The Cast of Characters Makes Any Driving Range a Colorful Place

The familiar, friendly, and not-so-friendly faces you’ll find on the practice tee.

Thrash TalkFinally, the weather in most of the country is starting to break, which means cabin fever is spreading at epidemic pace. Reports from driving ranges all over included 45-minute waits for a stall and range pickers running non-stop to keep the buckets full.

Heck, just last week I saw something for the first time in my long golfing life. With a full gallery of players blasting away, two workers made their way to the 150-yard green. I paused, wondering if they had a death wish. Then it dawned on me they were out there to rake up the balls plugged in the mud. But no worries, they were prepared. They were wearing what looked like a panel of fence on their backs like backpacks. The things others will do so we can hit a little white ball.

So while even a range veteran is bound to see something new ever once in a while, some things never change. So while many of us already recognize the characters who set up shop in the land of fake grass, vinyl divider walls and rubber golf tees, range neophytes can use a guide. Of course for range mainstays, you might just find yourself described below.

My Dough is On Tiger Woods, Even if My Heart Isn’t

In the land of legal sportsbetting, now’s the time to plunk down a few bucks on 2010 being the Year of Woods afterall

Thrash TalkAs I prepare for a week in Las Vegas and the chance to place a wager on just about anything, I’ll be on the lookout for golf in the sports book. As if this sport isn’t maddening enough, why not combine it with another completely futile hobby – handing over my hard-earned cash so they can buy another chandelier for the lobby.

I’ve Got an Addiction, and the Blisters Simply Confirm It

With the first tee (and my car) buried under two feet of snow, I’m left to the Internet to fill my golf needs. It’s not scratching that itch, and everyone around me is paying the price.

Thrash TalkFor years it’s been clear that I love golf. Love playing it, love reading about it, love watching it on TV. But it’s finally time to admit my passion has crossed the fine line into obsession. The snowiest winter the Northeast has seen in years and a dip into the deep, never-ending world of golf message boards has sunken me to new lows.

It’s the Tiger Woods Way: Manipulation and Revenge

More of the same from the greatest golfer – and philanderer – most of us have ever seen.

Thrash TalkWoods will speak Friday, and to the surprise of no one, the rules ensure nothing can go wrong. Plus, in true Tiger fashion, he gets vengeance on the first sponsor to drop him.

As always, it’s on Tiger Woods’ terms.

Woods has yet to lace up his Nikes, so we can’t tell about his driving distance off the tee, his precision into the greens, or his ability to make clutch putts. But we already know two of his most defining characteristics are back in fine form: manipulation and vindictiveness.

Sorry Stricker, I’m Bored

New #2 seems like a really nice guy, but hard as I try, I can’t get jazzed up about him. Help me figure out why.

Thrash TalkHe’s a nice guy. Really nice. So nice he cries tears of joy every time he wins. I can buy that. Actually I can root for that. A pro athlete who really cares, whose default emotion is to weep, rather than throw a club and drop F-bombs on live TV. Steve Stricker’s the opposite of everything I can’t stand in His Tigerness, so in theory I should be president of the Stricker fan club.
But that’s where I’m stumped. I see Stricker’s name on the leaderboard and I might as well have taken an Ambien. There’s no spark, no sizzle, no swagger, no pop. So what is it I look for as a golf fan?

I guess the best way to define it is to run down the list and see if there’s a pattern.

Is It 2011 Yet?

Tiger’s holed up and Phil’s branded a cheater. Can 2010 get any worse? Sure. But a few things can turn the season around, too.

Thrash TalkWe’re only a month into the year, but the signs are all there. The world’s top two are suddenly PR nightmares. We’ve already had a dreaded Monday finish. The European Tour is churning out young stars at an eye-opening rate, and the Champions Tour is reminding us of what golf was like pre-Woods with the recent Couples-Watson showdown.

It’s only Week Five, but it’s becoming obvious: this will go down as the worst year for the PGA Tour since 1995 (aka, the year before Tiger turned pro).

Mickelson Gets Into the Groove

Digging 20-year-old wedges out of the garage isn’t cheating. It’s just Phil being Phil.

Thrash TalkRegardless of the sport, there are always going to be rules. And there are always going to be people who find a way to bend them, or use them to their advantage. Golf is no different.

But as Phil Mickelson prepares to put a “grandfathered” Ping wedge into his bag, he’s neither bending nor breaking the rules. In fact, he’s not even violating the spirit of the rule. There are plenty of reasons why.

Singin’ the January Blues

You’re stuck inside, you can’t afford a trip somewhere warm and there’s only so much carpet putting you can do.

Thrash TalkJanuary is a time of mixed emotions for golfers. There are New Year’s resolutions, which offer hope, then dash it. There’s the return of the PGA Tour, until you realize just how lackluster the fields are. And don’t forget all the fun new gear coming out, if only you weren’t still paying off your Christmas credit card bills.

So if you’re pacing your living room, taking divots in the carpet and trying to convince your wife your short game practice area really DOES belong where the sofa used to go, you’re not alone. You’ve got the January Golf Blues, just like me…

2010 Predictions

Got your own predictions for 2010? Good. Compare them to ours and see if you agree – or disagree – with any or all.

Thrash TalkIt’s a touch of déjà vu. Tiger is MIA, and his return is the biggest story of the season. Geoff Ogilvy is off to a hot start with his season-opening win in Hawaii, and John Daly is about to steal the stage.

Wait, what?

Sure, 2009 set the bar high in terms of drama. Name a year with four better major Sundays, and a group of four less likely winners. And that paled in comparison to the Woods family drama that made the Silly Season all the sillier. Well, 2010 has a lot to live up to, but there’s no telling just how wacky it’ll get. Long John is leading all of Golf Channel‘s current promos, after all.