Can a marriage between an avid golfer and a non-golfer work?

[DrvFrShow]

It can work if the non-golfer has a concept of time and realizes that certain pursuits involve practice time as well. 

It is like a musician and non-musician. The non-musician falls in love with the musician because of the way they play their instrument, especially if they're at concert level. However, sometimes the non-musician just does not realize how much time is involved to maintain that level of ability. They say they're fine with it at first, but then silently resent it.

It is best to have this stuff clear and up front before one gets married. Things like - 2 two-hour sessions at the driving range per week. And perhaps one 6 hour round of golf on the weekend. A round of golf does not take 4 hours even under the best of circumstances. It could take 5 hrs. You could get stuck in traffic. So 6 hrs. just to be safe. Your spouse should have a hobby.

[GolfLug]

I have finally infected my wife. Well.... there are symptoms.

@SavvySwede, my kids are getting in to it too. As a matter of fact, once they are older, I will be using them as an excuse to play more. My 7 year old can out hit me (number of balls) on the range. 

It's not that hard. As @Ernest Jones  pointed out, don't be a dick about it and you can get plenty. Of course if you are married to a completely selfish golf hating beach, then well, lack of golf is the least of your problems.  

[Mr. Desmond]

It can work, but you can't be a golf addict unless you are both golf addicts.

[WUTiger]

As per @stealthhwk, it's all about balance and priorities.

I had my 40th wedding anniversary this past August. Before we married, my wife knew I was a long-time caddie and had been a walk-on player on my junior college golf team.

She was an occasional social golfer for years, but that's changing as her retirement approaches. She got fitted for new golf clubs last year, and we're in our third season as members at a local semi-private course. For spring break, we'll go to Myrtle Beach for the second year in a row.

That said, I've had to realize that she's not as into golf as I am. When we had family reunion events on the same day as charity golf scrambles, I just sat out the golf. The "you don't care" fallout was heavy in early bids to blend the two.

Also, @PEZGolf didn't pick the best example for husband-golfers with Walter Hagen. The Haig was notorious for womanizing and all-night partying. More than once his limo arrived at the course just before morning tee-off. The Haig - in rumpled clothing - would exit, sometimes with a debutante on his arm.

[PEZGolf]

7 hours ago, inthehole said:

I got the best of both worlds ... neither my wife or I ever golfed when we got married.    We're late bloomers (no kids) & took the sport up together & she's (almost) as avid as I am ... never have to worry about her not wanting to play.    It's truly a great couples activity ... but seems both have to be avid for it to work

PEZ SEZ----in most cases, you are right!

1 minute ago, WUTiger said:

As per @stealthhwk, it's all about balance and priorities.

I had my 40th wedding anniversary this past August. Before we married, my wife knew I was a long-time caddie and had been a walk-on player on my junior college golf team.

She was an occasional social golfer for years, but that's changing as her retirement approaches. She got fitted for new golf clubs last year, and we're in our third season as members at a local semi-private course. For spring break, we'll go to Myrtle Beach for the second year in a row.

That said, I've had to realize that she's not as into golf as I am. When we had family reunion events on the same day as charity golf scrambles, I just sat out the golf. The "you don't care" fallout was heavy in early bids to blend the two.

Also, @PEZGolf didn't pick the best example for husband-golfers with Walter Hagen. The Haig was notorious for womanizing and all-night partying. More than once his limo arrived at the course just before morning tee-off. The Haig - in rumpled clothing - would exit, sometimes with a debutante on his arm.

PEZ SEZ---;you are right about The Haig.. It is one thing yo be gone for 4+ hours, but it is dead wrong to pull an all-nighter!

[PEZGolf]

51 minutes ago, Mr. Desmond said:

It can work, but you can't be a golf addict unless you are both golf addicts.

PEZ SEZ---thank God that I am a golf enthusiast, and NOT a golf addict. As defined by Professor Golf in my magazine, "The Golf News", a golf enthusiast does NOT miss church, family functions or work to play golf, even though he or she  may be tempted!

[Rip62]

I've been married 32 years and my wife doesn't play because of back issues.vshe doesn't have a problem with me playing.

[JapanDave]

 I voted yes. Married 16 years, my wife hates the game, but if it gets me out of the house she does not complain. I think it is just a case of priorities, make sure you put family first in most cases and there should not be a problem.

[Dave325]

I've been happily married for 34 years to a non-golfer. I tried to get her to play in our first year of marriage. Took her to s par 3 after showing her the ropes and she hated it and never did it again. So we play putt-putt and she does like Wii Golf (smile). The interesting thing is that she liked watching golf on TV. Life's good.

[Jarhead247]

Married 18 years.  Wife doesn't play but doesn't care how much I play.  I know my family is my priority and if golf ever conflicts I will pick family.  

[gatsby47]

Yes.  Prioritize your life. Make sure she is aware of golf's time consumption. Special attention to her when not golfing is a plus. Having been married for 26, 3, and now 14 years.  Two of them played occasionally.  This keeper plays no sports and watches the Masters and the British Open when Tiger and/or Rory  play. We cheer for the Habs too. together.  She swears more than I do.

[PEZGolf]

10 hours ago, gatsby47 said:

Yes.  Prioritize your life. Make sure she is aware of golf's time consumption. Special attention to her when not golfing is a plus. Having been married for 26, 3, and now 14 years.  Two of them played occasionally.  This keeper plays no sports and watches the Masters and the British Open when Tiger and/or Rory  play. We cheer for the Habs too. together.  She swears more than I do.

Good advice! Not only is my wife a non-golfer, she has not played any sport competitively. So she really does not know about the amount of practice time required. I utilized the following rules:

1. I did much of my practicing at home by using plastic whiffle balls. Good ones will fly on the same path as real balls. I putted on the carpet in the living room.
2. I limited my practice rounds to one 9 hole round and one 18 hole each week.
3. I taught our son and daughter to play golf as soon as they could swing a club. Golf became a family sport.
4. My wife does watch some  sports, and I encouraged her to watch golf with us.

These rules worked to keep all of us happy.

[TN94z]

I voted yes. It can for sure work. I've been with a non-golfer for 9+ years and have had no issues. She tried it once with me and actually did really good but she just doesn't like sports. Now our 14 year old is hooked, so that will help out..haha!

[Fourputt]

My wife plays...... sort of.  She will come out for 9 holes with me a couple of times a month now that we are both retired, but if she never saw another golf course, it wouldn't faze her  in the least.  We got married late, first marriage for both of us.  She knew that I was a golfer, but we both were avid scuba divers too (we met working part time teaching diving in a Denver area dive shop), so we had that for togetherness, and just hanging out with each other.  When I retired, she still had to work for a few more years (she is 11 years younger), so she told me I could retire at 60, but only if I found a way to support my golf habit.  I went to work as a starter at my home course and that was that.  

We have time together and time apart - she loves to go the the casinos in Blackhawk and spend a couple of days every other month at the tables, and I will take a week home and away each summer with my brother playing golf in Colorado and Idaho.  I don't dive any more, but she is going to Thailand for 10 days in January on a liveaboard dive boat.  We get time away from each other and time together... we have a good balance.  Going on 23 years and cruising. 

[mchepp]

I wrote about this a few years ago. It was one of my most commented articles. My wife still doesn't play, I am hoping my daughter will. 

http://thesandtrap.com/b/thrash_talk/are_you_married_to_golf

[PEZGolf]

3 hours ago, mchepp said:

I wrote about this a few years ago. It was one of my most commented articles. My wife still doesn't play, I am hoping my daughter will. 

http://thesandtrap.com/b/thrash_talk/are_you_married_to_golf

I am sure this subject will come up again in a few years. At our club, it comes up a lot since approximately half of us  have wives who do not play. To make our marriages last, we have to constantly work at it. ****** When my wife and I first got married, my mother-in-law told me about the 3 C's that are necessary for a successful marriage ----cooperation, compromise, and communication. She is so right!

[Marty2019]

When you're both retired,  as we are, you spend so much time together, golf is a great way to get apart for a few hours or a whole day.  She encourages me to play, and I come home in a great frame of mind, having spent the day with friends on the golf course, and it's great.   In my opinion, to have a great marriage, you have to get away from each other and have some part of your life that is all yours and doesn't involve her, and vice versa. 

[PEZGolf]

Christmas is a good time for a couple to express their feelings for each other. I received my golf gifts and I gave my honey Elizabeth Taylor perfume, which she has NEVER had before, a gift card to Red Lobster, and Romance novels.Merry Christmas to ALL!