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Handicap Index

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  1. Hello everyone I just Officially Joined although I have been coming here to Read Reviews on Everything from Equipment to Course Reviews and have Always found this Community of Loyal/Dedicated Members to be Insightful & Honest! SO THANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHOM TAKES TIME OUT OF YOUR BUSY DAY/LIVES TO RESPOND TO ANYONE'S QUESTIONS ON HERE NOT JUST MINE I TRULY WANT TO SAY THANK YOU! THANK YOU TO THOSE WHOM WORK SO HARD THAT IT ALLOWS "YOU GOLFERS" AS I AM COMMONLY DUBED....A PLACE TO BE ABLE TO GROW OUR GAMES & KNOWLEDGE! IT TRULY MEANS A LOT! GOLF SAVED MY LIFE!!!!!!! I EBDURED A PERSONAL TRAGEDY; WHEN ON AUGUST 25th......WOW It has Almost been 2 Years Ago that MY Beautiful 4 Month Old Little Boy....."Beckett Scout" passed away from S.I.D.S. I believe we all know someone that has experienced losing a child to SIDS and/or Maybe you have Intimately Experienced such a Loss Personally Either Way.......I may Not Know You but I Love You, Because when you Experience something that No PARENT SHOULD EVER ENDURE YOU FIND THAT YOU NOW BELONG TO A VERY SPECIAL FRATERNITY That NOBODY wants to a MEMBER of....!!! I Played Baseball all MY LIFE went to a Small JuCo School until I Broke My Right Tib/Fib....I was Depressed and My best Friend at the Time was Playing Golf at Cumberland University in Lebanon, TN....He could see that I was Pretty Depressed and so he suggested ( you know how we all have that one friend that you know you shouldn't listen to but you do and maybe its cost you girl friends, cars, jobs, SANITY not that I have Experienced that first hand or anything) "COME PLAY GOLF" he says: My being the BAFFUUN that I am Says: "I MEAN HOW HARD CAN IT BE"......I have said A LOT of Dumb things in My Life my Ex can Attest to this but this has had to have been at that Time #1 and to this day Top 5.....So I decided one day to Meet him at a Driving Range for ABSOLUTELY NO OTHER REASON THAN TO PROVE HIM WRONG! You Know we are All: LEGENDS IN OUR OWN MINDS...👑 Fast Forward to September around the Last Week a Month After My Son had Passed Away when My Dad Asked if I would Join His Boss and Himself in a 4 Man Scramble at the Course in Dickson, TN.....GREYSTONE Now at that Time I was GOING CRAZY LITERALLY AN EMOTIONAL ROLLER COASTER and Most Days DID NOT WANT THE SUN TO COME UP THE NEXT MORNING , but Wasn't Going to Do Anything About It Either (I am just being Open & honest please dont judge me for my feelings I was in a Lonely Sad Sad Place) Now I have played that Course before and Know that it Can Get Ugly there Pretty Quickly....And You know how life happens you get older and you get A Lot more RESPONSIBILITIES and So Golf wasn't put just on the Back Burner at this Point it wasn't EVEN READY TO COOK...My Old Man though being the Stubborn Ole Mule he is Persisted that I PLAY......(side note: My Dad's Boss is Also My Ex Brother-In-Law I Promise!!!! I couldn't Make this Up if I Tried) Let's just Say that Me and Him haven't Always Seen Eye to Eye & thats Probably Putting it Nicely but We Both Could Agree on ONE THING ALWAYS.....WE BOTH LOVED ⛳!!! Now I ask that "ONE FRIEND" and at this Point he was Barely Playing Anymore if At All if he Would Join Me and SO IF NOTHING ELSE.....I AT LEAST HAVE ANOTHER BAFFUUN RIDING AROUND WITH ME ALL DAY LOOKING STUPID....Well we Ended up Shooting around -19 Under which was Good Enough for 3rd Place $150 Dollars and a "Travis Mathews" Pull Over! My Old Cleveland Classic Driver saw More Air that Day than a Boeing 747 Leaving LaGuardia....I CAN REMEMBER just what An AMAZING TIME I HAD....I FELT BOTH HAPPY & GUILTY at the Same Time! Guilt you May Ask....Why Guilty and Being Honest because I hadn't Smiled in A Month so I honestly thought I didn't Need to Enjoy Life Anymore that it was Meant to be Mean & Hard.....I vividly remember not only was that the Only Time I Had Smiled Since Losing "Beckett" but Also I hadn't REALLY thought About that Horrible Morning for the Past 5+ Hours and that was Amazing! At that POINT I was having NIGHTMARES OF THAT MORNING AND RELIVING IT OVER AND OVER AGAIN & That was On a Good Day When I could Actually Sleep....I lost 40lbs Because I Couldn't Eat or Sleep for the Fear I would Lose One of My Daughters....So From That Day FORWARD when I was Crying 😢 I would Go Hit Golf Balls when I was Mad and Hated the 🌎 I would Go Hit Golf Balls and For Every other Crazy Emotion I experienced I would Go Hit Golf Balls for Hours and Hours Until I had Blisters on My Hands I had My Girl bring Me Athletic Tape and Some Stretchable Foam Like Padding & Taped My Hands Up and Kept Going.....Well I started To Get Better and I Started Studying the Swing up at 3am, 4am In Our Bedroom Lights on in Front of a Huge Mirror that I bought so LET for the Purpose and Trying to Improve My Golf Posture Etc....I was Able to Immerse Myself in Something Other than The Death of My Son.....🙁 One might Ask well what do you Owe Something that Saved Your Life.....? My Response: MY LIFE! So I quit My Job (engineering) and Decided I would go get a Job Bartending Again because I Made Good Money doing that in College they Worked Around My Schedule and Allowed me Some Flexibility to Practice More & More and I got this Idea that I wanted to See if I could take a Couple Years to Become Good Enough to Pass the PAT so that I could Teach Kids this Amazing Game....I thought what about An After School Program for "AT RISK YOUTH" etc....Maybe Call it "Fore BECKETT.ORG".....I Just wanted No That Is Not The Right Word.....I NEEDED TO GIVE BACK TO THIS GAME THIS WONDERFUL GAME.... NOW HERE WE ARE....ALMOST 2 years LATER.....At My Best before I Had Kids and Responsibilities I was I believe around 12-14 Handicap...Now I have Improved on that Number TREMENDOUSLY I am Around a 5 (right now I am Dealing with a RHOMBOID small tear) Which has me Both Depressed and Sad because I really had Planned on Going Down the Memphis the End of September to Take the PAT....But Now I DUNNO I have been Out 3 Weeks Already Dr Said 3-6 Weeks NO SWINGING AT ALL....I was Feeling Pretty Confident Right Before I got Hurt Shooting a 76 at Harpeth Hills in Nashville, TN is hitting the Ball Pretty Darn Good....I haven't Had a SINGLE LESSON and Said IN THE BEGINNING I DIDN'T WANT TO....I wanted it to Be an Intimate Experience that I shared Alone (with My Baby Boy Looking Down and Smiling Seeing that His Daddy Didn't just Lose It...That He Had A Goal and Acheived It and That Him and Myself did This Together)!!!!! I COULDN'T HAVE PUSHED MYSELF THIS HARD WITHOUT HIM BEING MY MOTIVATION TO SUCCEED AT ALL COST! I am probably gonna start Hitting lil 30-60 Yard Wedge Shots this Weekend....I will Try and See if we can Budget Hiring a "Teaching Pro" to Get Me Ready and See if its Possible......EITHER WAY....What I had previously said I Would Take A Couple Years to See How Good I can Get Now I think if it Takes 2,3,6 Years to Achieve My Goal then So Be it....It MEANS SO MUCH TO MYSELF THAT I ACCOMPLISH THIS GOAL.....(Because what I didnt Tell you is that About a Month after My Son Passed Away literally a Week after the Scramble at GreyStone My Ex packed up took My Daughters & Said that I was an Ever Present Reminder of Him to Her and that She was Going to her Mom's......So I lost My Best Friend of 10 years, My Son, and My Daughter's Not that I couldn't go See them and After Spending Almost My Entire Savings Fighting to See My Girls and Hearing My Ex Whom is Mad at the World tell me that I am an Idiot for Quitting My Job and Chasing this "Silly Stupid Sport Around" (her Words Exactly Not Mine) I feel as if I have to Achieve My Goal (to this day she hates the 🌎 and I can Only Feel Sadness in my Heart for Her) !!!! I however can Smile Most Days when I look up at the Sky and Wave to Him as I do EVERY SINGLE MORNING BECAUSE: GOLF SAVED MY LIFE!!!!!!! Sorry I hope I didn't offend and or Bore you to Death with My Story Honestly Most of what I wrote just came out and some of those Feelings/Emotions Et Cetera I have NEVER SHARED WITH ANYONE! I HOPE YOU GUYS HAVE A PLEASANT WEEK AND THANK YOU FOR LETTING ME SHARE MY STORY ON THIS WONDERFUL SITE.... With Love & Respect, Chris R.
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