Playing with guys who 'have to play for something' or its not fun

[jsgolfer]

I play in a regular group that plays a $10/Nassau, we take the best two balls gross out of our foursome. And then we will play a $5 Nassau with $2 dollar birdies two against two. Usually have several bets going.  It's fun to play for something keeps you on your toes.

But I enjoy just playing as well.  Normally I have a standing drink bet with one of the guys I play with a lot.  I think we are pretty much even.

[rehmwa]

2 hours ago, Big C said:

I agree with this. In a regular group where I knew all the guys (and assuming we played for our normal modest stakes), having someone decline the press might bother me as well. 

No excuse for the guy lighting up his partner, though.

so the scenario is the guy wants to bet and you don't - he whines and whines about it (with all the same cliches "helps me focus" "makes it interesting", yawn, etc etc etc,) until, finally, you agree just so the game can go forward.  already your day is less fun, just so the betting player gets his way.  at the turn he's losing and he wants to 'press'.  enough is enough and you decline - and he gets pissed....I don't think the decline is the one with bad form.  I've had this happen frequently, they moan about it and I just offer to forgive the bet and play pure the rest of the round, which is what I wanted to do in the first place (I usually won't take the money anyway at the end in lieu of beer or drink, I find it pointless, I want to play golf)

I've found that betters are kind of dicks about it if you don't want to.  It's not my problem if it's not fun for them.  It becomes my problem if they then decide to make it less fun for everyone else.

it's different if they just respect a yes or no answer to the request to bet.  but a polite 'no thanks' rarely just ends there.

[rkim291968]

These guys often take a long time, especially, on green.  Someone already mentioned that some of these guys' attitude s**k.  A few will end up arguing, fighting over the round.   In some instances, people get hustled for big money - upwards of 6 figures. 

[Yukari]

15 hours ago, rehmwa said:

So what you are saying is you really enjoy making other peoples' days suck more than just having a good time playing a 'game' with friends.

 hilarious!!!

[paininthenuts]

17 hours ago, dave s said:

I play on Saturdays with a group of 6 regulars.  We usually have 4 of 6 each Saturday morning.  This past Saturday one guy in the group wasn't going to let the group tee off until 'the bet' was decided.  Ok, it ended up being a $10 nassau.

After the first nine, my partner an I closed out the nine 3 up.  Guy who suggested bet was getting more irritated because we didn't accept his press. After 3 more holes on the back, we're up 5 and closed them out on the 15th hole.  Betting guy was getting so worked up over not playing well and carrying his partner that the back nine was flat-out not enjoyable ... except for the banter with my partner while we're beating 'em like rented mules.

Hearing stuff like "#%$%%, you never #$%! play like this when it's NOT for money, do you?" from the guy who insisted on a 'money game' made a really nice round for me, (shot 84) kind of unrewarding.

Honestly, I'd really just rather play golf, enjoy the company of friends and not have to feel bad about taking $30 from a friend.  I certainly don't need his money.  And losing $30 doesn't mean he'd have to skip a meal, either.

Why do some have to 'play for something' to make a round of golf fun?

dave

We always play for a £1. It's a very small amount, but gives the game a little edge. Personally I believe this is a good balance

[mcanadiens]

As someone that is usually too keyed up anyway, betting is something I generally avoid. There is probably too much effort spent worrying about the score in the first place.

Most of the people I play with have little interest in such things anyway. One fellow and I will put a beer on it, but that's about it.

[natureboy]

17 hours ago, Club Rat said:

Betting in golf is like a Weekly Poker game with friends, the money usually goes around in circles.
Betting with strangers usually is no fun, it becomes too serious, often.
Guys I golf with, the winner usually buys a few brewski's after a round.

I've lost a couple of hundy's and won a couple of hundy's on rare occasions, but most of the time its just beer money exchanging hands.
with good chuckles afterwards. If and when someone gets their shorts uptight about a loss, they spend a little "Time-Out" until they act in a
Gentlemen like manner.

I also play many rounds with friends without any betting, it's pretty much the same as I have learned to expect and realize "some days your the Winner and some days the Loser"

Yeah play for who buys the beer. Maybe a bit less angst and it ends socially.

[Jeremie Boop]

12 hours ago, rehmwa said:

so the scenario is the guy wants to bet and you don't - he whines and whines about it (with all the same cliches "helps me focus" "makes it interesting", yawn, etc etc etc,) until, finally, you agree just so the game can go forward.  already your day is less fun, just so the betting player gets his way.  at the turn he's losing and he wants to 'press'.  enough is enough and you decline - and he gets pissed....I don't think the decline is the one with bad form.  I've had this happen frequently, they moan about it and I just offer to forgive the bet and play pure the rest of the round, which is what I wanted to do in the first place (I usually won't take the money anyway at the end in lieu of beer or drink, I find it pointless, I want to play golf)

I've found that betters are kind of dicks about it if you don't want to.  It's not my problem if it's not fun for them.  It becomes my problem if they then decide to make it less fun for everyone else.

it's different if they just respect a yes or no answer to the request to bet.  but a polite 'no thanks' rarely just ends there.

Happily I've never ran into this on the course. That said, I don't understand why it's "bad form" to not accept a press. Especially if you didn't even want to bet in the first place. It's like hearing "double or nothing man, give me a chance to win my money back" in the movies, all that makes me think is either the person is hustling or has a gambling problem.

[Gator Hazard]

8 hours ago, rkim291968 said:

These guys often take a long time, especially, on green.  Someone already mentioned that some of these guys' attitude s**k.  A few will end up arguing, fighting over the round.   In some instances, people get hustled for big money - upwards of 6 figures. 

Upwards of 6 figures??  If you are even reluctantly gambling that amount you must be a gambler. That's a lot of money!

I used to run a weekly poker game. Over time what I found is that people could lose twenty or forty bucks and in general it was still a nights entertainment. We would play a 20 tournament and then a cash game 20 buyin afterwards. I actually would suggest to people a 2 buy in max because I wanted people to have fun and come back and play again. I was the only one as the house/bank who could buy multiple times. It worked. People had fun and the game lasted for years. When I moved I turned the game over to another player. They removed that restriction and it became a blood game. People did not enjoy it as much and were nights when people who could not afford too lost a hundred bucks and or more (we were youngish so 100 was a good amount of money-not that it still isn't). That game broke apart because the weaker players figured out eventually that they were just donating their money and it ceased to be fun. 

I will bet or gamble a little to keep it interesting as long as it's friendly but really don't need too or care when it comes to golf. If you can't handle a bet and not be a baby, you shouldn't bet. A person whining over losing $30 has emotional and maturity problems in my opinion. 

[Elmer]

17 hours ago, rehmwa said:

So what you are saying is you really enjoy making other peoples' days suck more than just having a good time playing a 'game' with friends.

Maybe I do, but only with a specific group of playing partners.
You have to understand that the group in question are all vanity handicappers. They like to brag about their birdies and don't make a sound with bogies.
These are also the same people who when you hear their ball hit 3 trees in the woods, miraculously it appears on the fringe.
I take my lumps as the game gives them to me.
So when I play with this group and they want to brag about their game and score, put your money where your mouth is.
Shoot a legit round and let me call your BS because money is now on the line.
Otherwise when I go to call them out on it, they just say we are not playing "serious", but then they brag.

Cant have it both ways!

[rehmwa]

4 minutes ago, Elmer said:

Maybe I do, but only with a specific group of playing partners.
You have to understand that the group in question are all vanity handicappers. They like to brag about their birdies and don't make a sound with bogies.
These are also the same people who when you hear their ball hit 3 trees in the woods, miraculously it appears on the fringe.
I take my lumps as the game gives them to me.
So when I play with this group and they want to brag about their game and score, put your money where your mouth is.
Shoot a legit round and let me call your BS because money is now on the line.
Otherwise when I go to call them out on it, they just say we are not playing "serious", but then they brag.

Cant have it both ways!

I understand.  I don't agree, but it's not a biggie.

For me, I just chuckle and don't worry about it.  Since we aren't betting, I don't really care at all what they claim.  And, bonus, I don't ever have to wait for them to find their ball in the woods - since it miraculously appears on the fringe.  If they want to brag, I don't mind, maybe this is all they have going and the rest of their life sucks, and it doesn't hurt me one way or the other to smile and nod.

The only thing I do is subtle.  If I'm keeping score, I don't ask "What did you shoot?"....I ask "What do you want me to write down?"  .....     I get a chuckle and they don't seem to notice.

[chriswuk]

I don't play regularly at the minute but when I do play we usually have small bets while we are playing, rather than a bet on the outcome of the whole round.

So on the long par 5 we might have a long drive contest (has to land in fairway to count), or on some Par 3's we will have a closest to pin contest where the winner typically gets £5. By the end of the round it usually ends pretty even, and if someone does come out way ahead (By winning all contests) they will use the winnings to buy a round of drinks.

If someone was really pressing for bets all of the time it would really annoy me and I would be more inclined to refuse

[drmevo]

1 hour ago, Jeremie Boop said:

Happily I've never ran into this on the course. That said, I don't understand why it's "bad form" to not accept a press. Especially if you didn't even want to bet in the first place. It's like hearing "double or nothing man, give me a chance to win my money back" in the movies, all that makes me think is either the person is hustling or has a gambling problem.

Maybe this is getting too off-topic, but I'm with you - why is rejecting a press considered bad form?  If I've played great for 7 holes (say I've won 4 of the 7 played so far), why should I have to risk throwing it away over two holes or whatever?  It doesn't seem fair.  I have no problem with the option itself, but a forced bet is annoying.  

[Valleygolfer]

19 hours ago, dave s said:

I play on Saturdays with a group of 6 regulars.  We usually have 4 of 6 each Saturday morning.  This past Saturday one guy in the group wasn't going to let the group tee off until 'the bet' was decided.  Ok, it ended up being a $10 nassau.

After the first nine, my partner an I closed out the nine 3 up.  Guy who suggested bet was getting more irritated because we didn't accept his press. After 3 more holes on the back, we're up 5 and closed them out on the 15th hole.  Betting guy was getting so worked up over not playing well and carrying his partner that the back nine was flat-out not enjoyable ... except for the banter with my partner while we're beating 'em like rented mules.

Hearing stuff like "#%$%%, you never #$%! play like this when it's NOT for money, do you?" from the guy who insisted on a 'money game' made a really nice round for me, (shot 84) kind of unrewarding.

Honestly, I'd really just rather play golf, enjoy the company of friends and not have to feel bad about taking $30 from a friend.  I certainly don't need his money.  And losing $30 doesn't mean he'd have to skip a meal, either.

Why do some have to 'play for something' to make a round of golf fun?

dave

Well you should have probably accepted the press, I have played with guys that get pissed about presses. Those guys just picked on him more. If this guy was a "friend" I would have busted his balls on the spot for his behavior.

I do like playing for something as well. Pride, marbles or coin. It adds entertainment and I expect to lose whatever is on the line and I am okay with it. It is cheap entertainment.

@Dave s why didn't you tell him to stop being a dick?

[Fourputt]

19 hours ago, dave s said:

I play on Saturdays with a group of 6 regulars.  We usually have 4 of 6 each Saturday morning.  This past Saturday one guy in the group wasn't going to let the group tee off until 'the bet' was decided.  Ok, it ended up being a $10 nassau.

After the first nine, my partner an I closed out the nine 3 up.  Guy who suggested bet was getting more irritated because we didn't accept his press. After 3 more holes on the back, we're up 5 and closed them out on the 15th hole.  Betting guy was getting so worked up over not playing well and carrying his partner that the back nine was flat-out not enjoyable ... except for the banter with my partner while we're beating 'em like rented mules.

Hearing stuff like "#%$%%, you never #$%! play like this when it's NOT for money, do you?" from the guy who insisted on a 'money game' made a really nice round for me, (shot 84) kind of unrewarding.

Honestly, I'd really just rather play golf, enjoy the company of friends and not have to feel bad about taking $30 from a friend.  I certainly don't need his money.  And losing $30 doesn't mean he'd have to skip a meal, either.

Why do some have to 'play for something' to make a round of golf fun?

dave

I like to play for a small wager of some sort, but I won't play presses.  A straight wager is betting on one's self, on one's own game.  Pressing is just gambling and I won't do it.  I will make it plain up front that no matter what the wager, I don't press and I don't accept a press.  If they don't like that, tough.  I also only bet with friends, because my penny ante money games are more a way to keep score and bragging rights than they are to exchange much cash.

16 minutes ago, drmevo said:

Maybe this is getting too off-topic, but I'm with you - why is rejecting a press considered bad form?  If I've played great for 7 holes (say I've won 4 of the 7 played so far), why should I have to risk throwing it away over two holes or whatever?  It doesn't seem fair.  I have no problem with the option itself, but a forced bet is annoying.  

I agree that if they do want presses, it has to be optional.  I'm not going to mortgage the house to pay off a press when I was winning the bet straight up in the first place.

To those who say that they won't ever play for a wager, you are missing out.  It doesn't have to be for much either.  Some of the best fun I've had was playing dime skins, and dime greenies.  If you lose the absolute max, you lose $2.20, but it's amazing how much better it is to win $.30 than is it to just have a number on the card.  We give each other crap about stuff like "Remember that day when you lost $1.00... what f******* loser!" 

The Wednesday group I used to play with are big gamblers.  On a bad day I might lose $7 or $8. 

There's nothing wrong with a small wager among friends.  Just make sure that the rules are set on the first tee.

[DaveP043]

I'm another guy who likes to have a wager or two on the golf course.  The money changing hands at the end of the day is a symbol of winning or losing, and it doesn't have to be a lot of money.  In my normal group, I think the worst anyone can do is to lose $20, and winnings could be up to maybe $50 on a great day.  We've all been playing together for a while, and I'd bet the money basically evens out over time.

On the other hand, I'll refuse to play for an amount that makes me uncomfortable, and very rarely bet with someone I don't know.  I'm interested in a fair match for stakes that won't hurt either of us.  I'm also happy to play for the fun of the game, if that's the way things work out.  

[NJpatbee]

I enjoy an occasional friendly Nassau or Skins, but only with friends and with golfers of similar ability.  Sure we give and get strokes, but no one is giving more than a few strokes.  If the difference in handicap is too great, say like my 17 and a 4 HCP, I feel the odds are stacked against me.  Even more uncomfortable is if I beat the much better golfer playing with strokes, the resulting indignation of my opponent losing to a golfer of much less talent is not a good end to the day. 

In general I have no need to gamble since the game itself is challenging (especially at my level) and rewarding in and of itself.   But I do admit it can be fun to play for a few bucks with friends.

[Gunther]

8 hours ago, Fourputt said:

I like to play for a small wager of some sort, but I won't play presses.  A straight wager is betting on one's self, on one's own game.  Pressing is just gambling and I won't do it.  I will make it plain up front that no matter what the wager, I don't press and I don't accept a press.  If they don't like that, tough.  I also only bet with friends, because my penny ante money games are more a way to keep score and bragging rights than they are to exchange much cash.

I agree that if they do want presses, it has to be optional.  I'm not going to mortgage the house to pay off a press when I was winning the bet straight up in the first place.

To those who say that they won't ever play for a wager, you are missing out.  It doesn't have to be for much either.  Some of the best fun I've had was playing dime skins, and dime greenies.  If you lose the absolute max, you lose $2.20, but it's amazing how much better it is to win $.30 than is it to just have a number on the card.  We give each other crap about stuff like "Remember that day when you lost $1.00... what f******* loser!" 

The Wednesday group I used to play with are big gamblers.  On a bad day I might lose $7 or $8. 

There's nothing wrong with a small wager among friends.  Just make sure that the rules are set on the first tee.

I'm confused how you play presses.  If you're winning the game and the guy wants to press, that just means you lose your winnings if you lose from there, right?  Break even.  How would you lose the house if a guy pressed you?  Unless I've been doing it wrong?