I've learned how to play, mostly at Dyker and Pelham and Clearview and Marine Park, never played Van Cortlandt, but I have to say the riffraff is big this summer for some reason. I recently was behind a group that had 2 players take at least 23 and 21 strokes, respectively, at #1 at Dyker, which is basically one of the easiest holes on the course.
Learning how to play is one thing, but if you're incapable of making contact with a golf ball, you shouldn't be on the course. Go to Cheslea Piers or Randall's Island, learn how to hit a golf ball a reasonable distance, then you can go out. If you can't hit anything more than 30 yards, golf is going to be impossible and frustrating for you.