I am of the school of thought that the majority of ams play way too stiff for.their game. I hit a 7 iron about 165 to 170 yards and I play regular in irons and driver. I do however play a genuine aftermarket shaft in the driver so in all likelihood it would be at least a stiff in off the rack drivers. I also like heavier lower torque shafts in driver. Like most guys at my ss I can play either stiff or regular in my irons but I prefer regular for a couple of reasons. On a good swing there is no difference, stiff will feel and perform just like regular with maybe a slightly more piercing flight. But I'm a single digit cap and can't stripe every shot, and find that regular shafts are less punishing in terms of feel and distance loss. For tour players who flush every shot they can afford to play stiffer to get the lower flight, but for ams stiff does more harm than good. I also find that with long irons you need the extra height regular provides, stiff fly too low and roll out too much on the green. In shorter irons I find very little difference between the two but in the 3/4/5 regular are much better. Even in my 20s and 30s when I could play stiff comfortably I still always had regular in my long irons and stiff in shorter irons.
I think the best advice I can give is to leave your ego at the door when getting fit for clubs. Clubfitters wil do their best to get you into the right specs, but they often have a hard time trying to convince guys who see regular shafts as an insult to their manhood. I would put money down that nearly any golfer with a cap higher than about 5 would benefit from going softer in their irons if they play stiff now.