January is a time of mixed emotions for golfers. There are New Year’s resolutions, which offer hope, then dash it. There’s the return of the PGA Tour, until you realize just how lackluster the fields are. And don’t forget all the fun new gear coming out, if only you weren’t still paying off your Christmas credit card bills.
So if you’re pacing your living room, taking divots in the carpet and trying to convince your wife your short game practice area really DOES belong where the sofa used to go, you’re not alone. You’ve got the January Golf Blues, just like me…
Get Into Golf Shape
Resolutions are meant to be broken, and I’m not sure why we bother making them. However, you’re a stronger person than me if you can resist changing your life at a randomly selected month on the calendar. There are always the standbys – lose weight, go to the gym, get a better job, become more responsible with money. They never stick, and then you’re back to scratch.
I used to have a good reason to stay in shape. I was single, living in the city, and being a slob made my 20-minute walk to work miserable. And, did I mention I was single. Fast-forward six years, add one wedding ring and 50 pounds, and man, I’m loving life. Until I recorded my golf swing. Two conclusions: “Wow, I’m fat!” and, “Wow, my swing has gotten short!”
That leads to my two resolutions: diet and yoga. I’ve had great success in the past going low-carb, dropping 40 pounds and keeping it off through most of my mid-20s. Now that I’m 32, I’ll give it another shot. But I know that as much as dropping weight matters, my golf swing is suffering from a severe lack of flexibility, especially through the midsection, lower back and hamstrings. Yoga seems to be just the cure, but of course I’ve already broken my resolution, having done it once in the first three weeks of the year. However, I still think there’s hope. At least more hope than when I resolved to start going to the gym, dropped several hundred bucks a few years back and haven’t seen the place since. At least I know where the Yoga DVDs are on the bookshelf.
The diet, I’ll give it some more time since it just really started this week. There are a few things that increase my odds of sticking to it. First, the applications for state amateur events are out, and the thought of walking the course once, let alone several days in a row is painful. Second, I remembered last night how great Atkins can be, when I guiltlessly thickened a pot of beef stew with several spoonfuls of butter. How’d I lose weight on this diet? Who knows, but I did, so we’ll give it another shot.
Offseason Means It’s Time to Practice
Hands up if you’ve vowed that this winter you won’t fall out of form. You’re going to swear to hit the range with the little Easy Bake Oven heating unit. You know, the one that raises the temperature from 27 degrees to 29 (and I’m talkin’ Fahrenheit you crazy Canadians). You bundle up with a thermal shirt, golf shirt, sweater, wind shirt, and a vest to top it off. Walk along the stalls and you’d swear you see Ralphie’s brother trying to get his arms close enough to grip a club.
Or maybe you’re like me and you’ve decided this is the winter to hone your putting and pick up some green felt and what passes as a training aid. Let’s vow to each other that when the course thaws, we will have taken a step forward this winter. But we should be more realistic and just hope we didn’t slide backwards. At least it will soothe the pain of stinging hands you’ve got from last weekend’s thin 4-iron off a rubber mat.
PGA Tour’s Kick-off
Not sure about you, but I look forward to the lush green grass popping onto the TV, and lazy nights watching the PGA Tour work through Hawaii. But even for me, it’s a stretch to get fired up. It’s like watching college hoops in November. There are simply too many other sports that steal attention. Maybe the Bob Hope will get things going, but looking at the lineup and there’s barely a smattering of interesting names playing. Truth is, on paper, I’d never bother with a Ryan Palmer-Robert Allenby showdown, but it was good fun on a Sunday night to wrap up a great day of NFL games. If nothing else, fantasy golf offers a reason to root one way or the other.
All Eyes on Tiger
I realize that as a golf columnist in any capacity, I’m morally, ethically, and professionally bound to mention his Tiger-ness at least gratuitously. But this time it’s legit. Normally January is the Tiger-free zone. Depending on how you see it, that’s either a mark for, or a mark against, the winter months. This year, we’re lucky to have all the speculation, rumor, innuendo, altered pictures of Tiger and lady body parts giving us something to talk about. It beats the normal January debate of “How many majors will Tiger win this year?” At least I think it does.
New Equipment
Ah, what a bonanza. All new clubs, pictures of players’ bags to drool over, and entire discussions to be had over Ryan Moore’s irons stamped with degrees instead of numerals. Fresh technology, funny new names, it’s all so exciting! Until you realize how maxed out it all is. Heck, they’re moving backwards now with the groove rule. But we love to talk about equipment, because in truth, what else are we going to argue over? At least the groove rule lets Nick Faldo toss puns like “Groovy baby, yeah” on his segments around the greens, and it opens a whole new realm of golf ball discussion.
And just like foodies who flock to message boards for pictures of other people’s dinner, there’s something porntastic about shots of a golf pro’s new irons, or a bag full of the latest Bettinardi offerings.
So fine, go ahead and drool. But don’t forget that one of your New Year’s resolutions was to be more responsible with your money!