Golf Guys: Who are You?

I’m fortunate enough to play a lot of golf and therefore have a lot of golf buddies: teenagers, seniors, blue collar, white collar, pros and hacks. I’ve noticed no matter what your profession or generation, who you are on the course, is who you are in life.

Now, I’m not talking about how you look, take Snoop Dog or Alice Cooper, if you were to see these guys on the course versus how they are on stage you’d never in a million years imagine them in Sansabelt slacks and plaid sweater vests. Heck you would think you were looking at Payne Stewart, Jesper Parnevik or Fredrik Jacobson.

No, I’m talking about your persona. Let me give you a few examples.

I recently heard a sad rumor about Jack, a guy in our men’s club who was arrested for starting a bar fight; I can honestly say I wasn’t too shocked or surprised. I remember a match we had and I have never seen anyone throw their clubs, swear and even yell at a fellow competitor as much as this guy did, until then, I had never seen a grown man throw a temper tantrum either. I can somewhat laugh at it now knowing that I’ll never have to play with him again but at the time I was in complete awe. Hey we all have our bad days on the course, it’s a game and hopefully we’ve come to expect that not everyday we can set a personal best but its how we deal with it that will set ourselves apart from others.

Sam is another guy I play with who can’t keep count to save his life. You know who I’m talking about, the guy who loses the drive OB on the tee, has a couple fat shots on the way to the green, thins his chips, takes 2 putts and picks up his 5 foot gimmie putt for a bogey. “What shots was he counting?” Sam’s also the same guy who thinks his drives average 300 yards but really hits them 225. I’m glad I have a SkyCaddie™ with me so I can use it to measure his drives. I’m not trying to be mean or burst the guys bubble; he just needs a reality check. I’ve gone out for happy hour what Sam and funny how his counting skills are the same off the course too, he’ll order $12 in food and drink and chips in $10 when the bills comes, not because he’s cheap, just because he can’t add.

Now let’s talk about Greg. If we have a tee time at 7 o’clock we tell Greg 6 o’clock. Many times we’ll wait for him but during peak season when no other start times are available we’ll start without him and let him catch up to us on the course, it sounds mean but we’re not going to miss our tee time because the guy has no clue what time is. At work we do the same with him, if we have a meeting at 8 o’clock we tell him it’s at 7:30. I learned that the guy has been late his entire life; labor had to be induced because he wanted to stay in the womb a little longer, his parents were constantly getting notices from school teachers and administrators on his tardiness and he even arrived late to his own wedding!

Now let’s get to Bill, here’s a guy who has an excuse or complaint for everything. After missing a 3 foot putt he blames it on the blades of grass shifting to follow the sun light. Whines that he didn’t have a great approach shot because the grounds crew didn’t cut the grass correctly. That he isn’t driving the ball well today because his ulcer, sciatica or blood pressure is acting up, none of which he has. He doesn’t like the way the golf course is run and always has a suggestion or comment for the managers and head pro. He’s the guy you’re nervous to ask, “How’s it going?” for fear that he’ll tell you all about his life’s trials and tribulations in great detail.

So who am I? I’m the addict; I take my clubs wherever I go. I try to know about new products releases and test products before they come to market. I can rattle off the specs for almost every driver, shaft, iron, ball, etc. I’m the guy who buys new equipment almost weekly, not because I blame my game for it but because I see a new putter and fall in love with it. I subscribe to every magazine to read all about the history of the game and the players. I live on thesandtrap.com reading all your messages and opinions. Oh yes my friends, I have it bad, I even get the shakes when I haven’t play golf in a week. I’m the same off the course, buying a camera means hours of research and buying cars would be a hobby if I had the checkbook to back it up.

I love to people watch and this is more of a funny observation I’ve made of golfers. When I hear someone say “I like golf” I always ask if they really like the game or do they like a person they know who plays golf. That’s one thing I love about this game, that you can get a biker, rock star or accountant in the same foursome and have a great time together. Plus, there aren’t many sports where a teenage girl, twenty something man and senior citizen can play together and compete.

So who are you?