Category: Thrash Talk

Disclaimer: I freely admit that I am a latecomer to the practice of attending LPGA Tour events. With this in mind, the persons and events recounted in the following may seem commonplace or (dare I say) par for the course, to some. From the minute I walked into the gates of Corning Country Club, however, I had the distinct feeling of having entered a parallel universe.

I am not entirely sure what my expectations were, really. Enjoy a day off? To be sure. See some quality golf? Somewhat. Admire certain standouts? Yes. Have a few beers? Indeed. In no way was I prepared for the all-encompassing clown fest which ensued. This isn’t to be, as is perhaps fashionable, demeaning of the LPGA Tour. I certainly don’t believe the Tour is in any way deliberately attempting to attract the most bizarre galleries possible. Neither do I feel that the gallery I encountered is in any way representative of LPGA galleries at large.

Additionally, I am aware that public events attract, and probably always will attract, interesting individuals. I’ve had a multitude of strange encounters at PGA Tour events in the past. This event, however, was silliness to the tenth power. From the moment that I was ushered into my parking spot by a moderately incoherent limping geriatric from the Kiwanis club, I knew I was in for an experience.

Continue reading “Strange Gallery at Corning”

Perhaps, it has happened in a somewhat ham-handed fashion; nevertheless, it has happened. With the advent of the FedExCup, the American public has been presented with a formal ranking of PGA Tour tournament prestige, or worth (at least with reference to this particular system, which, given its ten million dollar annual prize, is a pretty influential system).

The merits of the system itself aside, I propose that there are really only two “Majors,” and that the rest of the tournaments are filler. Really, though, every tournament ought to strive to create its own culture, history, and prestige (in short, marketability). However, the absence, presence, or overabundance of such does not necessarily make any particular tournament a Major.

What does then?

Continue reading “Only Two Majors”

I think we’ve all heard the banter of talking heads, players and enthusiasts revolving around whether or not The Players Championship deserves to be evaluated in the same way as a Major, or formally considered such by golf’s governing bodies. My argument, which will be laid out in the succeeding paragraphs, is that it doesn’t.

Further, I believe the only two legitimate Majors are The Open Championship and The U.S. Open. I wasn’t sure any golf literate or marginally sentient being could make such a claim when I took to my easy chair to massage my temples and consider this issue. However, I am now convinced that it is the most historically honest and consistent evaluation of the golfing calendar, even though I am neither beating the drum of reform or expecting any semblance of change, save for that of popular perception and (add this to Jon Stewart’s list of “Sh*t That Will Never Happen) media sensationalizing.

Wait!

Stop the press! What of Augusta… and the Masters… Amen Corner, patrons and not fans… Sarezen’s double eagle… Green Jackets… Champions Dinners… Magnolia Drive?

Fear not. I’ll deal with those concerns in another article. The beast in the trap is The Players. I’ll approach Major classification next week, maybe. Before any of this, however, we need clarity and, alas, defintions.

Continue reading “The Fifth Major? Please.”

I strongly considered responding to some of the more interesting comments affixed to part one, but I’ll remain the catalyst for mudslinging and not a participant in the action which I provoke (which usually seems to be calling me and/or my writing “pointless” or “stupid”).

It’s nice both to hear words of encouragement and dodge the tomatoes which are being hurled my way. Keep it up. Before I get to the other major points, I’d like to say that one of the main reasons for all the specific “anti-Tiger” complaints is the man’s sheer overexposure, and indeed many of his flaws (foul language, relative scarcity, photographer abuse) stem, I think, for his overexposed status. That is, he’s asked to don a persona, which is mostly his creation, but which is, to some extent, a washed out facade, all the time.

True, there are great rewards in being “Tiger Woods,” but the man also exists within very apparent boundaries, which seem to be ever encroaching, thus his inherently defensive posture. This isn’t so much of a justification for behavior, but rather an attempt to identify root causes, for what it’s worth.

Anyway, on with the rest of the letter.

Continue reading “An Open Letter To All Anti-Tigerites, Part Two”

To Whom It May Concern:

I am not an entirely shameless and uncritical worshipper of Tiger Woods. There are things about the man that I don’t like, both on and off the golf course. On the course, it annoys me when he refers to himself as “Woody,” when he insists on two possible hat and shoe combinations (white and white or black and black), when he and Steve Williams interact like they are angry school teachers, when he blows snot rockets or expels worse: an unbelievably generic post-round interview.

Continue reading “An Open Letter To All Anti-Tigerites, Part One”