A golfer stumbles and bumbles through the door of his house several hours late and his wife greets him at the door with an ominous look he’s all too familiar with.
“Where the hell were you?”
Exasperated, the golfer throws his arms up in the air and says,
“I’m sorry, Honey.”
“Don’t ‘Sorry’ me, you bastard!”
“Okay, okay…the truth shall set me free…,” he mumbles to himself, then says,
“I just finished my round and was putting my clubs in the trunk when I noticed a young beautiful woman fumbling by her car trying to fix her own flat tire. I offered to help her and… I changed her tire.”
“Go on,” said the wife tapping her foot sternly.
“She thanked me again and again, and we kept talking then we went to a bar. The next thing I know I’m in bed with her at her place. Then I fell asleep for a while and came right home. I’m so sorry, honey, can you find it in your heart to forgive me?”
The wife stared at him, “Don’t you give me that shit, you played 36 holes today, didn’t you!”
“A ‘Great Shot’ is when you pull it off.”
“A ‘Smart Shot’ is when you don’t have the guts to try it.”
-Phil Mickleson