Long Drive on ESPN Christmas Day

Watch the RE/MAX World Long Drive Championships on ESPN on Christmas day.

The RE/MAX World Long Drive Championship, despite what’s advertised on their site, will be televised on ESPN on Christmas day from 3-4:30pm EST. For those interested in Callaway’s new driver, the 454, they’ll be interested to know that the winner in the Open division, David Mobley, used the Big Bertha Titanium 454 and crushed a winning drive an amazing 377 yards.

Big Bertha 454

Callaway also introduced their X-18 irons today. Todd, our very own Mr. Callaway, will probably post news of the 454 and the X-18s soon.

Blonde Ambition: Big Break II Finale

Kip Henley III survives a soap opera or two, a zany jackass, and 20 holes of golf to capture the Big Break II.

Big Break IIKip Henley III drew the ace and won the Big Break II in a 20-hole playoff against Don “Ninja Turtle” Donatello. Here’s the recap.

Kip, hitting first, split the first fairway with his 2I. Don struggled to get his nerves in check, but also split the fairway. Driving to his ball, Don says of Kip “Our friendship is over, and when we get finished our friendship will be back.” Each hit their approach to about 18 feet: Don left, Kip below. Kip leaves his putt short and Don pushes his putt low.

On the second hole, Kip misses wide right and Don “flails away”, hitting a toe-draw to the middle of the fairway. 250 from the hole, uphill, Don hits what he describes as an “absolutley perfect shot.” It “hit perfect” and then kicked into the bunker. HA! Kip pitches back into the fairway and then hits to 15 feet from 94 yards. Don complains about a rake mark and blasts the ball thin over the green. He takes a drop off the cartpath when he would have been better off playing it and finds himself in soft sand. He then “tried to hit a perfect shot” but fluffed it. Thinking “I can still make the shot” he chips to six feet. Don makes Kip putt, though he lies 5 and Kip lies three, and Kip putts it to a foot. Don then forces Kip to sink his one-foot putt. This is only the first of many “Don is a selfish jackass competitor” moments.

Kip goes to one up.

The Loooong Green Line

The back sleeve of the book describes Newport’s journey playing America’s mini tours as “wild,” but there’s nothing wild about it.

Fine Green LineI don’t admit to being much of a book reader: I tend to read books for information or for escape. I don’t read books to find meaning in my life. I read books that make me laugh, tell me a few stories, and while away the winter hours when my gal isn’t around.

The Fine Green Line, by John Paul Newport, is not going to change your life. It won’t reveal any of your inner truths and it won’t improve your sex life. It won’t make you finally understand your father, your mother, your alter ego, or your fear of clowns. The Fine Green Line isn’t about money and it won’t tell you how to make any. In fact, it’ll cost you $12.95.

The book details John Paul Newport’s quest to experience life as a two-ish handicapper playing the professional golf mini tours (the image to the right tells you that). It leads JPN through a series of states, tournaments, bad shots, and lands him at the first stage of PGA Tour Q-School where he unceremoniously bombs, landing him in a Golf Week article about “bums of Q-School.”

There’s No Crying in Golf!

Bart Lower is defeated by Kip Henley III, and Don “Ninja Turtle” Donatello cries like a little girl.

Don DonatelloThe Golf Channel’s hit series (they have only one, after all, so it wins by default), “The Big Break II” continued into episode nine last week after yet another boring “compilation” show. With the number of contestants down to three, this penultimate show offered the most tension thus far. Viewers of this episode were cleanly split into two camps: those that completely despise Kip (aka Bleach Boy) and those that haven’t yet seen an episode.

The skills challenge, which would guarantee the winner a spot in the final match, included long-drive and putting segments. Points would be awarded based on distance, but the shot had to be in the fairway. “Imagine being as nervous as you can possibly be and trying to thread a needle. That’s what we’re trying to do out here,” said fan favorite Bart Lower “And if you don’t thread it, you lose.”

Big Break II Round-Up

Two weeks since the last BB2 update, which means two golfers gone. David’s gone after Double-D was able to hit it longer and straighter, and Colonel John’s out after losing a one-hole playoff (which took three holes) to Kip.

bb2_david_teeing.jpgIn a way, it’s a good thing that it took me so long to write up a summary of the seventh episode of Big Break II – in the week that I’ve been busy, there’s been another episode!

Last we tuned into BB2, the field of men looking for the four Nationwide Tour exemptions had been whittled to five, and we had watched as my favorite – Big Mike – had his putter fail him against Kip in the elimination challenge. I fully expected David to get eliminated during that episode; how would he and the rest of the field fare over the past two episodes?

Big Break II, Episode 6

Big Mike Foster is sent packing after he fails to learn from his mistake the first go-’round.

Big Break Mike EliminatedAfter last week’s incredibly lame “recap” show, The Big Break II resumed this week with six contestants remaining.

The fortunate six were split into two groups of three for a three-hole scramble. The winning team would be exempt, but the twist was that they’d be playing against a third team comprised of Garrett Garland, Randy Block and Jeff Brown from the original Big Break. “We heard some rumors that they were talking some smack about how Big Break 1 guys couldn’t play,” said Block. “It was nice to come back here and defend our honor against the Big Break 2 guys.”

The alumni team forced a playoff on the third hole, then went on to birdie the first playoff hole to send all six contestants to the mulligan and elimination rounds.

Perfectly Annoying

Peter Kessler and his Perfect Club, a thirty second bit of garbage that seems to run at every stinkin’ commercial break on The Golf Channel.

Peter KesslerAfter a long day at work, I like to unwind by plopping down on the old leather couch and flipping on The Golf Channel. There’s no better calming effect than watching some high quality golf programming, preferably featuring Kelly Tilghman.

However, in the midst of this relaxation, there is a thirty second bit of garbage that seems to run at every stinkin’ commercial break. Peter Kessler and his Perfect Club. These grating spots generally consist of seemingly ordinary hackers, knocking a 210-yard shot stiff. Very believable… hrm. In his smarmy tone, Kessler tells us we can’t live without this wonder equipment.

After seeing the commercial for the 5th time in the past hour, I think I might order one and smash my TV with it.

Big Break II Challenges

The Big Break II challenges are boring. Let’s hear some suggestions for new ones.

I finally got around to watching this week’s Big Break II. Thank {insert your own deity here} for PVRs. The first challenge (skills) was interesting, having each player hit four balls (two draws and two fades) around a huge obstacle to a green 180 yards away. The player with the lowest cumulative distance between their best draw and best fade was exempt from the next two challenges.

Then I thought they stepped it up a notch for the next challenge in which each player was represented by a small pane of glass mounted in a frame and the players took turns attempting to break other player’s panes thereby elminating that player from the challenge. It required a pretty low trajectory punch shot to hit the glass.

Big Break II: Jay Can’t Hit a Green

The viewer’s choice Jay McNair goes home after failing to hit a big huge green. Three times.

big_break_ii_mcnair_elim.jpgThe viewer’s choice for this seasons’s Big Break can’t hit a green in three tries from 180, 135, and 110 yards. Jay McNair went home without earning a single point in the elimination challenge. Several others earned only one or two points.

Who can’t hit a fairly big green once? The wind wasn’t that brutal, and if it was the camera sure as heck didn’t show it. The flagstick was barely leaning to one side, for example, and the green was “50 yards wide” as one other contestant said.

I like that there are three challenges each week, and that a player can be granted “immunity” by winning the first. Read more at The Golf Channel.