Golfing With Strangers-The Good, The Bad, & The Ugly

[sjduffers]

I had an interesting pairing today: 3 singles meet up on the first tee.  One guy is very, very hard of hearing (not completely deaf, but you basically have to speak very loudly very near him), another one has one of these holes in the throat when they intubate you and can't talk except in the faintest of whisper, and the third guy is me (no major issue that I know of, except perhaps my golf game from time to time...).

We manage around the track, with little conversation as you may imagine. The nearly deaf guy plays with hickory clubs, and persimmon woods, which are nearly 100 years old. He's got some mashies, niblicks, irons stamped with the name of the local pro from over 90 years ago, a blade putter, the whole thing in a lightweight bag made of textile that looks like a tent. It takes him about three shots to get on par 4s and 4 on par 5s (hitting the "driver" 3 times) and he plays basically bogey golf, which I find pretty amazing with that equipment. He even let me hit his driver once: I hit it smoothly as he warned me, and the ball went just shy of 200 yards. It was a cool feeling!  He figures out I am of French origin from my name and proceeds to show me all his ancestry on a folded piece of paper about to fall apart, and shows me two of his great-great-grandmothers who were French on his family tree which is mostly Irish and Scottish...

Meanwhile, the silent guy claps to show his appreciation of a good shoot (and makes the thumbs up gesture afterwards), and also to alert me or other guy, but mainly me (as the other guy can't hear the clap), when we have overlooked a ball or are in his way as we are both walking ahead and he is riding in a cart.

So, communication problems? Definitely! But we managed pretty well and we all had a very pleasant round. Amazing how that works, uh?

[imsys0042]

So I'm on the course now in a wonderful situation.   I had 8:21 with me and another person.  Said other person had to drop out but I updated the tee time system.  Two guys hopped on with me.  I get to the tee five minutes early and they are hitting.   I walk to the box and they shuffle quickly off and don't even look at me.   

I was prepared to just let them go.  There were two email notifications, a pro shop check and the starter himself who will tell them the whole group.  So they knew I was there and coming. The starter has a full sheet behind him so he told them "this fella is with you".  So I hit and they still didn't even introduce themselves.  

I drove out to where they were on the first fairway and they introduced themselves.  Clearly they don't want me here and it was originally my time!  Sigh, I envy the people who don't have any stories like this.    I think a private club just invites people being like this.  Public courses the expectations are you are teamed up, which is usually better

[bkuehn1952]

On August 24, 2016 at 10:24 PM, sjduffers said:

I had an interesting pairing today: 3 singles meet up on the first tee. ... we managed pretty well and we all had a very pleasant round. Amazing how that works, uh?

SJD...that is my kind of group! When the players are an interesting collection, some great memories can be had.

[imsys0042]

I want to follow up in my prior post.   The guys who tried to ditch me.  Well they hung back after 9 for almost 15 minutes and then came rolling up and said "oh we stopped for a drink, we thought you would go ahead".  I started to head for my cart but they just headed to the tee, so I'm like WTF!?   

Any way, I almost killed someone thanks to them.  Second shot on a dogleg par 5 with elevation and trees between me to the green.  They were parked in view of the green and I had a blind shot to the pin.  I asked them "is the green clear?"   They go "yeah".  I hit a good shot tracking towards the left side of the green.  I hit less than 10 feet away from the foursome in front of me with a 3-iron.  I came around the dogleg and the ditch there and saw them and immediately went to apologize. I made it clear I asked the people I was with and they said it was ok to hit.  My ball hit just short into a hill leading to the green.  10 feet more and I would have hit right in the middle of them .  Thankfully my ball jumped back.  

No other word.  Assholes.  

[newtogolf]

19 hours ago, imsys0042 said:

I want to follow up in my prior post.   The guys who tried to ditch me.  Well they hung back after 9 for almost 15 minutes and then came rolling up and said "oh we stopped for a drink, we thought you would go ahead".  I started to head for my cart but they just headed to the tee, so I'm like WTF!?   

Any way, I almost killed someone thanks to them.  Second shot on a dogleg par 5 with elevation and trees between me to the green.  They were parked in view of the green and I had a blind shot to the pin.  I asked them "is the green clear?"   They go "yeah".  I hit a good shot tracking towards the left side of the green.  I hit less than 10 feet away from the foursome in front of me with a 3-iron.  I came around the dogleg and the ditch there and saw them and immediately went to apologize. I made it clear I asked the people I was with and they said it was ok to hit.  My ball hit just short into a hill leading to the green.  10 feet more and I would have hit right in the middle of them .  Thankfully my ball jumped back.  

No other word.  Assholes.  

There's no excuse for their behavior, but it's unfortunate that the course put you and them in such an awkward situation.  The starter at my club will ask both parties if they mind playing together and usually will introduce us if we're all members.  It helps to break the ice and also gives each party the opportunity to decline if there's a valid reason for doing so.  

I do a lot of business on the golf course.  When I invite a customer or vendor to play at my club, the goal is to entertain that person, not to hang out with other members from my club, especially ones I don't know.  In these situations I'll try to book the tee time as a foursome to avoid making anyone feel neglected or uncomfortable but it's not always possible.  When the Starter asks if we mind having someone join my tee time I'll be honest and explain they are welcome to play but that I'm there for business and will be focused on entertaining my guest.  

[drmevo]

I had one that was both good and bad the other day.  I went to one of the nearby courses I usually play at as a single and the starter pairs me up with another single and couple.  The couple is a husband/wife duo in their 50's or 60's and he plays OK but you can tell she doesn't golf a whole lot.  Which is fine, except she complains after every bad shot she hits (which is really...every shot), takes forever, parks their cart in weird places, steps all over everyone's putting lines, looks for balls lost deep in the woods, etc.  So on the front nine, because of all this, I'm having trouble keeping my head in the game. Bad pacing, having to respond to all these annoying negative comments from the wife - she almost made it unenjoyable, which is actually kind of rare in my experience.

The other single is a great player, nice guy, albeit quiet and we're both walking so we just sort of keep our distance from the couple after awhile.  We finally get around to talk about what we do for work and it turns out he works at the farm right across from our house where we participate in the CSA and get all our veggies. At the turn, the couple takes off since they were only playing 9 and we decide to play more holes. I ask him if he played golf in school and it turns out he played for Penn State - sweet!

We got most of the second nine in and I ended up hitting some excellent shots and putts (for me) and keeping up with him in terms of my relative ability. We exchanged numbers after and he later ended up asking me to play in a local Pro-Am with him and his cousin, who is a PGA Pro. Now the only problem is I haven't ever played in that type of tournament so I'm pretty nervous - hopefully it's a best ball!

Overall, it was very cool to befriend someone who plays or at least played at a high level.  Now if only I can stay out of my own head when it comes time for this tournament...

Edited September 21, 2016 by drmevo

[paininthenuts]

I love playing against strangers. Meeting new people in any situation is a good thing. Paired up with a bloke the other day who was 78 years of age and fit as a fiddle. He lost his wife when he was 72 and started to play at 73, and not a bad player at all. I can't ever remember pairing up with a stranger that I didn't get on with. 

13 hours ago, drmevo said:

I had one that was both good and bad the other day.  I went to one of the nearby courses I usually play at as a single and the starter pairs me up with another single and couple.  The couple is a husband/wife duo in their 50's or 60's and he plays OK but you can tell she doesn't golf a whole lot.  Which is fine, except she complains after every bad shot she hits (which is really...every shot), takes forever, parks their cart in weird places, steps all over everyone's putting lines, looks for balls lost deep in the woods, etc.  So on the front nine, because of all this, I'm having trouble keeping my head in the game. Bad pacing, having to respond to all these annoying negative comments from the wife - she almost made it unenjoyable, which is actually kind of rare in my experience.

The other single is a great player, nice guy, albeit quiet and we're both walking so we just sort of keep our distance from the couple after awhile.  We finally get around to talk about what we do for work and it turns out he works at the farm right across from our house where we participate in the CSA and get all our veggies. At the turn, the couple takes off since they were only playing 9 and we decide to play more holes. I ask him if he played golf in school and it turns out he played for Penn State - sweet!

We got most of the second nine in and I ended up hitting some excellent shots and putts (for me) and keeping up with him in terms of my relative ability. We exchanged numbers after and he later ended up asking me to play in a local Pro-Am with him and his cousin, who is a PGA Pro. Now the only problem is I haven't ever played in that type of tournament so I'm pretty nervous - hopefully it's a best ball!

Overall, it was very cool to befriend someone who plays or at least played at a high level.  Now if only I can stay out of my own head when it comes time for this tournament...

I just hope he doesn't ask you to go to the pictures (movies) with him 

Edited September 22, 2016 by paininthenuts

[DaveP043]

18 hours ago, drmevo said:

We got most of the second nine in and I ended up hitting some excellent shots and putts (for me) and keeping up with him in terms of my relative ability. We exchanged numbers after and he later ended up asking me to play in a local Pro-Am with him and his cousin, who is a PGA Pro. Now the only problem is I haven't ever played in that type of tournament so I'm pretty nervous - hopefully it's a best ball!

Overall, it was very cool to befriend someone who plays or at least played at a high level.  Now if only I can stay out of my own head when it comes time for this tournament...

I've played in just a couple of regional Pro-Ams (the Middle Atlantic PGA is our regional body) with our club pro.  Its perfectly understandable being nervous, but I'm sure you'll have fun.  You'll see people of all levels of ability.  When I've played, I've played my own ball all the way.  They'll typically take one low net score per team for each hole, so with your handicap strokes you have a real opportunity to contribute.  The low team scores will commonly get pro shop credit as prizes.  Assuming that's the format, you can also pick up if you're having a bad hole.  The pros will also be playing against the other pros for cash prizes.  Just go out and have fun, try your best to play well, be a good companion on the course, all of the things you do every time you play.

[drmevo]

1 hour ago, DaveP043 said:

I've played in just a couple of regional Pro-Ams (the Middle Atlantic PGA is our regional body) with our club pro.  Its perfectly understandable being nervous, but I'm sure you'll have fun.  You'll see people of all levels of ability.  When I've played, I've played my own ball all the way.  They'll typically take one low net score per team for each hole, so with your handicap strokes you have a real opportunity to contribute.  The low team scores will commonly get pro shop credit as prizes.  Assuming that's the format, you can also pick up if you're having a bad hole.  The pros will also be playing against the other pros for cash prizes.  Just go out and have fun, try your best to play well, be a good companion on the course, all of the things you do every time you play.

Awesome, thanks for the info!  I was able to find the tournament info and it looks like it is 2 best ball per foursome per hole.  I'll have to check my course handicap but I'm guessing I'll get a stroke per hole so you're right, that should put me in a decent position to contribute. 

[dfreuter415]

My favorite story was when my two brothers and I (all teenagers) played a local muni and were paired with an 88 year old golfer. We all walked 9 holes that day. We were young and strong, but didn't know where the ball was going. The old man was short and straight and got to the ball in a timely fashion. It was a wonderful day listening to his stories and watching a gentleman play the game I love so much.

[Bucki1968]

I my experience with playing with strangers I have found that the earlier I play, the better the stranger is to play with and talk too. I figure at 7:15 am they must really just want to play and have a good time. They are dedicated! I tend to run into the crazy guys after 10:00....which isn't necessarily a bad thing. One thing that is universal, however, is that every single one of them tells me how bad they are. Doesn't matter what their handicap is...they all tell me they are bad.

[bkuehn1952]

I'll toss out another unique encounter.  One gloomy day I headed over to our city's executive course.  No one was around so I teed off as a single.  I could see a single ahead of me.  As I got closer, I could see the elderly gentleman was not moving along and seemed to be randomly wandering around.  I caught him in the 2nd fairway.  When I arrived at my tee shot he was just ahead, sort of wandering around.  He indicated I should play through.  As I walked forward after hitting my 2nd shot I asked if he was okay. He said he was fine but was having a hard time finding his ball because of his extremely poor eyesight.  I suggested we join together and he agreed.  I became his "seeing eye caddie".  We would both tee off and then I would lead him to where his ball went.  Fortunately, he did not hit it too far or too wildly but it was a good workout zigging & zagging up the fairway between his shots and mine.

[Lihu]

40 minutes ago, bkuehn1952 said:

I'll toss out another unique encounter.  One gloomy day I headed over to our city's executive course.  No one was around so I teed off as a single.  I could see a single ahead of me.  As I got closer, I could see the elderly gentleman was not moving along and seemed to be randomly wandering around.  I caught him in the 2nd fairway.  When I arrived at my tee shot he was just ahead, sort of wandering around.  He indicated I should play through.  As I walked forward after hitting my 2nd shot I asked if he was okay. He said he was fine but was having a hard time finding his ball because of his extremely poor eyesight.  I suggested we join together and he agreed.  I became his "seeing eye caddie".  We would both tee off and then I would lead him to where his ball went.  Fortunately, he did not hit it too far or too wildly but it was a good workout zigging & zagging up the fairway between his shots and mine.

Inspiring. You seem like the type who would help out anyone in need. I'm sure he enjoyed his round much more as a result!

[anker0071]

I play as a single about 90% of the time. I like playing alone but I don't mind playing with others. Most people are nice, not many jerks I can recall, and those I can were just cocky. I'm really quiet by nature so some people probably think I am a bit of a jerk, but I hope not. 

I got paired with a skinny dude with long dreads and scruffy beard. He looked like he just came from a Widespread Panic show. He hit the bowl every other hole but played awesome. Didn't keep score but he was -2 on the front because I was keeping track in my head. That was fun.

I did pair up with a female once. She was playing as a single first thing in the morning, and was around my age (late 20's early 30's).  She said she was embarrassed to play with guys, but she would have beat some of my buddies by a couple of shots. That was the only time I have seen a female playing alone. 

The only real negative experience was with two guys who were clearly not as good as me, yet took the time to critique my swing at every turn (over draw tee shot was followed with "you turned your hands over") Anyway, one dude hit a ball ob and into a guy's yard on the other side of the cart path. I knew he was going to try to play his shot from there. It was also at the course I am a member of, and the guy who lives there is a maniac. So he takes a massive beaver pelt with his practice swing and the owner of the house about ran through his back door cussing this guy for playing out of his yard. I bust out laughing as this guy is getting horse cussed by this homeowner. "White stakes mean out-of-bounds, buddy...stroke and distance" were the last words I spoke for the remaining 11 holes.

[Kalnoky]

23 minutes ago, anker0071 said:

I play as a single about 90% of the time. I like playing alone but I don't mind playing with others. Most people are nice, not many jerks I can recall, and those I can were just cocky.

This is my experience as well. My wife works later than I do, so twilight is my best shot at getting 9 holes in. Not many golfers out then. I've never been paired with a jerk, but I've seen a handful of mouthy kids out there. Kids just being typical impetuous kids, you know, the kind that respect nothing, know nothing, but have an opinion about everything. Not a big deal.

On weekends I get paired with strangers more often. The only thing that really bothers me is playing partners (usually middle-aged men) who start talking about money. Are people really that dolt and unimaginative? I was raised that talking about (and asking about) money is rude. If we're not in business together, please do not ask about or volunteer the details of your Balance Sheet.     

On a lighter note, the best strangers to get paired with are father/son combos. I enjoy watching the repartee - very heartwarming. 

 

[Gator Hazard]

1 hour ago, anker0071 said:

I play as a single about 90% of the time. I like playing alone but I don't mind playing with others. Most people are nice, not many jerks I can recall, and those I can were just cocky. I'm really quiet by nature so some people probably think I am a bit of a jerk, but I hope not. 

I got paired with a skinny dude with long dreads and scruffy beard. He looked like he just came from a Widespread Panic show. He hit the bowl every other hole but played awesome. Didn't keep score but he was -2 on the front because I was keeping track in my head. That was fun.

I did pair up with a female once. She was playing as a single first thing in the morning, and was around my age (late 20's early 30's).  She said she was embarrassed to play with guys, but she would have beat some of my buddies by a couple of shots. That was the only time I have seen a female playing alone. 

The only real negative experience was with two guys who were clearly not as good as me, yet took the time to critique my swing at every turn (over draw tee shot was followed with "you turned your hands over") Anyway, one dude hit a ball ob and into a guy's yard on the other side of the cart path. I knew he was going to try to play his shot from there. It was also at the course I am a member of, and the guy who lives there is a maniac. So he takes a massive beaver pelt with his practice swing and the owner of the house about ran through his back door cussing this guy for playing out of his yard. I bust out laughing as this guy is getting horse cussed by this homeowner. "White stakes mean out-of-bounds, buddy...stroke and distance" were the last words I spoke for the remaining 11 holes.

What a jerk. How could he think it was okay to take a shot out of someone's yard?  I would have said something g before he tried to swing for the homeowners sake. I had someone play a shot out of my yard and took a divot. Wish I had been there to catch him. 

 

[Lihu]

24 minutes ago, Gator Hazard said:

What a jerk. How could he think it was okay to take a shot out of someone's yard?  I would have said something g before he tried to swing for the homeowners sake. I had someone play a shot out of my yard and took a divot. Wish I had been there to catch him.

He grounded his club in a "hazard".

[Daddycool_83]

I used to be a member at a club where competition slots were in threes,being as I only had one playing buddy we were always put with a single come comp day,you quickly realise who the outcasts are in the club,ive been paired with Mr know it all,Mr stickler for the rules,one guy on two occasions who didnt speak a word all round..one solitary word!..and the obnoxious teen playing off a 3 or whatever saying how great he is then watch him get dicked by me off a 19 at the time due to shots over him ha..ive seen them all,only played with one decent stranger there a nice old gent was like playing a round with my gramps..a real pleasure.Safe to say I only saw my years membership there before moving on