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PowerPenguin

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Everything posted by PowerPenguin

  1. ...about people. 1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time... I know where my watch is pal, where the f*ck is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is? 2. People who are willing to get off their arse to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually. 3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". F*cking right! What good is a cake if you can't eat it? 4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the f*ck would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they? 5. When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No tosser, I paid 10 quid to come to the cinema and stare at the f*cking floor. 6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?". Didn't really give me a choice there, did you sunshine? 7. When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it. 8. When people say "life is short". What the f*ck?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever f*cking does!! What can you do that's longer? 9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks, "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here, Knobhead? 10. People who say things like 'My eyes aren't what they used to be'. So what did they used to be? Ears? Wellington boots? 11. When you're eating something and someone asks 'Is that nice?' No it's really revolting - I always eat stuff I hate. 12. People who announce they are going to the toilet. Thanks, that's an image I really didn't need. 13. McDonalds staff who pretend they don't understand you unless you insert the 'Mc' before the item you are ordering... It has to be a McChicken Burger, NOT just a Chicken Burger you get blank looks. Well I'll have a McStraw and jam it in your McEyes you Mcf*cking McTosser. 14. When you're involved in a accident and someone asks 'are you alright?' Yes fine thanks, I'll just pick up my limbs and be off.
  2. Ok, but who's to say whats useful and not useful? Whats useful to me might not be useful to someone else. What do you get docked points for? Dave
  3. What do you get rep points for? Dave
  4. 25 funniest analogies - Collected by high school English teachers Supposedly taken from actual high school essays and collected by English teachers across the country for their own amusement. Some of these kids may have bright futures as humor writers. What do you think? 1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a ThighMaster. 2. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free. 3. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it. 4. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. Coli, and he was room-temperature Canadian beef. 5. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up. 6. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever. 7. He was as tall as a six-foot, three-inch tree. 8. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM machine. 9. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't. 10. McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup. 11. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30. 12. Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze. 13. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease. 14. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph. 15. They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth. 16. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met. 17. He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant, and she was the East River. 18. Even in his last years, Granddad had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long it had rusted shut. 19. Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do. 20. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work. 21. The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while. 22. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame, maybe from stepping on a land mine or something. 23. The ballerina rose gracefully en Pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant. 24. It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools. 25. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up. Dave
  5. I've seen someone hit their ProV into the trees so hard it turned yellow. Safe to say I pulled them up. OT: But does anyone know why some of us have lines thru our usernames? It seem I can't post threads or PM's or I would have asked via that. At first I thought it was me but it seems quite a few have a line. Dave
  6. I think the worst I have ever had was a plugged ball right under an overhanging lip. I just blasted it hard, it hit the lip and rolled back into the bunker. Then I spashed out and saved bogey. Dave
  7. Anyone at all? Dave
  8. So has anyone joined yet? What do we think? Is there actually anyone from the UK here? Dave
  9. Spare a though for those in the UK! Dave
  10. That sound like an idea we could use in the UK! I play off 12, so not what you would call 'good' exactly. I did post in your thread about irons, and recommended the Taylormade OS. I had a set to start me off and they were great. As forgiving and easy to use as anything you will find, and they should be at low prices now. I have no idea what the availability of golf gear is like in Spain so I don't want to suggest too many more options. Dave
  11. Welcome Trev. Is that driver shaft stiff enough for you? Dave
  12. Hi Manu. You say about a license? Is that some kind of golf license you have to have before you can play on a course? Dave
  13. I was actually going to suggest the TM OS's before you mentioned them! I started out with a set of these, and I have still kept them as a backup set, because they are still playable. Don't forget eventually you will get better so might sell/trade in you beginner clubs, so it's probably not worth blowing loads on them. Good luck Dave
  14. Thank you very much! I am hoping to work on my game over the winter and hit single figures next summer, with my ultimate target being below 4 by the time I'm 18. Dave
  15. Hi to all at the Sand Trap! My name is Dave and I am a 16 year old 12 handicapper from Worcester, in the UK. I have been playing since I was 14, but in March this year decided to start playing more, and dropped 7 shots to 12. Really pleased with this years progress. My home course website is in my profile but here's a few pics: I am also a member at a place called www.moongolfer.com which uses the same software to this I think? It was a nice introduction into forums for me. I'm looking forward to posting much more on here, looks a decent site. Dave
  16. I played with some skiiers last weekend. They said that they were skiing in the winter, and then playing golf in the summer. Sometimes the thought of getting out of the nice warm bed/house when it's 4 degrees isn't too appealing. But when the sun is out, theres nothing like winter golf! Just put some layers on!
  17. I've been playing since October 2004, when I was 14. I started to take it seriously in March this year and have got down to a 12 handicap (UK)
  18. Looks like it my day to join golf forums! http://www.moongolfer.com/ They have a resident pro (Lowho) who does swing chat and equipment chats every so often, and BBC RSS feeds so you can keep up to date on the latest news. PS: I'm not trying to take members away from The Sand Trap, I just thought it might be something the UKers are interested in. If any mod/admin thinks this is an unacceptable post, please remove it and PM me. PPS: I think the Sand Trap is a great site, I will be sticking around!
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