Player Nicknames

Nicknames are part of sports folklore. Fans are eager to slap a sticker on any player with a special skill or quirky personality. There are plenty of both on the PGA Tour. Too often players are veiled behind their own celebrity or the blasé coverage tournament announcers churn out. For my part, I think tournament coverage can be too sanitized.

On the other hand, perhaps its good that coverage is so polite as television can magnify one’s faults. I remember Bill Cosby saying someone once told him cocaine is great because it intensifies your personality. Cosby asked, “Yeah, but what if you’re an asshole?” Maybe thats what colorful tournament coverage could do for us, but I digress.

So I invite you to get to know PGA Tour players a little better through this installment of “Player Nicknames.”

• Phil Mickelson – FIGJAM (“F*ck I’m Good, Just Ask Me), Phil the Thrill
• Fred Funk – The Turtle, Chicken Hawk, Grand Master Funk
• Craig Stadler – The Walrus
• Eldrick Woods – Tiger
• Ernie Els – The Big Easy
• Retief Goosen – The Little Easy
• Tim Herron – Lumpy
• Mike Weir – Weirzy, Mr. November ($5M in Nov. 2000 and 2001, 0 wins)
• Brad Bryant – Dr. Dirt (given by Gary McCord)
• Brian Gay – “All Day Gay,” for his reputation as being the slowest player on Tour.
• Dennis Paulson – The Chief (When Paulson played with brother Dean in tournament at Valencia CC in the mid-’80s, he covered himself with moss and mud after disgustedly swinging his club at water following a poor chip. Dean said he resembled an Indian with his sun-reddened face. The nickname stuck and he wears it on the back of his hat.)
• Paul Goydos – Sunshine (It was given to him by Jeff Sluman “because of his ability to find the dark cloud in every silver lining.”)
• Paul Azinger – Zinger
• Billy Andrade – Chachi
• Davis Love III – Slick (as he is anything but), Mr. Rabbit Ears (for his ability to pick something up from 4 fairways over to distract him)
• Steve Pate – Volcano
• Dudley Hart – Volcano Jr.
• Steve Lowery – Yogi
• Constantino Rocca – The Italian Bandit
• John Daly – Long John
• Shigeki Maruyama – The Smiling Assassin
• David Lynn – Shoulders
• Fred Couples – Boom Boom
• Mike Reid – Radar (because he is “one of the straightest drivers on tour” and “because he looks a little bit like the character in M*A*S*H*.”)
• David Duval – Double D
• K.J. Choi – Tank (powerlifter in his youth could squat 350 lbs as a 95-lb 13-year-old)
• Miguel Angel Jimenez – The Mechanic, Crime (it too doesn’t pay)
• Corey Pavin – The Bulldog
• Craig Parry – Popeye (big forearms)
• Greg Norman – The (Great White) Shark
• Loren Roberts – Boss of the Moss (as one of the world’s best putters)
• Jesper Parnevik – The Pink Panther, The Swedish Pimp (given by Alice Cooper)
• Thomas Bjorn – Van Helsing (after withdrawing from a tournament to “fight his demons”)
• Mark Roe – Trigger (after admitting that, when getting divorced, and generally having a terrible time in his life, sat in an outhouse, put a shotgun in his mouth and considered ending it all)
• Paul Lawrie – Chippy (has a fondness for practicing the short game)
• Gavin Coles – The Angry Ant (given by fellow Aussie Peter Lonard for his terrible temper)