The Best ESPN "Why Are You Watching?" Filler Sport

[Chilli Dipper]

I'm waiting for Game 1 of the NBA Finals to begin, and I'm flipping through various channels. The game is being televised on ABC, which in the same family of networks as ESPN. ESPN itself is airing a special pre-game edition of SportsCenter , which is not unusual just prior to a major sporting event. Now airing on ESPN2: the 2012 World's Strongest Man competition.

Now, any time you see World's Strongest Man on ESPN or ESPN2, it only means one or two things: either there's an event on the ESPN family of networks that it would prefer you change channels to instead, or there's an event broadcast on some other channel that it expects most sports fans to be watching instead, so it makes little difference what is on the air. This phenomenon is most obvious during the NFL football season, when NASCAR is the only sport of significance that ESPN will air on Sunday afternoons.

That's not to belittle the filler sports that the channel airs at these times, as all of them have appeal in their own right. They will never get the ratings football or March Madness, but their continued existence on the largest sports channel in the world means that enough people are watching them to justify their presence. Tonight's question: which niche sport is the greatest of them all?

The candidates include...

Billiards

Billiards are a longtime source of disposable ESPN programming; I believe The Color of Money has something to do with it, but I may be wrong. Rule of thumb: if women are competing, you're watching 9-ball; if men are, it's a trick shot competition.

Bowling

The PBA Tour once garnered huge ratings on network television. Bowling is far removed from its glory days, but it still beats hockey in the Nielsen Ratings. Plus, this one guy bowls like your six-year-old nephew does. That voice you hear in the above clip is ESPN's Lon McEachern; he'll be back later.

Cheerleading

Let me point out that none of the cheerleading squads in the above competition are affiliated with any team or university. It makes me wonder if there is a black market for mercenary cheerleaders for when it's the big game, and your team's squad just won't cut it.

CrossFit Games

Does anyone remember the really old days of ESPN, probably as far back as the mid-1990s, when ESPN didn't have 24-hour programming, and fitness infomercials would air in the early morning hours? Yeah, this is the modern-day version of that.

World's Strongest Man

If you can look beyond the blatant free advertising of a gym franchise in the previous candidate, you'll find that the CrossFit Games are ostensibly about determining the most functional and well-rounded specimen of physical fitness. World's Strongest Man is the antithesis of that idea. Footnote: the announcer in the above clip is Todd Harris, who used to be ESPN's go-to guy for this type of programming. They decided to promote him a few years ago to do play-by-play for the Indianapolis 500; it did not go well. I last saw Todd calling the college rugby championships; they are not NCAA-sanctioned.

World Series of Poker

Let's just say that America got way too into poker a few years ago. For it's part, ESPN was pretty saturated by the World Series of Poker, and they now delay the final table of the main tournament five months so that it can be broadcast "live" (or at least immediately after the hands are played in real time). This is the Poker Players Tournament, which the sharks persuaded the WSOP for people who thought the main event had become a sideshow lottery. The stakes are higher, and the rules are constantly changing. (I watched the video, and I still how no idea how Omaha rules work.) And hey, there's Lon McEachern again!

This is by no means a definitive list. I know there's some sport out there I've missed, and if you think it's better than any of these, please nominate it in this thread.