Rules in competition (even a "friendly" wager) - yes; evens the playing field; expectations known
Dress - criticizing "golf clothing" is as bigoted as saying you wear wife-beaters; however, as in life there are standards so adapt to the standards of your choice. When you learn to appreciate golf, you will appreciate finer clubs that have standards.
Music, alcohol, etc. - no music for me, rather hear nature; alcohol in moderation for me, fun definite yes; whatever you do that does not affect others or harm the course/club is ok with me - just like pets, your religion, etc...I know you love them but you don't need to share them or force them strangers.
Spark - sounded like a good idea until I saw the first week results; a single recorded a score of -11 for nine; 7 net birdies and 2 net eagles; missed the first week and won't be signing up for any of that "relaxed fun" in the future.