slash5969

On their honeymoon night, Lisa tells her husband that she has a secret to tell him. "I'm sorry I never told you before, but I used to date Tiger Woods." "Well honey, that's okay. It was before we met, and I love you!" They proceed to consumate the marriage, and afterwards the husband reaches for the phone. "What are you doing?" Lisa asks. "Calling room service. I'm starving!" "That's not what Tiger would do..." "What would Tiger do?" "Tiger would come over here and make love to me again." "Well, alright! If Tiger would, then so will I!" They make love again, this time it's more prolonged for him. Afterwards, he reaches over for the phone. "What are you doing?" Lisa asks. "Calling room service. I'm famished!" "That's not what Tiger would do..." "What would Tiger do?" "Tiger would come over here and make love to me again." Not to be outdone, he makes love to her yet again, this time laboring to finish. Finally spent, he reaches over for the phone. "Are you calling room service?" Lisa asks. "Hell no" he says. "I'm calling Tiger! I wanna know what par is for this hole!"

Saturday morning at my home course. I'm standing on #5 tee box, lining up my shot. It's a par 3, about 150 yards downhill with a creek guarding the front of the green. On the left side of the green along the creek is a huge cottonwood tree that blocks #6 tee box from sight. #6 runs parallel to #5, but heading west (#5 heads east.) The fairway of #6 is perhaps 40 yards or so north of #5 box. I hear "fore!" and before I can move or react, I get hit in my left side, around towards my back, about 4 inches above my hip bone and about 3 inches below my rib cage - right in the meat. A friend had teed off on #6, about 180 yards away, and he pulled it straight left off the box. It miraculously went right through the cottonwood tree and hit me dead solid on the fly. This friend hits the ball hard, and he's long, long, long. I thought I'd been shot. I've got a circle-shaped bruise where the ball hit. It's looking better today. Sunday night it had about every color in it you could imagine. It's pretty tender to the touch still, but I'm definitely going to survive. I know I never want to get hit again. The best line about it came from my buddy. "I'm sure glad that didn't hit you in the head! That would;ve made for a long round of golf - hit the ball, drag Dave. Hit the ball, drag Dave." I'm wondering how stupid I'd look wearing my motorcycle helmet in my Saturday four-ball.

I'll play. My home course is 70.8/124 @ 6507 yards from the blue tees. I'm averaging 85 over the last month or so, with an 81 for low round and a 95 for high. I shot 88 yesterday. The red tees are 67.6/118 @ 5125 yards. My regular group plams to play the reds on Saturday the 18th. Should be interesting. I'm predicting an 80 for my score. The greens are a little rough right now, so it's hard to get a putt to roll like it should. I figure to hit a few more greens in regulation, and I'm assuming I'll make at least a couple of birdies. *Crosses fingers*

I know I'm coming way late to this thread, but I would be tickled pink to hit a drive 250 yards. A good one for me is more like 220, and most are closer to 200. They are, however, right down the middle - almost every time. My index has dropped from 22.6 to under 15 over the last three months, and it hasn't been because I murder drives. I chip and putt well, because I spend a lot of time practicing chipping and putting. I don't see golf as being about how big my weenus is, it's about how low I can get my scores. My .02 cents - your mileage may vary.

4. Yesterday. Including 2 of the first 3 and 3 of the first 7.

Everyone under age 60 is playing the blue tees, regardless of handicap. My partner and I scrambled the front 9 last night after work. We were 1 over, with one birdie and two bogeys. My partner hit last off the tee, and I putted last. It worked fairly well. This should be fun - I'm really looking forward to the weekend. Thanks for the advice!

Thanks for the pointers. I figure we'll need to stay around par to have a shot in our flight, and now we'll at least have some sort of plan in place.

I'm playing in a two-man scramble this coming weekend at my club. It's 18 holes per day over the three day weekend. My playing partner is about the same as I am, handicap-wise. He hits the ball further than I do, but my chipping and putting is a bit sharper for the most part. Any ideas out there as far as strategy? I'm thinking I should tee-off first, aiming to put one safely in play down the middle, letting my partner go for the long one if he can. I'm thinking I should probably putt last, getting reads off of his first putts. Beyond that I'm pretty much in the dark since this'll be my first real scramble in a tournament. Thanks in advance for any help!

I'm less than a year in after a 10 year lay-off from golf. I played poorly for the most part before I quit. I had a nice touch around the greens, and I could make some putts, but my long game was always pretty bad. Last summer, an old golfing buddy enticed me back out. I fell in love with the game again, and decided that I was going to learn how to hit a golf ball properly. I joined the local country club and I signed up for a series of lessons. My practice routine involves spending the first 30 minutes or so working on the previous lesson. Then I spend another 20 - 30 minutes on irons, because I need it. The last 12 or 15 balls I hit the driver - I've gained 20 yards or so since my first lesson, but I need 20 or 30 more. Then I chip for 20 -30 minutes from all around the chipping green, playing the last 8 or 10 from the sand. Finally, 20 or 30 minutes on the putting green. I spend about half of that time practicing long putts, working on speed - then I finish with 10 balls in a 3-foot circle around a cup, concentrating on making as many as I can in a row. My personal best at this point is 33, and my goal is to make 50. Total time is around 2 hours, and I do it two nights a week. Every other Thursday, I play in a 9-hole scramble after work. On the weekends I play at least 18 each day, sometimes more. Last weekend I played 36 on Saturday and another 36 on Sunday. All four rounds were under 90. Before I started this routine, I couldn't break 100. My goal is to drop my handicap below 15 by the end of the summer.

I'm not good enough at golf... to get mad over golf.

After struggling to break 90 at my club all year so far, I broke through Saturday morning with an 85 (42/43), and I followed it with an 89 (44/45) Saturday afternoon. Shot 87 (42/45) Sunday morning and an 88 (44/44) Sunday afternoon. 72 hole weekend. I'm golfed out for a day or two.

I play bare-handed. I hate that tanned look everwhere - except one pasty-white hand.

Revisit your fundamentals. Grip. Stance. Ball position. Alignment. Then take it easy - it's a game, it's supposed to be fun!

It feels like I just hit a lump of soft butter, and the ball soars effortlessly through the wind. I hit a pure 7 iron last night from 140 out - it had that feel. It stuck 8' from the pin and I made the putt - my first par ever on the hardest hole on the back nine at my club.

I usually play the white tees. I'm the weakest player in my regular group, however, so every third or fourth round we'll step back to the blues (where they always play if I'm not there). Truthfully, my scores are pretty consistent from either set of tees. The lessons I'm taking are starting to pay off - 4 wood approaches are turning into 5 irons, 7 iron approaches are turning into pitching wedges. I would anticipate that I'll be seeing those blue tees fairly regularly by the end of the summer. :)