Amazing Whacker,
There are a large number of golfers in the world, and some of them extremely odd characters so it's dangerous to rule out such things.
I'm afraid that I broke your 'no way' declaration of truth in 2007 / 2008. I then returned to golf (age 57 years) after a 41 year break during which time I didn't pick up a golf club. An out of shape, overweight, 5ft. 9 ins. individual who consistently failed to break 95 on the local municipal golf course.
However within eight months I took the Senior England, Sweden, and Italy longdrive titles - hitting 345 yards in Sweden in neutral conditions. Next year I came second in the European Seniors' Longdrive Championship and hit 358 yards in the U.S.A., again without any assisting wind.
It's all well documented in results lists so anyone can doubt as much as they like.
Admittedly a third party had dragged me onto the longdrive circuit screaming, and I consequently neglected to re-learn irons golf. The fact is however my average drive was around 330 yards and yet I doubt that I could have played to a 20 handicap.
I'm still as long at 61 years and am now putting a lot of work into my short game. It saddens me that I had to give at age 16 years on leaving school as it was then far too expensive for me to continue. Senior rates kicked in which exceeded my then annual salary!