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drmevo

Respect (Or Lack Thereof) for Singles/Walkers

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6 minutes ago, 3 Putt Bogey said:

Let me preface this by saying I realize that this approach isn't for everyone.  I am married with 1 & 3 year old daughters at home so I can't golf as much as I would like unless I make some sacrifices on my end.  I always ensure that I am the first one at the course... I beat the grounds crew.  Doing this a few times will allow you to get to know the staff. 

Now, I get to the course and start playing the instant it is bright enough outside to see my first tee shot.  I pay them in the clubhouse after my round.  It works out great; I get to play a lot of golf and I am done and home before my kids are even done with breakfast so I don't feel like I am being a bad father! haha

Good idea.  That is one way to do it. 

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On 7/30/2016 at 7:00 PM, gregsandiego said:

It's kind of like  a car driving 90 in the left lane flashing his lights because he wants to pass. Everyone has to disrupt their drive because of him.

Maybe singles should stick to empty or nearly empty courses.

Sorry, you're wrong there. You (or this driver) shouldn't be driving in the fast (passing lane). Period. If you are, then it is you that is disrupting the flow of traffic. If someone wants to drive 90mph that's their foolishness, but they're in the passing lane and no one should be driving in it. It's for passing.

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The issue is not the single. The issue is how the course manages singles. Rarely a single shows up asking to play solo, if they do, at the end of the line you go. . Perception of other players in the course on a single being an annoyance doesn't make sense.

As a single golfer, you have the right to play the course just like anyone else. If a foursome hits a Mulligan, who is to say that the single should not?  Single players should not be held at a higher standard nor should they be expected to accommodate others. Although common courtesy will dictate that the single adjust pace of play not to disrupt in a general sense the flow in the course.. 

Courses need to pair singles as much as possible, the problem is that MANY twosomes and threesomes want to play with their buddies only, or husband and wife and such. I cant begin to tell you how many times I have showed up to the course by myself hoping to get paired up and the course told me the pair in front did not want to be joined kind of thing. That is fine as I don't have to play with others but it just makes sense after all golf is a social activity. 

The folks at the front desk are there to manage the flow as players show up. They need to man up and pair singles and arrange groupings. 

When i play as a single, I try to be invisible and if I arrive to the next tee when the group in front are there, I try to stay a little out of their space, I don't want them to feel that I either want to push myself thru or joining them. Most of the times folks would ask...do you want o play thru?...I answer, only if you are comfortable with that, other ways I can stay back. If I am let thru I play fast and move on. 

I unfortunately can be quick to react and if I feel disrespected in anyway and I will let folks now in a matter of fact manner. 

When i am in a twosome or threesome with friends, if there is a single and the opportunity presents, I invite him/her in.  I don't think most people do.

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@Hategolf I wouldn't give my money to a club who took the liberty of pairing me with a stranger. Equally, if I'm playing with my pals, the last thing I want is a stranger joining our group. I don't see how it's any different to making dinner reservations with my friends; I wouldn't invite someone we didn't know to the table. 

I love playing as a single, I like that Singles are recognised as a group. A single on a mostly empty course should have the right to play through a foursome, but a single on a full or mostly full course is just a pain imo.

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58 minutes ago, Hazsa said:

@Hategolf I wouldn't give my money to a club who took the liberty of pairing me with a stranger. Equally, if I'm playing with my pals, the last thing I want is a stranger joining our group. I don't see how it's any different to making dinner reservations with my friends; I wouldn't invite someone we didn't know to the table. 

I love playing as a single, I like that Singles are recognised as a group. A single on a mostly empty course should have the right to play through a foursome, but a single on a full or mostly full course is just a pain imo.

That's an unfortunate attitude IMO. I enjoy playing alone as a single for what it is as well, but I also like meeting new people and I'd hate to think someone was that bothered by my presence in their group. It's rare but if I get that feeling I try to find a way out of the situation - jumping ahead, skipping holes, whatever makes sense. 

If the single isn't a jerk, what's the problem? I've met some good golf buddies as a single. Not to mention, some people have schedules or situations that don't allow them to play with friends or during the less-crowded times all that often. 

Edited by drmevo

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I have jokingly said that the only time I play is by myself or with somebody.

I used to do a lot of single , walk on's.  Never experienced any real problems, most of the time I would be paired up with  usually a twosome, sometimes I was able to go out alone. Met lots of nice folk, with the occasional "other", but did not let it bother me much.  When calling in for a tee time, I have never had a problem booking as a single, but more often than not, when I got there, the pro shop staff would inform me that I would be joining "so and so".  On the rare occasion that I got paired with somebody that proved to be an irritation, I would drop out at the turn make some excuse, and sometimes get back in three or four groups later if feasible, if not,,, call it a day.

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1 hour ago, Hazsa said:

@Hategolf I wouldn't give my money to a club who took the liberty of pairing me with a stranger. Equally, if I'm playing with my pals, the last thing I want is a stranger joining our group. I don't see how it's any different to making dinner reservations with my friends; I wouldn't invite someone we didn't know to the table. 

Bad analogy. It would be like riding a roller coaster where there's 4 seats in a row, but you and two other buds don't want to let a stranger sit in that open 4th seat.

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2 hours ago, Hazsa said:

@Hategolf I wouldn't give my money to a club who took the liberty of pairing me with a stranger. Equally, if I'm playing with my pals, the last thing I want is a stranger joining our group. I don't see how it's any different to making dinner reservations with my friends; I wouldn't invite someone we didn't know to the table. 

I love playing as a single, I like that Singles are recognised as a group. A single on a mostly empty course should have the right to play through a foursome, but a single on a full or mostly full course is just a pain imo.

I would say that dinner is a little more intimate. That is why I don't like restaurants that have the long picnic tables where other folks you never met can end up eating next to my wife and Yet I have being invited to dinner by friends to find someone I never met before was also invited.

To me Golf is a fun game. I would not want to be paired up with a group that does not want me there either, that is why course usually out of courtesy "ask" first. I just think they do not ask enough. 

When i play a PUBLIC course, I expect to mingle with the public weather I prefer it or not. I met great people in the course that I still have a friendship with because we either got paired up or I asked them to join my group during a round. I also do business in the golf course so I understand that sometimes you need a little privacy but that is a little different.

Here in the USA golf courses are closing down all the time, they need the business and they try to get as many players as they can. 

And to touch on your last line, Yes, a single on a full course can be a pain at no fault of their own, that is why we/they and the course should be open to pairings.  

 

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11 minutes ago, Hategolf said:

I would say that dinner is a little more intimate. That is why I don't like restaurants that have the long picnic tables where other folks you never met can end up eating next to my wife and Yet I have being invited to dinner by friends to find someone I never met before was also invited.

 

There is a golf course near Lake Tahoe that has a "Basque" (spelling?) restaurant where there are indeed long picnic like tables, and the meals are served "family" style with the different dishes being passed down the line. It felt strange a first, but ended up being quite enjoyable. It is between Topaz Lake and Carson City. Did not get to play golf there as this was with a group of "bikers". there were about fifty of us staying at the nearby lodge.

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8 hours ago, Vinsk said:

Sorry, you're wrong there. You (or this driver) shouldn't be driving in the fast (passing lane). Period. If you are, then it is you that is disrupting the flow of traffic. If someone wants to drive 90mph that's their foolishness, but they're in the passing lane and no one should be driving in it. It's for passing.

It's kind of cool you're answering this old post. But I can't tell if you are still addressing the metaphor or literally about driving on a freeway.

In any case I think we agree!

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At one course here the starter is so nice he gets worried if I play alone just in case I get a hole in one! I have rarely had any problems as a single. I play at whatever pace the course gives me. If the people ahead are slow I just wait and chill. Golf is stressful enough as it is. Sorry to hear about those rude people. They must be rude in life as well.

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9 hours ago, Hazsa said:

@Hategolf I wouldn't give my money to a club who took the liberty of pairing me with a stranger. Equally, if I'm playing with my pals, the last thing I want is a stranger joining our group. I don't see how it's any different to making dinner reservations with my friends; I wouldn't invite someone we didn't know to the table. 

That's the wrong attitude to have at nearly any public golf course during a busy time. If it's busy, you will get paired up with others if you don't have a full group, like it or not, because the course is not catering to you alone. They are trying to serve as many golfers as possible, and that means consolidating groups to allow for the most golfers to play. 

It's ok to be that way when it's slow, but when it's busy that won't fly at any course worth playing. 

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It's so fun to play with strangers. Most of them are great to play with and you learn so much by watching them.

Most public courses will pair you with strangers. After a while it's really fun!

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14 hours ago, drmevo said:

That's an unfortunate attitude IMO. I enjoy playing alone as a single for what it is as well, but I also like meeting new people and I'd hate to think someone was that bothered by my presence in their group. It's rare but if I get that feeling I try to find a way out of the situation - jumping ahead, skipping holes, whatever makes sense. 

If the single isn't a jerk, what's the problem? I've met some good golf buddies as a single. Not to mention, some people have schedules or situations that don't allow them to play with friends or during the less-crowded times all that often. 

I agree, that attitude is very unfortunate.  If I am playing with strangers, I like to feel that I am not bothering them at all.  I am a pretty good golfer and won't slow a group down.  I also will keep to myself if the strangers in the group are not talkative.  When I play as a single, I am either walking the course or I am playing in a golf cart with my girlfriend driving which means that the amount of interaction involves saying "nice shot", "nice putt" or helping find a lost ball.  It's funny that you find that it is a problem for singles to play with strangers.  Almost every time I play with a group I am the one always helping them find balls, and if my girlfriend is with me, she will be helping too.  The anti social behavior of denying another to play golf with you is ridiculous.  You are still with your friends and the only thing you have to do is acknowledge that another person is hitting a ball.  I have met all types of people on the course playing as a single and have enjoyed it.  If I couldn't play as a single, I wouldn't be as a good of a golfer as I am today.  It is rather difficult to pull a foursome together at 4 or 5 in the afternoon during a work week.  

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I can see where @Hazsa is coming from a little bit.  When I play with an old friend of mine, it is to spend time with my friend who I don't get to see a lot and almost never see without our SOs around.  So when a single or twosome catch up to us (doesn't happen unless we're waiting on the group in front of us) we will let them through instead of asking to join us. 

10 minutes ago, Nutsmacker said:

The anti social behavior of denying another to play golf with you is ridiculous. You are still with your friends and the only thing you have to do is acknowledge that another person is hitting a ball.

I would never consider it antisocial for not being invited to joins a group; maybe it's two sons and their dad having a birthday outing or old college friends who haven't seen each other in years.   It's more anti-social/rude in my opinion to invite someone to join your group and then essentially ignore them except to wait on their shot and maybe compliment it. I have joined groups like that because they felt obligated to invite me.  It was awful because you know that they don't want you there.  I'd much rather play through or just resign myself to a slow round.  

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3 minutes ago, krupa said:

I can see where @Hazsa is coming from a little bit.  When I play with an old friend of mine, it is to spend time with my friend who I don't get to see a lot and almost never see without our SOs around.  So when a single or twosome catch up to us (doesn't happen unless we're waiting on the group in front of us) we will let them through instead of asking to join us. 

I would never consider it antisocial for not being invited to joins a group; maybe it's two sons and their dad having a birthday outing or old college friends who haven't seen each other in years.   It's more anti-social/rude in my opinion to invite someone to join your group and then essentially ignore them except to wait on their shot and maybe compliment it. I have joined groups like that because they felt obligated to invite me.  It was awful because you know that they don't want you there.  I'd much rather play through or just resign myself to a slow round.  

I can understand that and if the course is open, by all means, offer the single to play through. However, if the course happens to be crowded and the only thing that makes sense is to put the single in a group, they shouldn't be made to feel like garbage (not that you're suggesting that). If it's such a special occasion that you can't be bothered by an outsider, book a foursome.

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1 minute ago, drmevo said:

I can understand that and if the course is open, by all means, offer the single to play through. However, if the course happens to be crowded and the only thing that makes sense is to put the single in a group, they shouldn't be made to feel like garbage (not that you're suggesting that). If it's such a special occasion that you can't be bothered by an outsider, book a foursome.

Yep.  That is what I thought the purpose of the thread was about.  I think that you hit the nail on the head.  When you are denied joining up and caught in between a twosome or threesome and a foursome behind you, you feel like a piece of garbage...when in fact you will being extremely minor in interrupting a group of friends out to play together.  As I mentioned, its not like you are exchanging spit with them.  All you really have to do is acknowledge that someone else is hitting.  

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I play about 75% of my golf solo and a majority of the solo rounds are walking. Around my area I can't think of a time I've been paired into a group as a single which is kind of odd. If I am let out into a crowded course I always ask the group behind to join in if it isn't a full group, I find it actually helps me play better because the waiting between shots doesn't seem as long. 

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