Forgiveness and workability don't generally go hand in hand. If you want a median of the two you'll need something in the sem-game improvement area, like TM r7s or the Non-forged mizunos. Like the previous poster said, consistent distance control isn't really attibuted to clubs, as their specs stay the same. Distance can be affected by where you catch the ball on the face, and a more forgiving iron will help with that.
When it comes to deciding between steel and graphite I can only say "Get Fit" and figure it out that way.
For your handicap (if you really do shoot in the 100+ range, then you might be more satisfied with a SGI iron like the Calloway fusion line or something similar. That being said, you won't know which ones are right for your game until you hit a bunch of them and see what fits you swing and eye the best. Good luck.