Despite what the glowing reader reviews found on Barnes & Noble and Amazon.com lead me to believe, The Green, by Troon McAllister, is a disappointing book at best.
The story is narrated by Alan Bellamy, “Player of the Year” and Ryder Cup captain. After being defeated for $20,000 by a public links hustler named Eddie Caminetti, Bellamy names Caminetti the 12th man to the US Ryder Cup team. Heavy underdogs this year, the US team members witness Eddie’s play and agree to pay him $100,000 if he helps them to win or keep the Cup.
The first page promises that things eventually go “haywire,” but the expectation remains sadly unfulfilled throughout the book’s 289 pages.
The Green is based on a premise so ridiculous as to be positively absurd. Even if one ignores the plot – a no-name hustler named to a Ryder Cup team – several other aspects contribute to the gross negligence the author has shown in crafting an enjoyable, somewhat valid tale. The pros in the book routinely strain to blast their drives 290 yards. They frequently lay up on par 4s when faced with difficulties as severe as a lie in the rough, 200 yards to the green, and a bunker left. They also swear an awful lot and open their 3-irons “so that it looks like a sand wedge” to hit high, soft, 190-yard shots.
Unfortunately, it’s not possible to overlook the basic plot, which merely serves to compound the issues facing The Green. The media hailstorm that would inevitably result from Bellamy’s choice for the twelfth man is brushed aside in a paragraph or two. European protests aren’t even discussed. The story focuses on Eddie Caminetti – and rightly so – but does so from such a shaky platform that missing elements and flat out falsities become glaring holes, not omittable fluff. Suspension of disbelief is fine when you’re watching an action film or sci-fi, not when reading a story about the Ryder Cup.
The facts used to bolster the story are out of place in such a fantasy tale. Derek Anouilh, the “multi-national young phenom” is clearly based on Tiger Woods, and other pros like John Daly are represented as well. The Ryder Cup (a real event) is contested at PGA West (a real course). The mixture of “real-life” and “fantasy” merely makes the fantasy in The Green stand out, stunning in its inadequacy and faltering in its basic promise.
I won’t spoil the ending for you, though I do wish to spare you from having to endure it. The Green is well written and is an easy read. Though I’ll admit that I had a hard time putting the book down, I will also say that it’s only because I kept waiting for the “haywire,” interesting, or believable parts. Having finished the book, I’m still waiting.
I’ve come to seriously suspect that the author – whomever he or she may be – is responsible for a large portion of the five-star ratings on Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble. Or perhaps family and friends…
The Green is not the worst book I’ve read in the past decade, but it sure as heck wouldn’t make my Ryder Cup team.
Troon McCallister Punked us all in “The Green ” I first read it on my flight to Athens and various boats n beaches in the kiklades islands (cyclades) and Ive re read it four more times hoping the story would change….Then “The Foursome” , “Barranca and the others” . ” Foursome is as Excellent a book as “The Green” the others are a couple of steps down. Rumor has it that the “Film is in the can” and expected to “Exceed all expectations of sports films of the past”……A freind….insider at MGM……said “Movie was twice as good as the book with a twist at the end” I can hardly wait……so Im going to the range and hit some one and two irons…..watch yer bobber….juice
Wow.
All I can say about that review is “Wow”.
Do you really take yourself, and the game of golf so seriously that you can’t allow yourself to enjoy a fictional story that isn’t 100% realistically accurate? The Green was the first McAllister book I picked up. I finished the book the day after I bought it, it was that hard to put down. I don’t for one moment believe that you couldn’t put the book down because you were “waiting for the “haywire,” interesting, or believable parts” The book is a wonderful, light-hearted look at a GAME that takes itself and its traditions just a little too seriously.
I’d recommend it to anyone…and since your review is five years old now there should be plenty of them available on Amazon as used books under $2.
The modern sci-fi and “human hero” movies rely heavily on “suspension of disbelief” in order to succeed at telling their story, but that suspension must be easy to come by or the movie fails for precisely the same reason this book fails: it’s impossible to suspend your disbelief long enough to enjoy the book.
Readers of this review, please take it with a large grain of salt. “The Green” is a great read and laugh-out-loud funny throughout. If you’re unable to enjoy a book that isn’t intended to stay within the confines of “real life,” you probably won’t enjoy it. Otherwise, do yourself a big favor and give it a try.
I hope the idiot who wrote this review is currently unemployed. To me, “Joe-less-than-average-duffer” the book was a sharp, jab-in-a**, to authority on golf in general. The idea that a “Tin Cup” hustler could play in the esteemed Ryder cup was cannon fodder enough to make love the irony of this book. My hats off to Eric for telling it like it is. Golf is a sport to be enjoyed, in all aspects, by us “commoners”. Take a break and re-evaluate your golfiness.
Sorry to disappoint you, Jim. I’m still quite employed. I haven’t read the book since 15 years ago when I wrote the review, and likely never will again. It’s not a good book.
Crazy thing is… you’re free to disagree! And it looks like you do. Good for you. I’ll stop short of wishing you ill will, however. Cheers!
P.S. I’m quite happy with my “goofiness.”