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Davie81

Lost the love

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Hit a slump in the game last month and decided to take a break for a bit. Went to the range tonight to hit a few and get back into it but stopped early as I couldn't be bothered to finish the basket and don't know when I'll be playing next. Actually thinking do I want to play again which I hope is nonsense as I've loved it since starting out 6 years ago and it quickly became an addiction. Any tips on how to get the love back for the game?

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Are other life events and demands starting to encroach on golf?

If so, you might want to take a break, take care of distractions, and then start again in the spring.

Most of the seniors I play golf with are retired. Frank, my unofficial life coach, says work interferes too much lately with my golf. He thinks I should retire! (But, I need a bit more savings first).

I set aside golf a couple of times in my life. Once for nine months, the other for about two years. I knew I was going to be busy, and couldn't work on my game, so to avoid frustration I put the clubs away awhile.

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1 hour ago, Davie81 said:

Hit a slump in the game last month and decided to take a break for a bit. Went to the range tonight to hit a few and get back into it but stopped early as I couldn't be bothered to finish the basket and don't know when I'll be playing next. Actually thinking do I want to play again which I hope is nonsense as I've loved it since starting out 6 years ago and it quickly became an addiction. Any tips on how to get the love back for the game?

Sorry to hear that, sorta. I mean, maybe golf isn't for you anymore.

How compelled were you to go to the range after a month away?

You may be able to answer your own questions.

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2 hours ago, Davie81 said:

Hit a slump in the game last month and decided to take a break for a bit. Went to the range tonight to hit a few and get back into it but stopped early as I couldn't be bothered to finish the basket and don't know when I'll be playing next. Actually thinking do I want to play again which I hope is nonsense as I've loved it since starting out 6 years ago and it quickly became an addiction. Any tips on how to get the love back for the game?

What did you enjoy about the game before?  It may not end up one day being what you thought it was or now think it is.  Two years away from the game for me changed what I enjoy about it.  I am in a slump as well.  I have not been able to break 80 since some time in July.  This would have really bothered me before, but not so much these days.  I used to live and die by my score.  I now mainly enjoy playing different courses, with different people.  You may need to change the value you place in what parts of the game give you your enjoyment is what I am getting at.

Edited by cipher

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I'm of similar opinion with @iacas.  Not sure anybody can decide this but yourself. You either do, or you do not.

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My layoff was forced. I used that time to immerse myself again in the history and spirituality of this great sport (and some older instruction books by Nicklaus, etc.). Re-read the golf humor of Wodehouse and others. Found the older "mental tips" books and studied those too. That brought a depth of appreciation that has stayed with me as I struggle to come back. Davie81, maybe you see the game as mechanical and need to develop the same appreciation for the game as sport, philosophy, spirit, comradeship and fun as well as just a physical competition. Just a thought. -Marv

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@Davie81 You mentioned a slump.  Is that you're frustration with the game vs. not enjoying the game itself?

We "play" this game for enjoyment.  "Play" should be fun.  Maybe focus on the enjoyment of the game for a bit (if you are able to) vs. where your scores wind up.  A refreshed perspective can sometimes do wonders (and inadvertently result in some better scores as well).

Edited by Denny Bang Bang

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I have a buddy who seems to go through this every year about this time.  Like clockwork, he makes mention of how the game is becoming a chore, it's no fun, etc.  I tell him to step away for a bit.  Usually, a break of a few days, weeks or months rekindles the passion.  

Like that old saying... "if you love someone, let them go"... if they return, blah, blah, blah.  It's kinda the same here.  Step away.  If the love for the game returns... great.  If not... there are many other things you can turn your attention to.  

Forcing it will result in more frustration.  

CY

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Early in the year, I was in a funk, couldn't seem to break 100. Really focusing on my score, hole by hole, keeping track of FIR, GIR. 

Drove me nuts.

Decided to stop tracking. No checking score until the end. Looked through my bag, Took out all but one hybrid, one wood and  wedge. Stopped hitting driver on the range, started going to the putting range.

Now I just concentrate on the shot in front of me, the course I am on, the folks I'm with. 

Started enjoying the experience. In the big picture, my score doesn't matter. I play one fund raiser a year. At my handicap (+ 20), age (64) I'm not going on tour. 

Since Aug 1-I've only shot between 85-95. Go figure.

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@Davie81 As the other posters have mentioned see what drives you to play golf.

Is it to reach some level that you now feel unattainable or are you happy to just play for the social aspect that a 4ball would provide.

Are you preoccupied with the shots outcome to enjoy the course and the health benefit’s associated with fresh air, green grass etc instead replacing the good points with frustration.

I read this last year when I was always struggling to hit first tee shot in front of people, may or may not be relevant.

“Most of us intuitively know that we regularly mistake our golf shots with our selves. If our golf shots are poor, our self-esteem drops, even if for a moment, despite our conscious mantra "It's only a game." Our conscious minds know that this is how we should feel, but our unconscious minds don't buy it. It's hard to feel that it's "only a game" when we're in a bunker, trying to hit a high soft one onto the green, and instead skull the ball 50 yards into the woods. “Michael Bader, D.M.H

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15 hours ago, Davie81 said:

Hit a slump in the game last month and decided to take a break for a bit. Went to the range tonight to hit a few and get back into it but stopped early as I couldn't be bothered to finish the basket and don't know when I'll be playing next. Actually thinking do I want to play again which I hope is nonsense as I've loved it since starting out 6 years ago and it quickly became an addiction. Any tips on how to get the love back for the game?

Out of curiosity, how long a break did you take?

Probably for a lot of people, it comes down to alternatives. Is there something else I'd rather do with my day? As frustrating as my game tends to be, the answer is no more often than not, There are still times where I won't touch a club for a week solid.  

Then again, the winter tends to enforce some long breaks on us here in Ohio whether we like it or not. Those clubs always look good when the white death melts.

 

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About a year ago, I was fortunate enough to have sold a business and have the financial resources to allow me to not have to go to work 8 hours a day. I had always told myself if I were ever in this situation it would be heaven because I would play golf every day of the week. Well, heaven lasted about 3 weeks (and it only lasted that long because I was able to take my 3 year old daughter with me every day and spending time with her was great) and I realized golf was really not much fun if I was "trying" to do it. It did sorta start feeling like a grind. 

Fast forward 12 months and now I am playing less than I did a year ago, but I am honestly enjoying it more. What changed, I can't explain it. I still want to improve, I still want to shoot a lower number (and failing most of the time), but I think 100% of it is in my head. I set out now to have an enjoyable day on the links, not just going because "I have to" if that makes sense.

Hope you find that love again @Davie81 

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Life is full of ebbs and flows.  If you don't enjoy something stop doing it.  Find something else.

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About 10 years ago I had a lot going on personally and my golf game had become an embarrassment.  I was never a good golfer but could keep pace and shoot in the mid 80s to mid 90s - I was happy.  I am not certain if it was my other distractions or not, but I played very little golf for a couple of years.  For myself, I have another passion in fly tying and fly fishing for trout which I have done for over 40 years.  I immersed myself into my other passion and was content.  I did play in the occasional golf outing or 9 holes on an executive course and at one point I started to hit the ball well (for me) and the bug bit me again.  If you need a break take it and it does not have to be permanent but don't force it.  There are many great activities and interests to follow and it is no crime if golf is not one of them.  Good luck to you.

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I quit for a year and a bit because I hit a ceiling. Eventually came back because was determined to figure out the game and made concerted efforts to "figure things out" better and more objectively. So now, it's not really a handicap goal, or getting out for exercise, or playing different courses but more of a intellectual/physical puzzle to be solved. In that context, the game is a different animal to me. Maybe a change in context might help?

This is golf:

 

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Take a break. It's easy to get tired or bored of something, even something you really enjoy.

 

After a few weeks/months, you may feel the fire again and want to play. You may not. If you don't, I'd still encourage you to try it out anyways and see how you feel after. For me, after extended breaks (winter) I usually don't feel that passionate about playing. But once I force myself to get out there, it comes right back without fail.

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3 hours ago, mcanadiens said:

Out of curiosity, how long a break did you take?

He said "Hit a slump in the game last month…" so you kind of have an idea how long a break he took, no? :-)

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