Second wife here. New to site. My spouse (BT began golf in his 20's a sport he could play alone) . Then he married in his 30's, had kids, worked 45 hours or more weekly and played golf nearly every Saturday, golf trips with 4-some once twice a year. Never taking his wife, never teaching his kids, excluded them completely. Saturday golfing was from 4 to 5 am to 7 to 8 pm. Long drive to meet up with the 4-some. Fast forward, his kids got into trouble, wife became addicted to substance, he divorced and stopped playing for about 8 years. Now remarried for 4 years and had said he gave it up. His gym time 2 days a week are his me time, his shopping is his me time, his yard and gardening is his me time, his TV sports is his me time. Now he's decided to play again. We are both retired.... I could have never been his prior wife being NEGLECTED the way she was. I'm fine with golf but not the way I suspect it's going to go. He knows this. I'm going to learn to play so we can play together. But he clearly stated (your not going on my golf trips). Yes marriage is balance. But just how much ME TIME does a guy need? Is this his new addiction, is this his MISTRESS? He told me a round of golf is all day. Then drinks afterwards. Is it reasonable for me to meet him for drinks afterwards? Is it not reasonable for me to go with him see the country while he golf's? I'm in a brand new community I haven't any friends who can do anything with. No family or kids or cousins. etc. Everyone at my church are busy with their kids and family. How do I give him his freedom with golf and not begin to resent him for it? So male golfers if you golf once a week, do you also take your wife out once a week, if you golf trip twice a year do you take your wife somewhere twice a year. Sharing a home and passing each other in the hall isn't quality time, and every together time can't be SPORTS. New marriage here how do I give him what he needs but also get what I need. I refuse to be second to GOLF. How much golf in one month is reasonable provided he's giving to me the quality time I need and deserve. Only a golfer could answer this. Yes we have been to counseling he was told he's selfish and he needed to change.
