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pyrodactyl

Hole-in-One remorse. Am I nuts?

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Early last summer I got my first hole-in-one at a local seniors tournament. It was a well struck ball that did not fade like I wanted but hit a banked slope just off the green and rolled about 15' onto the green and in the hole. KP hole also. Celebration ensued, there were over 100 people in the tourney and everyone wanted to shake my hand and drink my beer. (Had bought hole-in-one insurance for $1 for the tournament so I came out ahead even after opening the bar to all). Anyway this obviously made my day and I had a glow and spring to my step for hours afterwards. I then realized that it was incredibly rare that I would have such a feeling of well being. That is when my evil subbrain took over and I thought 'My God, I haven't helped anyone, or made the world a better place, what right do I  have to feel good about something that was basically unearned  and  almost completely luck. I had dark guilt thoughts for a while (I was not brought up in a guilt encouraging religious environment). After a while I turned it around and  I thought about how I struggled for a long time to overcome thoughts of personal inadequacy low esteem because due to crappy golf play. Maybe this was some kind of Zen lesson in avoiding the pitfalls of crazy roller coaster golf. Maybe success and failure at golf need to both be taken in perspective. Some people say I'm nuts and should just roll with the buzz. I don't know.

Edited by pyrodactyl

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Well, congrats on the hole in one!

Sorry to hear that it is messing with your head now though. Mind is a crazy thing, sometimes. One of my "things" is this guilt trip that society tries to put on us all that we need to be constantly helping others, helping the environment, or just otherwise constantly volunteering for the welfare of someone else. 

That's simply not healthy to live like that. Yes, we should each be good people. We should endeavor to do altruistic things for the community. But the weight of the world is not on our shoulders to be doing that 100% of the time. We must make time for ourselves in order to be truly healthy and positive people.

I'm firmly with your friends on this one. You owe it to yourself to take care of yourself with "selfish" hobbies. That rejuvenates you to be a better person, who can then give back to the world. If you add guilt that you're not doing enough for people, that is self-defeating. You lose, and your giving back to the world suffers because you are doing it out of guilt- not out of true altruism.

 

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Congratulations on the hole in one.  I agree with your friends that you are over thinking on this situation.

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I don't mean this in a bad way, but you need to lighten up. Your time on the course should be an escape from real life. You get enough bad breaks in golf and life, and when you get a good break, you should celebrate. An ace is a good thing. Enjoy it for what it is.

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Congrats on that hole in one. and I agree with RandallT, society guilt is prevalent. Ignore that.

I believe I am allowed to give you full authority to enjoy that hole in one, without any form of guilt or expectation say to volunteer for the next 3.32 years to pay society back

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Hole in ones are special. You should have enjoyed it for what it was worth. The rest of the world would have been just fine while you enjoyed your accomplishment. 

In my national park volunteer activities, I help other folks all the time. I sometimes clean up litter some of these other people have left. I help them with their questions. I help them understand their RVs a little better. The thing is, none of this good will stuff has anything to do with my golf game, or my other hobbies. Nothing what so ever.

My hobbies are for me, and sometimes others's enjoyment. Besides, I am quite sure my own golf game, and other hobbies are not going to save the world. 

It is my opinion that everday, normal folks make the world a better place just by doing their every day routine, and staying out of trouble. 

 

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Screw guilt !  And I'm sure as heck not buying everyone on the course a drink. The guys in my foursome yes! 

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I agree with others.  Your life is your life.  Your sole responsibility in it is to LIVE it.  

Golf brings me joy (mostly).  Vacationing brings me joy.  Hanging out with friends brings me joy.  I do these things because it's part of my life.  I'm doing my part by living my life.  

As for any 'debt' to society I may have... I'm a good person.  I'm not out there selling drugs, beating women or children, robbing banks or anything else negative.  I help out when and how I can... I pay my taxes and keep my property clean... and above all else, I'm raising 3 kids to be upstanding members of our society as well.  

You don't owe a debt to society and there's CERTAINLY no reason you should feel down on yourself for being able to tell your story when someone asks if you've got a hole in one.  

Congrats on the shot!  Enjoy it!

CY

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pyrodacytyl - you have made me feel better just reading your story and knowing that there is still hope that I will get a hole-in-one. I've been playing for 40+ years and I'm still waiting.

You've given me hope, so you've got that going for you (it's not like caddying for the Dalai Lama, so you can still strive for that one)

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Congratulations. You are waaaayyyy over thinking this. Lighten up. 

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Agree...Don't over think it. Golf is the most spiritual of all games. I can hit a shot perfectly that impossibly bounces right! Right in a trap! Or I can mishit a shot that hits a tree and rolls on the green. Golf thus teaches me both the humble lesson that I am not in control and the joyful lesson of gratitude for good things that come my way unnannounced and unexpected. In your case, joyful gratitude is called for, not worry about whether you deserved it, don't you think?  -Marv

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After I shot my only 'Hole In One', I did not celebrate, I did not buy drinks for anyone, I never even made this singular accomplishment public. I think I have misplaced the ball. Yes, my foursome was quite impressed.

I was surprised that it happened, because it was an uphill, 150ish Par 3 and we could not see the ball go into the hole. I knew I hit it close to the hole, but could not find it anywhere on the green, and there it was - in the hole. The last place we expected to find my ball. :)

And I'm looking forward to my next one. I'm not buying drinks for everyone.

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Thanks to all for the congrats and advice. Pretty much unanimous that I went kinda nuts and need to dial down the brain a bit, much like right before I swing. I think the best advice was to feel good about providing beer to other seniors whether they need it or not. I think buying drinks is one of the fine golf traditions that should be upheld within reason. I do think that golf is capable of providing lessons and benefits aside from exercise, camaraderie, and proficiency at manipulating physical objects through practice and craft. This was an unexpected mind trip that gave me some insights to putting things in perspective in golf and life. I promise I will fully enjoy my next ace.

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Note: This thread is 1275 days old. We appreciate that you found this thread instead of starting a new one, but if you plan to post here please make sure it's still relevant. If not, please start a new topic. Thank you!

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