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What app do they use, “Pinder”?

I also don't know enough to answer your question (but fortunately, it has been answered by someone who knows these things).  I just wanted to add another "welcome back" message. 

I hope this can help;  I have been thinking of the top of my bag a bit lately.  I definitely want to echo the suggestion elsewhere about learning to hit driver.  I got lucky a bit, as by the time I owned a driver, I didn't slice that often.  Or maybe it's just that I didn't hit it far enough for the slice to venture past maybe the first cut.   Second, I would bet you have a lot more consistency with your 2-iron than you think you do.  What you might not have is consistently good shots.  That's something to work on, of course.   Third, learning to hit a fairway wood well helped me a lot;  someone who used to be (might still be?  I sadly haven't been active here in a while, to my regret) a moderator here made a nice video for me over a decade ago after seeing that I was confident for 13 clubs and terrified for a 3-wood.  Now I haven't the fear to hit my fairway wood. As for the top of the bag, I do suggest getting fit together.  I didn't do that.  My current driver is something I bought for myself towards the end of my first school year as a full-time teacher.  That was over a decade ago, and maybe I'm due for a new one, but I hit this one so well (SG:D rarely worse than the 10 hcp level;  I'm about a 15 now and have never been lower than 11.9).  In any case, that was in April 2015.  My remaining woods at the time (3W, 5W, 3H, 4H) were all Maltby/GolfWorks because reasons.  In 2017, I bought my current set of irons.  My plan was to also get fitted for a 3W and 5W.  The fitter noticed I hit my 3W and 5W, both current and the ones he was fitting me into, about the same distance, but I hit a 4W about a half dozen yards past that (still short of my driver).  I got a 4W.  At some point, I noticed my 3H and 4W were considerably separated in distances, while my 4H and 5I were similar, so I removed my 4H and bought a 19 degree hybrid from a used bin.  It worked great, still does.   At some point, around when I convince myself that yes, I really am back to playing golf on a regular basis again, I'll consider replacing the top of the bag -- with a single fitting, together. Lessons help.  A lot.  I got lessons early, then stopped.  Then I started with Evolvr, and went from about a 19 down to as low as a 11.9.  Then I stopped playing for almost three years.  When I'm back to having more practice time, I'm going to go back to Evolvr for lessons, so I can use that practice time effectively.   As you said, you don't know much about the swing (I'll admit, I don't think I do either);  there are experts who do, and finding a good one is worth it.   Since you've gone back to school as a mature student, you presumably know the value of doing homework and studying, but you also know that those only help if you do them correctly.   The last part I didn't see addressed in this thread is when to use each club at the top of the bag.  I use driver off every par-4 or par-5 tee where I believe the likely outcome is that I will be able to advance the ball towards the green on the next shot.  This is almost every par-4 and par-5 I play.  I use the driver because I can typically keep it out of the worst parts of the course and I will likely have the shortest distance into the green compared to any other choice of teeing club.  If I have to throttle down, I'll pick the longest club that can allow me what I just described.  If going long and [relatively] straight wouldn't be a problem, I'll likely still hit driver, even if I'm worried left to right:  I'll just swing a bit less.  Someone else around here compared it to bunting. My 4-wood is my second shot club on most par-5s.  On rare occasion, I have been able to go for it in two with a shorter club, or I did put myself in trouble and had to hit less, or had trouble I had to stay short of that I couldn't fly, but it's the most common second shot club for me on par-5s.  The hybrids aren't different from irons for me:  if I need a particular (smaller) range of distances, those are what I hit.  

If the caddy market is anything like the dating market these days, it’s a struggle.

Thx for all the insight.  It is only 4” top to bottom.  I didput the bottom at the 1” mark so the top being at the 5” mark is actually 4” (the tape measure had done damage at the end so I was not confident the 1st inch was accurate) at least it seems others find it an odd contraption do I do not feel all that bad about not knowing why it would be used