the world (I'm speaking of Evolvr of course) for the rest of my life, any positive change would be minimal.

To the O.P.: It may look to others like we don't want to get better, but that's not always the case. And as others have said, giving someone advice during a bad round is kind of like pouring salt into an open wound, regardless of how good one's intentions might be.

[9wood]

16 hours ago, Yukari said:

A simple answer is everyone is different, and therefore has different priorities. 

You should not try to force your priorities on him. 

Second, what works for one person does not necessarily work on another as everyone had a different swing. 

And more importantly, you should never give advice when not asked.

Actually I never force advice on anyone, I merely share with them what I have been learning and applying to my own game things which have helped me to improve. I'll say; hey Bob, I had a golf lesson yesterday, and the golf instructor had me try this or that, and it has really helped me on this one area of my game. Then I will simply demonstrate the new technique I learned hoping Bob would find it interesting - but NO, Bob never shows any interest - none whatsoever and remains unhappy with his game.

I have another golfing partner who is quite a bit better than me, and whenever we play, he offers me very helpful tips which I gladly soak in. Why? because they have helped me to improve.

So to anyone who is unhappy with their game and grumbling about their shots, but won't take any steps to improve - Get use to it!!!!

12 hours ago, rkim291968 said:

 

It seems you just want him to control his anger ... b/c even if he improves, he will most likely have same anger issue. 

I just want him to enjoy the outing. 

I'll see him try to make a putt on a green with a lot of break and rather than play the break he will aim right at the cup, and then wonder why his ball didn't come even close to the cup. Leaves me shaking my head.

[inthehole]

I know a guy like that ... really tall athletic build - but is so hard headed and set in his ways ... he'll never be a good golfer because of his inability to take any kind of advice from anyone.     Just swings too hard and has no sense of balance - literally walks backwards & falls back on every swing.    Sad part is he can almost beat me with that awful swing - he has the physical tools I wish I had & if he took just a little advice, he'd be a good player ...

[Lihu]

1 hour ago, 9wood said:

Actually I never force advice on anyone, I merely share with them what I have been learning and applying to my own game things which have helped me to improve. I'll say; hey Bob, I had a golf lesson yesterday, and the golf instructor had me try this or that, and it has really helped me on this one area of my game. Then I will simply demonstrate the new technique I learned hoping Bob would find it interesting - but NO, Bob never shows any interest - none whatsoever and remains unhappy with his game.

I have another golfing partner who is quite a bit better than me, and whenever we play, he offers me very helpful tips which I gladly soak in. Why? because they have helped me to improve.

So to anyone who is unhappy with their game and grumbling about their shots, but won't take any steps to improve - Get use to it!!!!

I just want him to enjoy the outing. 

I'll see him try to make a putt on a green with a lot of break and rather than play the break he will aim right at the cup, and then wonder why his ball didn't come even close to the cup. Leaves me shaking my head.

 

The best way to keep him from getting frustrated is to play your own game and let him play his game. It's tempting to talk about all the strides you've made and the improvements you've made, but try to just talk about other more pleasant things while playing your round.

[RussUK]

I dont think its always a case of not wanting to improve, its often a case of not having the time to improve. Im in the same boat, ive not enjoyed my golf this year to the point of stopping playing and just working on my swing with no success. I work long hours and want to spend as much of my free time with my 2 yr old, and with another little one due in April i'll have even less time. 

I want to improve but modern life gets in the way,so golf has to take a back seat. I got so dissolusioned with the game this year i almost gave up till a very low hcp family member told me to look at the "alternative" swing methods as my sole aim is enjoyment, so on his advice i am taking the plunge.

There are always ways and means to enjoy golf, whether its a swing change to a mechanically simpler swing to playing and not keeping score. I findthe latter is often a good choice as it takes away the competitive part of the game. Laugh of the bad shots, even your own to put him at ease

 

[dbuck]

Everyone has different priorities, time available, and other factors.

I really enjoy golf. It is the only sport I have ever had a desire to do well. Still, I have been a bogey golfer most of my life. At one time in my late 20's early 30's I was close to a single digit, maybe a 10, but didn't keep a legit handicap back then. At 57 I can still make a decent pass at the ball and when I am in the groove, drive it pretty well, at least for an old guy. I can't say that I really make a great effort at improvement, but I do try to maintain and work on a few things. I will hit balls occasionally, practice short shots in the yard, and go to the course just to work on putting. With work and other obligations though, I am lucky to play 9 holes once or twice a week  6 months out of the year.

I play with a couple of guys older than me sometimes, and I will occasionally offer a gentle suggestion, but I don't beat them up.

Enjoy your game, and if you have the time and resources to dedicate to getting to your potential, do it.

[9wood]

50 minutes ago, RussUK said:

There are always ways and means to enjoy golf, whether its a swing change to a mechanically simpler swing to playing and not keeping score. 

 

Keeping score is a good way to see if you are improving. The main purpose of keeping score is not to see if you're beating the other guy, but rather to see if your game is improving

[Lihu]

9 minutes ago, 9wood said:

Keeping score is a good way to see if you are improving. The main purpose of keeping score is not to see if you're beating the other guy, but rather to see if your game is improving

You can just quietly keep your own score.

[turtleback]

5 hours ago, 9wood said:

Actually I never force advice on anyone, I merely share with them what I have been learning and applying to my own game things which have helped me to improve.

. . . 

I just want him to enjoy the outing. 

 

What makes you think that anything you are doing is going to make him enjoy the outing more?  Once it is clear that he is not interested in your advice, secondhand from your pro or not, how does your continuing to do it make his day more enjoyable?  

It is not a one size fits all world.  

 

[isukgolf]

I relatively happy with my current lvl of 95'ish ... while I do try to get better, its not a top priority for me.  I love the hanging and bantering with friends, more than I am worried about beating the course lower my HC ... I embrace that I suk 

I think it was mentioned its about priorities and the self-value you get from teeing it up ... its different for each one of us.

There is too many things for me to worry about, and being on the golf course is an escape for me ... I enjoy just being out there ... healthy and enjoying the day.

A long explanation for ... I sort of get where the guy is coming from 

[9wood]

1 hour ago, turtleback said:

What makes you think that anything you are doing is going to make him enjoy the outing more?  Once it is clear that he is not interested in your advice, secondhand from your pro or not, how does your continuing to do it make his day more enjoyable?  

It is not a one size fits all world.  

 

Well I golfed with the guy quite a bit and I just wish that he would stop grumbling about his shots if he's not going to make any changes to help him improve. I guess in a sense you could call me selfish since I personally enjoy my outing much better when I don't have to play golf with a constant grumbler. This was probably my final year of partnering up with this individual. If I make a bad shot, which I do, unlike him I don't grumble about it, instead I laugh at myself and move on. Next year I plan on teaming up with players who don't grumble so much.

[Lihu]

2 hours ago, 9wood said:

Well I golfed with the guy quite a bit and I just wish that he would stop grumbling about his shots if he's not going to make any changes to help him improve. I guess in a sense you could call me selfish since I personally enjoy my outing much better when I don't have to play golf with a constant grumbler. This was probably my final year of partnering up with this individual. If I make a bad shot, which I do, unlike him I don't grumble about it, instead I laugh at myself and move on. Next year I plan on teaming up with players who don't grumble so much.

I would think more rounds in the future are possible with him, but definitely find other partners as well.

[Rainmaker]

6 hours ago, 9wood said:

Well I golfed with the guy quite a bit and I just wish that he would stop grumbling about his shots if he's not going to make any changes to help him improve. I guess in a sense you could call me selfish since I personally enjoy my outing much better when I don't have to play golf with a constant grumbler. This was probably my final year of partnering up with this individual. If I make a bad shot, which I do, unlike him I don't grumble about it, instead I laugh at myself and move on. Next year I plan on teaming up with players who don't grumble so much.

Well . .not practicing is one thing.  Being a grumbler is another.  Nobody wants to golf with a dude that gets mad on every other shot.  Thing is, tho . .once a grumbler, always a grumbler.  Today he grumbles about a shank.  If he were a 10, he'd grumble about pulled and pushed drives.  If he were scratch . .he'd still find something to grumble about.  I'm nothing like a scratch so I don't know . .what do you grumbling scratches complain about?  Bad bounces? 

[vangator]

It's not golf if you can't b!tch and moan and throw F-bombs!

Edited November 18, 2015 by vangator