Respect (Or Lack Thereof) for Singles/Walkers

[krupa]

15 minutes ago, Nutsmacker said:

When you are denied joining up and caught in between a twosome or threesome and a foursome behind you, you feel like a piece of garbage...when in fact you will being extremely minor in interrupting a group of friends out to play together.

But when I am denied joining up and am caught between groups, I'm completely indifferent to the situation.  If you don't want me in your group, I certainly don't want to be there either.  If the foursome catches up to me at a tee and says something I just shrug and say, "the group in front doesn't want me to join them" and then I play-on.  I may even ask the foursome to join me.    But I certainly don't feel bad in any way. 

Alternately, if a group asks me to join them and then ignores me except to let me hit, I feel like a fifth wheel and would have rather played alone.

I have no idea where you play.  My course is extremely casual; maybe I'd feel different on a private, semi-private, or just more upscale course.

[Nutsmacker]

9 minutes ago, krupa said:

But when I am denied joining up and am caught between groups, I'm completely indifferent to the situation.  If you don't want me in your group, I certainly don't want to be there either.  If the foursome catches up to me at a tee and says something I just shrug and say, "the group in front doesn't want me to join them" and then I play-on.  I may even ask the foursome to join me.    But I certainly don't feel bad in any way. 

Alternately, if a group asks me to join them and then ignores me except to let me hit, I feel like a fifth wheel and would have rather played alone.

I have no idea where you play.  My course is extremely casual; maybe I'd feel different on a private, semi-private, or just more upscale course.

Well, I am not shedding tears about it.  I will just play along.  The courses I play at where this occurs are muni courses, but I live in DC Metro area so they are fairly crowded on a nice day in the afternoon.  It also might be that I am in the DC area and many people that live around here are arrogant aholes.  Haha.  

[RayG]

"...Who ever said that was the situation?.."

 

A way earlier post in the thread mentioned about being hit into because "they didn't see you" even though the pull cart was visible, etc...

But there was another thread in which someone complained that the course wouldn't let him play alone... on a full course. HE didn't wan't to play with anyone and felt he should be able to play through as if he was Moses because he was 'faster'. If that's how he felt, then the course should have charged for a foursome and he could hit FOUR balls all the way around. 

Only ONCE in my 40+ years of calling a course to get a time as a single was I asked if I wanted to play alone, and that it wouldn't happen. "Of course not, patch me in to an open slot". And once, and ONLY once was I told by the starter that the threesome he would have put me with didn't want an 'interloper' in their little group. So he put me out as a single and said to catch the 3some ahead of the 4 in front of me. He then rode out to tell that group AND the 3 to expect me. I caught the 4 at the next tee, we drove as a 5, I played my approach and shot up to finish out to not hold them up. Played the next hole and caught the 3 the hole after that. No problems.

Edited March 31, 2017 by RayG

[drmevo]

14 minutes ago, RayG said:

"...Who ever said that was the situation?.."

 

A way earlier post in the thread mentioned about being hit into because "they didn't see you" even though the pull cart was visible, etc...

But there was another thread in which someone complained that the course wouldn't let him play alone... on a full course. HE didn't wan't to play with anyone and felt he should be able to play through as if he was Moses because he was 'faster'. If that's how he felt, then the course should have charged for a foursome and he could hit FOUR balls all the way around. 

 

Um, are you talking about my OP?  Because I can assure you, I have never and would never hold up a foursome with open holes in front of me, and I don't know anyone who would.  It's also not what I said, and I don't find anyone else here that did say that. When I was talking about getting hit into, there were groups in front of me and I had nowhere to go.

I'm not sure what other thread you're referencing (link?). To come in to this thread and spout off about something that goes without saying as though someone is advocating it, though, is off-base. I'd suggest reading things more carefully next time.

[DaveP043]

35 minutes ago, RayG said:

"...Who ever said that was the situation?.."

A way earlier post in the thread mentioned about being hit into because "they didn't see you" even though the pull cart was visible, etc...

But there was another thread in which someone complained that the course wouldn't let him play alone... on a full course. HE didn't wan't to play with anyone and felt he should be able to play through as if he was Moses because he was 'faster'. If that's how he felt, then the course should have charged for a foursome and he could hit FOUR balls all the way around. 

 

7 minutes ago, drmevo said:

I'm not sure what other thread you're referencing (link?). To come in to this thread and spout off about something that goes without saying as though someone is advocating it, though, is off-base. I'd suggest reading things more carefully next time.

@RayG, this bit of confusion is easily avoided by using the Quote (or MultiQuote) button.  Do that, and everyone will understand exactly which previous post you're referring.  Now, back to the topic at hand...

[RayG]

10 minutes ago, drmevo said:

Um, are you talking about my OP?  Because I can assure you, I have never and would never hold up a foursome with open holes in front of me, and I don't know anyone who would.  It's also not what I said, and I don't find anyone else here that did say that. When I was talking about getting hit into, there were groups in front of me and I had nowhere to go.

I'm not sure what other thread you're referencing (link?). To come in to this thread and spout off about something that goes without saying as though someone is advocating it, though, is off-base. I'd suggest reading things more carefully next time.

Well, I was, and I wasn't, quoting you specifically, but there were a few mentions of that type of situation. Not casting aspersions on anyone... except THAT guy who would hold up a group as a single because he paid his fees just like anyone. And yes, I HAVE come across someone like that.

As for the link to the thread about the 'arrogant single'... I don't have time the weed through all of the threads about slow play, singles, etc... but it did stick in my head and how unpleasant it must be to play with, ahead of, or behind that guy.

[drmevo]

12 minutes ago, RayG said:

Well, I was, and I wasn't, quoting you specifically, but there were a few mentions of that type of situation. Not casting aspersions on anyone... except THAT guy who would hold up a group as a single because he paid his fees just like anyone. And yes, I HAVE come across someone like that.

As for the link to the thread about the 'arrogant single'... I don't have time the weed through all of the threads about slow play, singles, etc... but it did stick in my head and how unpleasant it must be to play with, ahead of, or behind that guy.

Well, then I guess we can agree that that type of single needs to adjust his or her attitude and behavior. I've never run into one, and hopefully I never do.

[parman]

I walk about 3 MPH which keeps me close to the group in front. I have played more than one ball at times because it's better than sitting there while my back cools off and stiffens up. I am never behind the group in front so it makes no difference. I seldom see starters anymore. The guys at the desk are nice but once on the course it's a free for all.  If someone hits into me I just hit it back the them. Marshals need to be hired to speed up the pace of play. 

[ghalfaire]

Well I read many of the comments and responses and though I'd add my WALKING SINGLE experience to mix.  I never walk more than 9 holes as I am chronologically advanced and just can't do 18 afoot anymore, especially here in the Mountains.  But my experiences seem to vary with the course and the folks you run into.  I belong to a private club and often walk 9 holes in the afternoon and usually single.  Since we can't turn in the scores anymore I use the time to practice and often will refuse an offer to play through unless I am bothering the group ahead of me.  One of the public courses I play some is very welcoming of singles but will pair you up with a short group if possible.  They will actually look at the tee sheet and schedule with a two or threesome if possible. You are welcome to walk but if your desire is to play single it isn't likely to happen unless you show very early or late. The other public course in this area isn't very welcoming of singles and will discourage you from showing up if you call to see how busy the course is.  If you do show up they will let you cool your heels awhile even though here are twosome and threesome teeing off.  Strange.  I don't go there often as you might imagine, but sometime it is the only option to working in the yard. 

As to  how the other golfers treat me while playing single, pretty well I'd say.  I have never been hit into to the best of my recollection.  Sometimes when the group in front of me ask if I would like to play through and I say no, I have been ask would I play through as I somehow bother them playing behind.  I always have complied with such requests.  So I like playing alone on occasion and it has mostly been good experiences.

[Nutsmacker]

Well, I am going to see how things go today.  I booked a tee time online with a twosome that I don't know.  I signed up as a single to join a specific group.   I have never tried it this way before, but all of this talk about respect for the single has made me want to collect some data on the treatment.  I purposely selected a tee time that is sandwiched between other foursomes so the twosome is going to have to let me play with them.  My other golf buddies are all out today and I am itching to play some golf.  Maybe I am being a jerk...but I want to see what the reaction is of the twosome that I have now purposely encroached on their tee time and I really want to play before the late afternoon.  

[drmevo]

1 hour ago, ghalfaire said:

Well I read many of the comments and responses and though I'd add my WALKING SINGLE experience to mix.  I never walk more than 9 holes as I am chronologically advanced and just can't do 18 afoot anymore, especially here in the Mountains.  But my experiences seem to vary with the course and the folks you run into.  I belong to a private club and often walk 9 holes in the afternoon and usually single.  Since we can't turn in the scores anymore I use the time to practice and often will refuse an offer to play through unless I am bothering the group ahead of me.  One of the public courses I play some is very welcoming of singles but will pair you up with a short group if possible.  They will actually look at the tee sheet and schedule with a two or threesome if possible. You are welcome to walk but if your desire is to play single it isn't likely to happen unless you show very early or late. The other public course in this area isn't very welcoming of singles and will discourage you from showing up if you call to see how busy the course is.  If you do show up they will let you cool your heels awhile even though here are twosome and threesome teeing off.  Strange.  I don't go there often as you might imagine, but sometime it is the only option to working in the yard. 

As to  how the other golfers treat me while playing single, pretty well I'd say.  I have never been hit into to the best of my recollection.  Sometimes when the group in front of me ask if I would like to play through and I say no, I have been ask would I play through as I somehow bother them playing behind.  I always have complied with such requests.  So I like playing alone on occasion and it has mostly been good experiences.

That's interesting different courses treat working in singles so differently. With the two courses I frequent, I will call ahead just to make sure there isn't a tournament or league going on. Now and then they'll tell me they're completely slammed so I'll call the other course.

Usually they just say come on down and we'll fit you in somewhere. Now that I think about it, I wonder if the person on the phone that tells me they're too busy thinks that when I say I'm a single, I'm asking if I can get out by myself. You'd think that no matter how busy, there are going to be some groups with fewer than four here and there. 

As to your last paragraph, it can be tricky trying to gauge the groups in front of you. A smile and wave when you get in close proximity go a long way in letting them know you're not trying to pressure them and open up communication on what they'd like to do. 

[colin007]

36 minutes ago, Nutsmacker said:

Well, I am going to see how things go today.  I booked a tee time online with a twosome that I don't know.  I signed up as a single to join a specific group.   I have never tried it this way before, but all of this talk about respect for the single has made me want to collect some data on the treatment.  I purposely selected a tee time that is sandwiched between other foursomes so the twosome is going to have to let me play with them.  My other golf buddies are all out today and I am itching to play some golf.  Maybe I am being a jerk...but I want to see what the reaction is of the twosome that I have now purposely encroached on their tee time and I really want to play before the late afternoon.  

I see no issue with that whatsoever. I often show up as a single and ask the starter to put me with a group of two or three.

[808hacker]

Wow, we got it good here. One of the courses you can play 9 walking from 10am. No problems - just walk in and go out when you can. Everyone plays with each other - the skill level is usually from 6 to 20 handicap - never had a problem playing there. Meeting good people there. I'll take it!

[Pretzel]

I almost always golf as a single and haven't really had issues. I'm happy to play either alone or with others. When playing alone I'll usually put some soft music on to listen to and keep myself entertained if I have to wait on groups ahead of me, and if I catch up to anyone and join them I'll turn it off. 

If I play with a group, I usually have no issues. I tend to pretty much do my own thing when I'm on the golf course, which could make me either an ideal single to join your group or a terrible one depending on how you look at it. If you're a person who wants to socialize with the person who's joining and learn more about them I'm not great, since I'll answer questions and such but am not much for a long conversation with strangers while golfing. If you're the person who just wants to spend time with their buddies though, I'm perfect since I'll just do my own thing as I go along.

[saevel25]

1 hour ago, Pretzel said:

I almost always golf as a single and haven't really had issues.

Same here. I had no issues. No one has complained about playing through. I had no issues at the first tee. 

[Loose Cannon]

About an hour of "fun" reading those 9 pages of posts.  Lots of really different experiences and opinions.  But, that's life.

For many years, I traveled a multi-state area.  Took my clubs and would play many different courses.  I always asked to be paired with others, rather than play as a single.  Having someone to point out the nuances of a course certainly enhanced the experience.  And, met lots of super friendly people.  During those "young years" ,I was not my own best company on a golf course.  Could get really disgusted with myself.  Being with others, let the bad shots be easily forgotten and made looking forward to the next more fun.

In all the years of being paired with others, can only remember one bad experience.  Two of us had called for, and had been given a tee time at a public course.  Upon arriving and checking in, was told we would be playing with another two.  Great!  Checked in with starter and he said the other two had gone on down to the #1 tee.  We got to the tee, pulled our drivers, and walked up on the box.  One of the guys asked what the H*ll we thought we were doing.  I told  him the starter sent us down and told us we would be joining them.  He went into a tirade, saying that it was "their" tee time, they were not going to have their afternoon ruined by sharing it.  Hmmm....  We drove back to the starter and told him of the problem.  The starter came out of his shack, jumped on a cart, and headed to the tee box.  We heard some loud "discussion".  Pretty soon, all three came back.  The starter returned to his shack and the two guys continued towards the clubhouse.  The starter said, "Looks like your two friends have decided their egos are too large for this course.  I apologize, but you will have to play as a two.  Have a great round!" 

The past 15 years, I've belonged to a local course and play with our "group".  Now retired, have a 'weekday group' and a 'weekend group'.  Yes, a 70+ year old body can play 7 days/week!!!  Both groups have our solid core of guys.  We can see numerous others rotate in and out depending on work, vacations, illness, etc.  Both groups usually have two tee times reserved as we can vary from 4 or 5 to 8 or 10 on any given day. 

This Great Game is much too fun and the ability to enjoy it with excellent companionship is something we all should be thankful for.  Whether a full group or a single, if every person would simply try to make the Game enjoyable for ALL they have the opportunity to interact with on the course, life would be so much easier.

[boogielicious]

19 hours ago, colin007 said:

I see no issue with that whatsoever. I often show up as a single and ask the starter to put me with a group of two or three.

Me too. I've met lots of nice people that way. 

[Hazsa]

On 3/31/2017 at 0:04 AM, drmevo said:

That's an unfortunate attitude IMO. I enjoy playing alone as a single for what it is as well, but I also like meeting new people and I'd hate to think someone was that bothered by my presence in their group. It's rare but if I get that feeling I try to find a way out of the situation - jumping ahead, skipping holes, whatever makes sense. 

If the single isn't a jerk, what's the problem? I've met some good golf buddies as a single. Not to mention, some people have schedules or situations that don't allow them to play with friends or during the less-crowded times all that often. 

The problem is that I have a busy schedule. The only time I see these particular friends is at golf, once or twice a month if I'm lucky. I think it's perfectly reasonable to want to enjoy that by ourselves.

 

On 3/31/2017 at 0:13 AM, Hacker James said:

 

I used to do a lot of single , walk on's.  Never experienced any real problems, most of the time I would be paired up with  usually a twosome, sometimes I was able to go out alone. Met lots of nice folk, with the occasional "other", but did not let it bother me much.  When calling in for a tee time, I have never had a problem booking as a single, but more often than not, when I got there, the pro shop staff would inform me that I would be joining "so and so".  On the rare occasion that I got paired with somebody that proved to be an irritation, I would drop out at the turn make some excuse, and sometimes get back in three or four groups later if feasible, if not,,, call it a day.

Can't speak definitively, but there seems to be an entirely different culture in the UK to the US. Not once in all my years playing at all the clubs I've played have I been paired with others by the club.

On 3/31/2017 at 0:28 AM, colin007 said:

Bad analogy. It would be like riding a roller coaster where there's 4 seats in a row, but you and two other buds don't want to let a stranger sit in that open 4th seat.

Maybe if it were a 4 hour meandering roller coaster with conversation 

On 3/31/2017 at 2:03 AM, Hategolf said:

I would say that dinner is a little more intimate. That is why I don't like restaurants that have the long picnic tables where other folks you never met can end up eating next to my wife and Yet I have being invited to dinner by friends to find someone I never met before was also invited.

To me Golf is a fun game. I would not want to be paired up with a group that does not want me there either, that is why course usually out of courtesy "ask" first. I just think they do not ask enough. 

When i play a PUBLIC course, I expect to mingle with the public weather I prefer it or not. I met great people in the course that I still have a friendship with because we either got paired up or I asked them to join my group during a round. I also do business in the golf course so I understand that sometimes you need a little privacy but that is a little different.

Here in the USA golf courses are closing down all the time, they need the business and they try to get as many players as they can. 

And to touch on your last line, Yes, a single on a full course can be a pain at no fault of their own, that is why we/they and the course should be open to pairings.  

 

 

On 3/31/2017 at 9:03 AM, Pretzel said:

That's the wrong attitude to have at nearly any public golf course during a busy time. If it's busy, you will get paired up with others if you don't have a full group, like it or not, because the course is not catering to you alone. They are trying to serve as many golfers as possible, and that means consolidating groups to allow for the most golfers to play. 

It's ok to be that way when it's slow, but when it's busy that won't fly at any course worth playing. 

In your opinion... Again, I've played at dozens of courses here (some worth playing more than others) and have never been dictated to by the club on who I should play with.

On 3/31/2017 at 9:47 AM, 808hacker said:

It's so fun to play with strangers. Most of them are great to play with and you learn so much by watching them.

Most public courses will pair you with strangers. After a while it's really fun!

Don't get me wrong, I don't hate playing with strangers. If I'm playing in club comps I enjoy playing with new people, I've made a couple of friends that way. But, if I've arranged to play with friends that's what I expect.

On 3/31/2017 at 2:53 PM, Nutsmacker said:

I agree, that attitude is very unfortunate.  If I am playing with strangers, I like to feel that I am not bothering them at all.  I am a pretty good golfer and won't slow a group down.  I also will keep to myself if the strangers in the group are not talkative.  When I play as a single, I am either walking the course or I am playing in a golf cart with my girlfriend driving which means that the amount of interaction involves saying "nice shot", "nice putt" or helping find a lost ball.  It's funny that you find that it is a problem for singles to play with strangers.  Almost every time I play with a group I am the one always helping them find balls, and if my girlfriend is with me, she will be helping too.  The anti social behavior of denying another to play golf with you is ridiculous.  You are still with your friends and the only thing you have to do is acknowledge that another person is hitting a ball.  I have met all types of people on the course playing as a single and have enjoyed it.  If I couldn't play as a single, I wouldn't be as a good of a golfer as I am today.  It is rather difficult to pull a foursome together at 4 or 5 in the afternoon during a work week.  

What a ridiculous use of the word 'antisocial'. I'm perfectly pleasant, courteous, and conversational with other golfers in and around the club and on the course.

i probably play half of my golf as a single during weekday afternoons and have never felt the need to join a group.

On 3/31/2017 at 3:25 PM, drmevo said:

I can understand that and if the course is open, by all means, offer the single to play through. However, if the course happens to be crowded and the only thing that makes sense is to put the single in a group, they shouldn't be made to feel like garbage (not that you're suggesting that). If it's such a special occasion that you can't be bothered by an outsider, book a foursome.

It's hard to argue with anything in this comment.

Id just say again, that there seems to be a slightly different golf culture here to over there. You just don't seem to get singles playing during peak times in the U.K, not that I've seen anyway.