What Your Clubs Are Saying About You

Who’s this guy the starter paired you with? Is he a player? A pretender? Somewhere in between?

Trap Five LogoWhen you get paired with a stranger on the first tee, do you ever casually check out the contents of his golf bag to learn a little something about the guy? Sure, it’s superficial. And yes, there are always exceptions. But you can often learn something about people by what they choose to put in their golf bags.

There are danger signs that you should be aware of. Slow play and other irritations could foul up that round you’ve been waiting for.

Number One: The One-Brander
These folks show up at the first tee with matching bag, clubs, towel, golf hat, and probably boxers, too. There’s a little too much coordination going on for comfort (a related disorder is the tendency to color-coordinate everything in and on the bag). These people form their own subgroup of the OCG afflicted. There are two kinds of people who play a whole bag of same brand: those who have found everything they need in a single brand (it happens), and those who want everything to match. If the case at hand is one of the latter, you could be in for a long round, indeed.

People who feel compelled to get a full set of one brand just to match probably are more concerned with appearances than substance. They put more value on the trophy courses they have played than the scores they shot on them.

There is definitely a whole range of possibilities for the one-brand phenomenom. If someone shows up with a whole bag of Titleist, Mizuno, Srixon, or TaylorMade, things are more than likely going to be OK. Sure, some bad golfers carry good clubs, but just in case, you might want to keep the stakes low. At any rate, with clubs like these they probably play enough to be able to get around the course without causing too much interruption to your round.

But if every club in the bag is Dunlap, Maxfli, or even Wilson (not “Staff”), chances are you are in for one of those days that test the limits of your patience.

Number Two: The Longest Club in the Bag is a Ball Retriever
There are three kinds of people who carry ball retrievers.

Some people carry them so that they can retrieve their own occasional shots that trundle off the fairway into the shallows of a pond or into a tangle of brambles. These people are, for the most part, okay. They tend to carry rather unobtrusive telescoping models, and may even produce them to helpfully fish out your errant shot from time to time.

The second kind of person is the misguided soul who thinks he can use the fully extended length of the retriever to get an extra advantage out of those one and two club length drops. Sorry buddy, a retriever is not a club.

No ball hawking signThat brings us to ballus shagahawkus… the common ball hawk. These folks can’t bear the thought of parting with their $20 a dozen Noodles. They positively coo when they find a Pro V1. They gauge their rounds by the total number of balls they find, the brands of tour balls they find, and how many of those are “practically brand new.”

When a cart pulls up with a ball retriever extending above it like a radio whip on an Army Hummer, you know you’re in trouble. I’m convinced these folks like to hit it in the deep stuff because it gives them an excuse to look for other balls. They patrol the shores of course lakes like anglers searching out an elusive trout. They spend an awful lot of their time on the golf course not golfing. Good luck.

Sure, I’ve seen good players with ball retrievers and bad players with ball retrievers, and I really don’t have a problem with ball retirevers. Just don’t make a career out of finding balls on a course while you play your round. Losing a ball isn’t nearly as bad as ruining the round of those behind you with extensive ball hawking.

Number Three: Club Brands Edwin Watts Has Never Heard Of
Some people play build them yourself clubs because they enjoy tinkering with golf equipment. They like begin able to customize all of their clubs to their own games. And let’s face it. Most build-it-yourself components are less expensive than their OEM counterparts.

There are some very good components out there. Club heads made by Wishon, SMT, Alpha, Geek Golf, and others are sometimes as good or even better than those made by the big name brands, at substantial savings generally. And there are no stock shafts with components. You can pick exactly what you want to go into that club.

The thing to watch out for is clones. Clones are almost always inferior to even middle-of-the-road name brands. Clone clubheads are made to look like name brands, but often lack the features that make the name brand clubs popular. Like the worst of the one-brand bag practicioners, people who play clones usually are seeking the appearance of a certain name brand club, but in this case they don’t want to pay the price of the name brand. They may even feel that their game doesn’t merit that kind of outlay.

Number Four: A Chip Off the Old Block
What’s that odd looking club in that guy’s bag? A chipper? Maybe I should go mow the lawn instead of play.

What’s wrong with a chipper? Not that much really provided it only has one face, but chances are you already have virtually the same club in your bag already. Most chippers have a loft equal to your seven, eight, or nine iron. Why buy a club that you already own?

OK, chipper lovers, I know sometimes a club just sets up right for you. If you truly use a putting stroke to chip, a chipper does make some sense. Just please get yourself a one-sided chipper and keep yourself legal. Two-sided clubs, like many chippers, are non-conforming. If you’re going to play golf, play by the rules. Otherwise it’s not golf.

Number Five: Mr. Exact Yardage
Have you ever played with someone who labors to find the exact yardage? Maybe he carries a GPS or laser with him to consult. But then disbelieving the yardage it gives, he still wanders off to find a mark and walk off the yardage to double-check. Then perhaps takes another reading with the laser or GPS in case the yardage has changed since that first reading.

Slow play sucks!

Just hit the ball! Most amateurs don’t control their distance to the point to make exact yardages necessary. Many people play by feel alone… looking at the pin and grabbing the club that feels right. Even if you don’t play by feel, as long as you get a number with about three yards (maybe even five yards), you’ll probably get around the course pretty much as well as you would with exact yardage. Sometimes you’ll catch it flush and hit it farther than usual. Sometimes you’ll miss the sweetspot and come up short.

Getting a fairly accurate yardage is important, but it can be attained much quicker than many of us do it today. If you’re walking, find a mark as you’re approaching your ball and step off the yards it takes to reach the ball. Then just subtract your count from the mark you passed. Take into account the pin position and the elements, and you should be ready to pick a club and fire.

Photo Credits: © No Three Putts.

47 thoughts on “What Your Clubs Are Saying About You”

  1. I agree with many points in this article, but it still comes off with a feeling of “golf snobbery”.
    I’m new to the game, and I am going to try my best to never judge a player by his/her equipment.

  2. great article. i’ve got a few friends who carry ball retrievers, and it’s really starting to impinge on our friendship.

  3. You leave out one possible reason for the one-brander, which is he or she is a brand-new player who has a starter set. This might be too horrible to contemplate, or it might mean a nice chance to help the newcomer out!

    (And yes, I’m a newbie one-brander who is about to brave her first beginner’s league game!)

  4. I can not consider the analysis complete without your take on the dreaded neoprene iron head covers. Please respond.

  5. Great article. I don’t really mind playing with anyone at any level, because I easily remember back to when I was starting out in golf. I do have to agree about the people who do seem more interested in looking for lost golf balls than fairways and greens.

  6. I am all about pace of play, so please ban the ball retrievers. However, passing judgement about someone based on the equipment in their bags speaks volumes about an individual’s character.

  7. I’d add two cents in defense of GPS distance finders – having a decent plus-or-minus five yard distance without having to pace off from a sprinkler head not only makes club selection quicker, but saves a couple strokes a round. Net result, ten or fifteen minutes less per 18. Paint over the sprinkler heads and make those critters standard equipment and we’d all gte around a few minutes faster …

  8. You may be right on the color co-ordination stuff but I admit though that I am a ocd type and have black and red bag, covers, towel, new decade grips etc etc
    my hat does usually match too!

    but I am fast like a fox!

  9. Neoprene head covers… guilty as charged. I have been playing golf since I was about 13. I’m 54 now. Never even thought to put on neoprenes, I even had the same preconceived biases towards people that used them. But then I got these gorgeous BeCu Ping Eye 2 irons. They were pristine. Never struck, ever struck. I only put them on during transport. I take them off when I go to the driving range or for a round. And then I put them back on. Silly, but I just like to preserve the BeCu heads. I just don’t like the backs of the irons getting all dinged up. After all, the metal woods have covers – most golfers use them. Anyway, that’s my OCD moment.

  10. Not everyone can afford the high-end golf clubs…

    If anything, I take the person’s personality as a sign of the quality of player over the kind of clubs in his bag.

    If the player is generally quiet and polite, exuding focus, I often find that I am in for a quality, speedy round.

    If the player is loud and obnoxious, it’s a good sign I will be in for a long day…

    I have been manhandled by players using 40 year old technology, and I have handily beat players using the latest high tech set of clubs.

    Wait until you play the first hole before making your judgements.

  11. This excellent article left out the worst of all, the guy who is obsessed with playing a real speedy round, and is irritated with every bit of behavior that they see as slowing the round down. Absolutely ruins the entire EXPERIENCE of playing a round of golf which after all began as a leisurely outing of gentlemen/ladies. It’s not supposed to be about how fast you play. Take enough time to smell the roses, get your exact yardage, feel comfortable, read your putt from behind the hole, read your chip from the side, that’s how golf is played.

  12. I’ll bet that RX Phoenix is the type of guy who when he’s 250 out waits for the green to clear only to top it. Sucks to be behind a group like that all day. There’s no reason for it. Yes, get your yardage but be ready to hit when it’s your turn. Line your putts up etc. but come on–it’s not the Masters.
    The one that really gets me is the multiple practice swing guy who then shanks or tops it, stands around looking annoyed, then trods over the 15 yards to his ball and begins the whole process again. Just hit the ball and move on.
    The great thing about golf is how players of all levels can play together. There’s simply no need for a player of any level to play slowly.
    Just ask them in Scotland how long a round should take.

  13. Golf ball retrievers. Hummm necessary kit. what with laggards wanting to play 5 /6 hour rounds. gee you cam amuse your self retrieving expensive white fish pills. Now you Yanks pay half of what you do for the high end balls. Your $40 ball is a £40 ball to us. That means said white pill is now $80!!! I’ll keep my retriever in the UK!! and help you spoilt Yanks out when I’m in Florida :mrgreen:

  14. I second RX Phoenix’s comments. Here in the New York area we have all kinds of neurotic, unpleasant fast players who mistake golf with power tennis or auto racing. Terrible! I’ve had more than one round spoiled by these “just shot already” types, all of whom, by the bye, had higher handicaps than me. Any lazy, half-kept southern course under scorching heat beats playing Pine Valley with stockbrokers from Brooklyn.

  15. Bag makeup is a clue as well…if you see a two iron things are problably going to be alright…if a guy has components he is problably a player, and the higher end one branders are usually the worst offenders unless they have their name sewn on their bag…beware of gambling with the guy with the dirt encrusted clubs that mismatch thru the set…

  16. People who feel compelled to get a full set of one brand just to match probably are more concerned with appearances than substance. They put more value on the trophy courses they have played than the scores they shot on them.

    I’m pretty sure my 8th grade English teacher would have circled this paragraph and ask me what the heck one sentence had to do with the other.

    But regardless, I’m certainly guilty as charged as enjoying more than my share of “trophy” tracks without necessarily remembering every score on every hole. Walk Pacific Dunes on a gorgeous day and tell me you really care if that putt on 8 should have dropped for bogey when you’re hanging out at McKees…

  17. I’m completley gilty of the one brander just cant help myself 😉 but they are from different sub companys titleist vokey scotty and yes I wear the matching hat but do have Nike shoes ! I play fast and do ok even with a the single handy cappers !

    do be honest I was getting nervous that my picure was going to appear under the heading.


  18. There is also a good chance that when you see a one brander sstep onto the tee and take ahuge chunk out of the bed that they have just won a raffle… That has happened before to me and it didn’t matter as he was a good guy who did get up to his ball quickly and got on with it. I am almost always the low handicapper in my group and as far as I can tell the only thing is to keep out of the way of those behind of you. As long as everyone is enjoying themsleves without being pressured it is fine. I have had 4.5 hour rounds that have been great and then 3.5 hour rounds that have been nasty because the group behind were pressuring all the way…

    I am also a neoprener but seeing as I just forked out for the new AP2s I am going to keep those is cotton wool for as long as I can.

  19. I do agree with most of the article but would make one point..

    I play golf mainly with business colleagues. I work in construction where a lot of business is done on the course. This leads to quite a few guys playing golf more for business than pleasure. These guys are generally the over the top one branders. They don’t want to turn up on the course in front of clients with cheap gear.

    My boss normally go’s round in over a 100 but boasts a cracking set of callaways. It’s more than my jobs worth to make fun of him though !! 😛

  20. Have you ever been paired with the dress 70, talk 80, hope for 90, shoot 100 types? Man, they look so good in their fancy shirts and evenly pressed slacks with polished shoes. They even talk a good game and have the latest tools in the bag but they can’t break 100.

    I learned years ago not to be fooled by appearances on the golf course. I got paired with a pony-tailed guy wearing a t-shirt and Converse high-top basketball shoes (we were playing a city muny that allowed such attire). His clubs and bag looked like he had just purchased them at a garage sale. The guy shot a 76.

  21. I am all about pace of play, so please ban the ball retrievers. However, passing judgement about someone based on the equipment in their bags speaks volumes about an individual’s character.

    Lighten up. You’ve just done the same thing (all people with ball retrievers are slow), and I had to edit out the name-calling you did in your comment, too. That hardly gives you any room to talk.

    I’d add two cents in defense of GPS distance finders

    George didn’t knock GPS or range finders – he knocked people (and I’ve met a few) who don’t trust them and still pace off yardages or something. Another annoying one is the guy who zaps the yardage to everything around the green – every bunker lip, every tree, etc. as well as the flag. Just hit the flag, eye up the rest, and get a move on.

  22. perfect comment, do not forget the tees with a “smile”, the (removeable) ashtray on the bag and the clubbrush with water reservoire…

  23. I think I’m going to get rid of my matching one brander clubs and get an old mismatched crappy set so I’m not stereo typed anymore , I have enough to worry about without the low handicappier’s judging me ! jeez sometimes it sucks being successful and looking good.

  24. Guilty of being a one brander, I started with a mixed bag of hand me downs and slowy built up a respectable collection of Titleist’s finest (and the family, Vokey, Cameron, Footjoy) and in that time gone from struggling to break 100 to being consistently in the 80s. I think its a confidence thing, if a brand is working for you you like to stick with them.

    Don’t judge a book by it’s cover, for example a persons long irons might show no signs of wear, is that because they can’t hit them or because they’re going at greens with wedges and short irons?

  25. Hey, George Promenschenkel, it must be lonely at the top! I’m sure my Titty irons, driver, 3 wood, and lob wedge (EVEN A HAT-WOW) in my Ping Hoofer makes me the “one brander” loser. Please get off the high horse before you realize it’s just a donkey (ass).

  26. Personally, I don’t like to see folks with their grips falling off their clubs and using their Grandmother’s bag they got when she passed. Seems some folks go to extreme not to spend a nickel on equipment.

    You know your in ball hawker’s heaven when on your course they are everywhere in the late afternoons, while the course is still open, scavenging for balls just carrying a ball retriever and not playing.

    A chipper is a “poor players” club for the most part. Learn to use a 7 wood for the purpose. Works just as well, not as heavy and way more versatile.

  27. Learn to use a 7 wood for the purpose. Works just as well, not as heavy and way more versatile.

    whoa, i wonder what a 7 wood tells everyone about your game.

    i didn’t know they still made those!

  28. I have had 4.5 hour rounds that have been great and then 3.5 hour rounds that have been nasty because the group behind were pressuring all the way…

    Did you ever think of letting them play through?

  29. I can not consider the analysis complete without your take on the dreaded neoprene iron head covers. Please respond.

    Now some of us have nice clubs that we paid a large amount of money for…we can’t afford to buy new sticks every year or two…we like our nice stuff to be kept nice…it takes about 1 second to take the cover off and 1 second to put it back on…so if I shoot 84 on 18 as i did on saturday…thats about 3 minutes added to my round because i want to protect my investment…I don’t think that is a bad thing…my clubs look better because of it…the better they look the better I fell about swinging them…the better I score…Those lessons I took might have helped a little also!

  30. I’m the Average Joe golfer, average as per how you Professional dorks rate a player. I carry a 15, but have been as low as a 12. I am probably in the top 5 of a group (I call them the bandits, 24 of us that play for skins every week) and I am the only one in the group that carrys a ball retriever. A new guy joined us a few months ago and he had the same mentality that you have. When he spoted my small retriever tucked in between my Ping G10 Driver and G10 Fairway wood he mentioned he hoped he would not be paird with me. As luck happens, he was, but he rode with the other guy in our foursome. On the second hole he hooked a ball into the creek running parallel to the fairway. He spotted his ball in the shallow water and yelled to me to bring my ball retriever. I ignored him. And my partner and I went ahead and hit our second shot (ready golf). The guy ended up putting 3 balls in the water, shot a 92. I shot a respectable 81 and won 3 skins out of the 6 skins that were won that day. At $20 per golfer theres was $480 in the pot. As I was picked up my $240 I handed him a $20 and said, “here is your $20 that you dontaed, go buy yourself a Ball retriever”. He took the $20 and has not come back to play with us. I play Titleist Pro V1s and NXT’s. When I do on occasion put a ball in the water, the retriever pays for itself every time.

  31. I’ve got to admit, I “coo” when I find a proV ball or similar, out on the course. I don’t take the time to look for them, but sometimes you get lucky.

    My good friend that I play many rounds with stands over the ball for an eternity! Doesn’t practice swing, just stands over it -waggles and regrips like Sergio use to do. I just want to knock him over the head with a club! It drives me insane!

    I think people that play just one brand are cheating themselves. Just like card carrying republicans or democrats who vote strictly on party lines. I pity these people… Life is all about choices. Expand your horizons, break out of the box, any other cliches that relate to my point….

  32. Vinyl head covers… guilty as charged II. When I had clubs with graphite shafts, I used the head covers so the shorter clubs wouldn’t ding the shafts of the longer clubs. Now that I have new Ping G10s with steel shafts and cushin inserts, I’ve continued to use the covers for the same reason. The repetitious taking off and putting back on is a nuisance for me, but I like to take care of my clubheads and shafts. I try not to annoy my playing partners with my idiosyncrasies. What annoys me possibly the most on the course is making the 18 holes into a flat out race to the finish, either by those of the foursome I’m with or the group(s) behind. I like to take the time to line up the shot occassionally. And I don’t pay much attention to the clubs in their bag, but I do pay attention to the way they hit, especially if there is $ involved.

  33. What annoys me possibly the most on the course is making the 18 holes into a flat out race to the finish, either by those of the foursome I’m with or the group(s) behind. I like to take the time to line up the shot occassionally. And I don’t pay much attention to the clubs in their bag, but I do pay attention to the way they hit, especially if there is $ involved.

    No one likes a race they didn’t agree to, but there’s something to be said about learning how to be “playing without delaying”. It’s just more fun for everyone on the course. A lot has to do with the player’s skill (hitting multiple shots out of the rough is always going to take longer), but there are plenty of things you can do that don’t require skill, like lining up your putt ahead of time so that you can be ready when it’s your turn, or not taking that extra shot for practice when there are people waiting, or the willingness to play “ready golf”, or not taking ten practice swings, or heck, just walking to your ball in a timely manner! Those are all easy things that don’t take fun away from the game. You’ll find there’s still plenty of time to enjoy the scenery or shoot the breeze with your buddies. One thing is for sure: 5-6 hour golf rounds hurt enjoyment for everyone. Fast golf is fun! Embrace it.

    Story: There are some pretty thoughtless people on the course at times. Once, while playing solo, I hit my ball into the adjacent fairway as a foursome was teeing off. I politely waited for all of them to hit their ball, then I quickly drove to my spot and chose my club. Even though I was already lined up to hit and would have been done in 10 seconds, one of the foursome drove his cart into my line to set up and hit his shot which he duffed off the tee. So I waited again….

    On the flip side, it’s so nice when you come upon people who are quick to let you play through. If they are in a bigger group I don’t generally expect the treatment (I often just skip a hole in those cases and hope to make it up later), but it sure is nice.

  34. Nice article, George.

    I am a one-brander! Well, not 100%, as I have all Callaway clubs, bag, towel, gloves, and (usually) golf balls. I have a different putter brand, and play other balls.

    My reason, or excuse, I guess, is that one of my best friends is a sales rep for Callaway. No, he doesn’t give me free clubs; in fact he can’t even sell to me directly. But he does facilitate the reasonably priced sales of slightly experienced Callaway goods into my bag, and I also buy Callaway to support his efforts at my club.

    But I must admit, I do feel self conscious at times, dragging around my staff-player-esque kit around the course, with my less than staff-player-worthy golf game.

    Another ‘type’ you left out of your assessment is the guy who carries clubs that are too advanced for his game. Often we see Titleist or Mizuno blades in the hands of a 6 handicapper, sometimes higher. Such a player will be a “styler” in many ways, perhaps doing the club twirl during the posing stage of the shot, having the coolest, most up to date pro style apparel, and trying shots he has no business trying, like the bladed wedge from the fringe when a putter would be fine, or attempting a 2 iron “stinger” from the tee when he really needs the yardage – and forgiveness – of his driver on every hole.

    And how about the chameleon? The guy who has a different driver, new wedges, and different hybrids every few weeks? If a Scott Hamilton wins the British by hitting scooters with the hybrid from 15 yards short of the green, he will try it next week, even though his fairways are soggy and slow. He brings out a second driver after watching Phil at the Masters, or shortens the shaft of his driver after reading an article on how Tiger did it in Golf Digest.

    Anyway, fun stuff. Great article. Keep it up.

  35. Lee Trevino once said. “The slowest people in the world are the foursome playing in front of you, and the fastest are the foursome playing behind you”.

    Also with all of these comments, let’s remember, it is suppose to be a Gentlemen’s Game. Let people have fun, but be courteous at all times.

  36. Funny post. I play Wishon, Nakashima, Adams, Cleveland, and Odyssey right now. Love components because of the customization and the fact that serious quality can be had nowadays.

  37. So lets see George – you’d rather play with real players like yourself all the time then get your round ‘fouled up’ by slow play. Well then, don’t turn up at golf courses on your own. Go with friends.
    Oh wait a minute… 😥

  38. You ought to write a companion piece on who not to gamble with, like the old guy with a leathery tan, two-iron, and nickel sized wear spots on his 15-year-old blades.

    Don’t let that ball retriever fool you, he wants your money.

  39. I am almost a one brander – but eventually that will change. As I improve my game then I will look into purchasing better clubs. Almost all my clubs are TaylorMade – Have the TM Burner Draw, Got the TM R7 3 Wood, Got the TM RAC OS2, but an Oddessy Putter. So – But the other day I was test hitting a Ping G10, and that was the sweetest driver I have ever hit, but the $399 price tag was a bit high. So – but right now my main focus is improving my game – I’m a 25 handicapper. Once I do then I’ll go different and look into really investing my money on some real clubs.

    As for the ball retrievers – I usually just leave them as a gift for the next golfer behind me. 🙂 Just takes up too much time to look and pick up the ball. If I can’t get to it – then leave it.

    Good article btw!

  40. You forgot one:

    In my opinion, the most feared, especially in old gambling games, is the guy who carries the twenty-plus year old Hogan Apex PC irons with a small brown rust spot in the center of the face, and lead tape smothering the back.

    If you’re playing a friendly match with the guy, he’ll knock your socks off… Just don’t play for that high stakes nassau he asks about at the end of the friendly round.

  41. I am also guilty of being a one brander. Honestly though, it’s not because I prefer a brand, it is because I liked every one of their clubs I have played with. I get looked down upon because it is Nike 😯 but it works for me. I started with the CCi Forged, felt good. Tried several drivers and ended up with the Sumo2 over the TM Burners and matching fairway wood and hybrid. Was set on not getting a Nike putter because everyone gave them terrible reviews. I ended up rolling a center shafted ignite and loved it. I have the sasquatch tour bag because I did want to match my iron brand with the bag and that bag was amazing. Still need to get wedges which may end up being cleveland, but I am willing to try the sv tours.

  42. Play with a group of about 16-20 reasonably regularly. There’s about 4-5 who are beginning or play 4 games a year & either don’t have sticks or have picked up a beginners’ bag, clubs, putter set. No problems with that, smart spending.
    There’s 2-3 on 6-11. The rest are between 16-24. What you’d get for all three complete bags (Titleist 990’s, 20 year old Rams, MacG Muirfields) of the lower guys wouldn’t pay for any one bag of the mid-high guys. Puh-lease. There must’ve been a ‘Buy 1, get 1 free’ deal going somewhere on CGB’s and R7’s, because the TM tour van doesn’t carry that much stock! They all look a million bucks, until they address the ball.

    Like the man said, we’ve all been creamed by some old guy with tiny wear stains on old equipment (in my case, he won a British Amateur 20 years before I was born!)

    And even though I do it, I reckon it’s still snobbery to judge them! Good luck if they want the yellow of their cap to match the black of their pants with their R7s!

  43. you all talked about the clubs in a guy’s bag, but what do you do if you noticed that hes tee’d up a yellow or orange ball? 😯

  44. Kudos to all of us stereotypes who typed with subjectivity in to order to stereo-gripe marketing hype to those we who shell out monetary tripe to help our game snipe thus providing the simple pleasure of knocking one straight down the pipe. Odd it remains however that “Frats” (those whose gear is drenched from tip to toe with Notre Dame team colors or the like); “Straws” (those who don wide brimmed brand-emblazoned domes no matter if sunny or dusk); “Tabs” (the ever-cigar chomping yutz clad in Cutter & Buck three-pleat slacks and Ashworth dual spot shirt who insists on poisoning shared ozone while bending amateur-links fashion standards throughout the round); “Alexander’s” (people who actually believe Blackberry is the fifteenth club in their bag); “Setters” (those who purchase, swing, and actually carry at all times matching 3-SW); and “Spreaders” (those who proliferate brand loyalty around the bag thinking that in some way they are immune to being typecast by purposely detaching high percentage spending towards a singular manufacturer)… were omitted from discussion. Lest we forget the guy who in February of each year chooses a new manufacturer to play – complete with behemoth staff bag and matching umbrella, 8.5 xstiff TT Dynamic Gold shafted driver (1.5″ long), 2,5,7,9,PW (TT Dynamic Gold x100, 1.75 upright, minus 1 loft, 1″ long, Golf Pride Tour Velvet Cord 58+2), and 58/62 degree wedges – who will play with anybody no matter what’s in their course luggage, label on their back, wings on their feet, type of track, or predisposition to the experience with regard to “game improvement” devices or despite the fact they do not recognize the instructional value of a simple blade putter. By the way… we definitely need to categorize and get help for those who have been hypnotized by the word hybrid. And I’m not talkin’ cars here. Oh and… if you’re wondering about the abovementioned guy who snags a new set of bagpipes every February as to what he does with all those swanky custom clubs after the season as he must have one heck of a collection; the answer is no… as he auctions them off to the highest bidder for which 100% of those proceeds plus another 1000% of the final selling price from his own pocket is donated anonymously to St. Jude’s Children’s Research Hospital in keeping promise to a friend.

    Golf… it’s not always about what’s in your bag.

  45. Everybody who is saying “I judge a golfer on their ability and character blah blah,” you guys are missing the point! It’s a funny blog. Meant for laughs. I think it’s clever 😉 Lighten up. Everybody takes everything so personal. I thought it was funny and I have all of that stuff. Except the ball retriever and the chipper (thats just stupid). All titleist, matching sock pompom headcovers, neoprene for the irons (Titleist Z-M Forged, look em up and you’ll know why) bag and hat and the whole shebang. Lets face it golf is golf and players are players and hackers are hackers what are you gonna do? Everybody is out there to have fun except those of us who are trying to get to scratch. Oh! i even have a brand Ed Watts Golf never heard of too, but that 60* wedge could rescue your dog from quicksand!!!!!

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