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Help Breaking Into the Golf Scene


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Hi - my husband and I are both recently retired and both trying to get to grips with golf.  There are several clubs nearby that do ladies group lessons for beginners, so I'm ok in that regard. However there's nothing similar for men - despite lots of people you talk to saying what a good idea it would be. My husband is not especially outgoing or confident and so is really struggling to find other beginners to play and practise with.  He knows other men who have played for decades and who are willing to give him the odd game - but that's not what he wants or needs. Anyone got any tips one how we can get him some golf buddies (before he gets fed up and gives up on it)?

Edited by Sueisablade
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He's going to have to step out of his comfort zone. Unfortunately, there is really no way to avoid that. Best bet is to find a way to ease into it.

If there aren't group classes, find an instructor for one-on-one training. These guys have seen it all and are going to have the best success in helping both your husband and yourself gain some confidence and a comfort level.

I know all too well the anxiety of a 'beginner'. You're worried about looking stupid, being made fun of, not having the right (fanciest) equipment, etc.

I can still remember the anxiety I had to deal with the first time I golfed with a foursome, three of which were (what I would consider) excellent and experienced golfers. Then there was me hacking up the place, chunking or topping everything, and slicing my drives two fairways over. It was overwhelming and I played very poorly because (1) I stunk and (2) I was in my own head.

It definitely helps if you have a 'beginner' to work out some of the kinks with. Sounds to me like he has one. YOU.

Edited by SPJr
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34 minutes ago, Sueisablade said:

Anyone got any tips one how we can get him some golf buddies (before he gets fed up and gives up on it)?

Try to find a league that is around his playing ability. Then he will feel like he stands out less. I know very outgoing people who will not join a golf league I am in because they are horrible at golf. They love to go out with a small group of friends during the summer.

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25 minutes ago, Sueisablade said:

Hi - my husband and I are both recently retired and both trying to get to grips with golf.  There are several clubs nearby that do ladies group lessons for beginners

We have several members/couples/retired who are beginners, And now that you mention it, we do not have a beginner class for men.
You could ask those clubs if couples are welcome? I'm sure they would welcome your husband to join in the lessons with the ladies.

Our course has Family Tees which the beginners utilized for learning.
I see the new couples play them often late in the afternoon or on days when the course is not busy.

My suggestion is to ease into the learning process of hitting the golf ball and do not expect it to be natural or easy.
Once you become comfortable swinging and making contact where you can hit a shot forward, then ease onto the course and start
close to the green (100 yards) and play 5 holes. As you become better, play 9 and move back to 150 yards to start and continue moving
back to the 200 yard.

Then if your interest is still growing and you commit to play regularly, try an Executive Course or Forward tees at the club or course.

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Thankyou all for being kind enough to offer advice. I should clarify a few points (didn't want to write an essay).  

He is having lessons - and when he's in the swing of it (pun intended :-)) he can hit it really well (unlike me - I'm so jealous!). And we have been out and done 9 holes together a few times - sometimes this has gone well, but the last time he couldn't strike the ball to save his life, and we gave up after 5 holes. And sometimes he comes back from the driving range very depressed cos he just couldn't hit it cleanly - other times it's fine. I know golf is a game of inconsistency but now he's reluctant to go out on the course incase he has another nightmare. He's way to self-conscious and there's no reasoning with him.  I just feel what he needs is a small group of similar beginners - sometimes ok, sometimes useless - to share the learner stage with. It's so frustrating that clubs don't seem to want to help in this regard, though it would be to their benefit in the long run. Maybe I'll advertise in the lonely hearts on his behalf.

I guess there really is no easy answer - but thanks again for your input.

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A couple hours with a teaching pro will go a long way for a beginner. Trying to learn the game without one can be very frustrating. 

When you do play, just play one hole at a time. If you hit a couple consecutive bad shots on a hole pick up and cheer on the others successes while you mentally reset. 9 holes give you nine opportunities and all you need is one good hole to get golf itch. 

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It's all about attitude and what you want to get out of the game.  Me, I just enjoy getting out and trying to have fun.  There are days I do well, and other days that I pretty much struggle the whole time.  I celebrate the good hits and when thing go well, and put the bad stuff behind me.  I will never get to be a tournament player and don't really want to be.  Just enjoy being outside and know that as long as I try to do my best, it'll be a good day.  Even the tour pros have really bad days........ 

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  • iacas changed the title to Help Breaking Into the Golf Scene

Being an insecure, beginning golfer is something I remember well. It was only a few years ago for me.

Finding the best courses to play can take some trial and error. After a few humbling experiences on my area's bigger-name courses, I mainly stuck to a par-3 course and a short regulation course for most of my first year. Quickly, I discovered that most of the guys out there weren't much better than I am.

Depending on your area, have him check out those par-3 and the shorter courses. He'll probably find a lot of golfers just like himself.

Edited by iacas
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On 3/26/2019 at 9:20 AM, Sueisablade said:

He's way to self-conscious and there's no reasoning with him. 

He really needs to understand that golf is hard. He’s expected to be awful. He just needs to relax and try to make the next shot better. 

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Note: This thread is 850 days old. We appreciate that you found this thread instead of starting a new one, but if you plan to post here please make sure it's still relevant. If not, please start a new topic. Thank you!

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