If I Was King of Golf

There are going to be some changes ’round here.

Trap Five LogoMarch is the cruelest month above the Mason-Dixon Line. It teases us with the breath of Spring from time to time, and then blasts us with more snow and cold winds. It’s a time of year that can drive a golfer to fits of lunacy… like imagining what it would be like to be King of Golf.

I don’t mean imagining what it would be like to “the King,” Arnie (in the day, that had to be a blast), or golf’s current king, Tiger (I suspect that wouldn’t suck, either). No, I mean, what would I change about golf, if I could change anything I wanted to.

Naturally, I want to reverse my handicap. Go from my -9 to a +9, and see what the PGA Tour is really all about. But that’s too easy. Everyone would want to do the same thing. I’m more concerned with the bigger questions of golf. Here are five things that, with tongue more or less in cheek, I’d like to see changed about golf.

The Tiger Effect

All Tiger All the Time

Trap Five LogoWell, Tiger’s back (though he’ll be taking the weekend off). I, for one, am happy that he’s back. Sure it was interesting to see more press about some of the other guys on Tour, but they just don’t have the same impact that Tiger does, on Tour and beyond.

We’ve experienced a beehive of buzz (or maybe several) in the week since Tiger announced that he would participate in the WGC-Accenture Match Play. That Samuel L. Jackson spot on Golf Channel was out less than 12 hours after the announcement. Nike wasn’t far behind with its new “The Good Life” where five pros live it up until you-know-who walks back into the locker room. The marketing machine runs at full speed when Tiger is involved.

Most Impactful Innovations in Golf

Talking ’bout a revolution. Several really.

Trap Five LogoA recent forum post by a Carmelo Anthony fan got me thinking about the how the game of golf got to the point it is today. Respondents posted a number of very good candidates: the hybrid club, the 460cc driver, the sand wedge, and more.

A surprise in the thread on golf’s top inventions/innovations of the last 100 years was the number of people who included the backpack or two-strap carry bag in their lists of the top inventions/innovations in golf over the past 100 years. Not to dismiss the impact of the modern strap systems for carry bags, they have undoubtedly saved many backs and just generally made the game more enjoyable for others, but I don’t feel that it’s revolutionized the game. It has made it more comfortable to be sure.

The golf tee would have made my list, but the modern tee is between 110-120 years old and thus missed the cutoff. Before the tee was developed, players placed their golf balls on little piles of sand to begin play on a hole. Imagine trying to hit a 460cc driver off a pile of sand! No thanks.

The game of golf has changed tremendously in the past 100 years. Here are the innovations that I think most changed the game.

Golf in a Crummy Economy

Sure the 401K is shot, but the golf might be good.

Trap Five LogoNot to state the obvious, but the economy is in a dismal state. The news is full of dire reports of mass layoffs and foreclosures. We’ve all seen enough of that to make us sick.

Golf is certainly not immune to the effects of these frightening times. If you’ve lost your job, golf naturally drops down the priorities list pretty quickly. We’ve already discussed how tournament sponsorships are being affected. We’re also likely to lose even more courses this year than we have over the past few years. And unlike those years when most courses that go out of business get plowed under for condos and housing, this year the courses that fail may well sit there, becoming ungroomed grass and weed farms. The PGA Tour Network, the radio voice of the PGA Tour, is threatened by the Sirius XM freefall.

If you plan to buck what could very well be a widespread trend this year and make golf part of your personal economic stimulus plan, you may find that you can stretch your golfing dollars a little farther. In the spirit of making lemonade when the world gives you lemons, here are five ways that the current economy might just give golfers a bit of a break this year.

The Stories of 2009

Lie angles, Tiger, the Race to Dubai… Oh my!

Trap Five LogoThe 2009 golf season is underway, despite what the foot of snow and ice outside my door would indicate. Out in Arizona, the Loudest Golf Tournament in the World is underway. Down in Florida, the PGA Merchandise Show is providing first looks at lots of new toys.

It should be an interesting year of golf. Will the younger players continue to win tournaments? Is Sergio about to make good on the promise he’s shown for years? Will Vijay’s success in the FedExCup carry over in 200? Can Kenny Perry continue to win on the PGA Tour as he nears 50? And just how badly will the economy hit the game we love?

These and other questions remain to be answered in 2009. Here are five of what, if not the absolutely biggest, will certainly be among the most interesting stories to watch.

Five Not-so-Fearless Predictions for 2009

A few sure things to look for in 2009.

Trap Five LogoMy crystal ball seems to have developed an astigmatism of late. My fantasy football team, the Big Darby Beer Mussels, finished 3-13. I was so far down in the office bowl picks that I nearly won my entry money back for coming in last.

So it was with some trepidation that I revisited the Fearless Predictions that I made for 2008 in golf. Here’s how I fared:

I predicted Tiger would win majors (plural). A balky putter at the Masters and a destroyed knee that made him miss the final two majors kept that from happening. But that U.S. Open win was really something! And it went extra holes… twice! Surely that counts for two, right? No, not buying it? Okay, 0-1.

Five Things You Might Not Know about Q-School

There’s a lot of Pepto-Bismol being sold in La Quinta and Daytona Beach this week.

Trap Five LogoThere’s a lot of Pepto-Bismol being sold in La Quinta this week. At PGA West, 161 of the best golfers not to have their PGA Tour card for 2009 are playing for their futures. The field is an odd mix of the familiar and unfamiliar.

Bob May once nearly took down Tiger Woods in the 2000 PGA Championship at Valhalla, but now he’s just hoping to regain his card at Q-School. Frank Lickliter II won the 2007 edition of Q-School, but he’s back, too. Notah Begay III, Carlos Franco, Glen Day, Robert Garrigus, and Harrison Frazar are teeing it up with Major Manning, Alex Aragon, Vance Veazey, and the Golf Channel “Big Break” alumni James Nitties and Tommy “Two-Gloves” Gainey, all vying for the coveted PGA Tour card that will give them a shot at very comfortable living for life.

Range Rats!

Some people can drive you to shoot chile peppers at Lee Janzen.

Trap Five LogoAh, the range! It’s the place where most of us work on our games. If you’re like me, you go through a jumbo bucket or so every week… sometimes two when the game necessitates it.

I’ve had some great experiences at ranges. Once, back when the LPGA used to come to town, I found myself hitting shots next to Vicki Goetze-Ackerman, whose best career finish is T2. Now, as a top-level professional, I’d have expected any LPGA player to be pretty consistent. But hitting balls there beside her, I quickly learned just how consistent these players are. She was hitting irons to a target green, and every shot was landing within a circle about ten feet in circumference. Not only that, but each consecutive shot seemed to follow the hole in the air punched by the shot before it. It was amazing… and humbling. But it also taught me just how consistent you have to be to play really good golf.

What’s to Like about Cold Weather Golf?

Swinging into winter.

Trap Five LogoWell, once again, November is breathing its chilly breath on all golfers in the northern latitudes. I’m not happy about it, but what can you do?

Now, those of you with true four-season golf weather will have trouble relating to this one. But for all my fellow northern golfers who have either already put up the clubs for the season or are contemplating doing so in the near future. To them, I say, don’t do it.

Yes, the best golf of 2008 is probably behind us, but we can still get out there and win a few bucks from our friends, or, at the very least, chase a few Canada Geese around the fairway. I say, if you can get out there without icing up, why not tee it up. Throw on a few, or several, layers. Start with a warm, thin mockneck and build from there.

Not convinced that cold weather golf can be fun? Here are five reasons to play golf all year long.