Lowest Round Ever (Must be a gag thread)

[Dent]

This can't be true. Found it when I was looking for the lowest round in the world. Huge Joke? Maybe I didn't see any fine print?

Taken From www.anyonefortee.com/Shots/Kim.html

Eat your heart out Tiger Woods! Stand aside David Duval and Annika Sörenstam! Wake up, Guinness Book of World Records! Your money, your victories, even your 59's, do not come close to matching the inexplicably unsung exploit of a modest little man from the Democratic People's Republic of Korea (DPRK): the Dear Leader, Kim Jong-Il. AnyoneforTee believes it is time to set the record straight and give full credit to a man who played a par 72 course in just 34 strokes. And before you say "Impossible, he can only have played nine holes", beware! Like my shades, David?No lesser authority than Pyongyang Golf Club's resident professional, Park Young Man, together with Kim's 17 armed bodyguards, can attest that Kim played the full eighteen, all holed out, off the back tees on a crisp autumn morning in October 1994. "He is an excellent golfer," said Mr. Park. Standing on the tee of the 340-meter (370-yard) dogleg par four first hole at Pyongyang GC, Park noted that "Dear Leader Comrade General Kim Jong-Il, whom I respect from the bottom of my heart, scored two on this hole." But there was even better to come, as Kim's amazing round included a world record five holes in one! But, we hear you ask, how does a man with a country to run, a 1.2 million man army to command and 22 million people to keep on the verge of starvation, find the time to work at his golf game? Answer - he doesn't! Small, but perfectly formedThe Dear Leader, faithful to the national philosophy of 'Juche', or self-reliance, has never had a lesson. Indeed, his heroic 38 under par score was his first and only round of golf! When he learned that this was a full 25 strokes better than any other human had ever achieved, far from being tempted to take the game up seriously, he decided that there were greater challenges to his intellect and atheletic ability, and has not touched a club since. So why have we not heard more about the greatest round of golf in the history of the game? AnyoneforTee understands that politics has once again reared its ugly head. Western media are under pressure to isolate and vilify Kim's stalinist paradise, and are encouraged to play up its role in the 'Axis of Evil'. Governments, aware of the potential lobbying power of the world's 60 million golfers, many of whom are opinion leaders in the highest echelons of society, fear a tidal wave of adoration - similar to the recognition given to Tiger Woods - if news of Kim's golfing prowess is made public. So it has been suppressed and as a result gone largely unnoticed - until today! Tim FinchemIn search of an 'official' comment, we went to US PGA Tour Commissioner Tim Finchem. Seemingly embarrassed by our questions, Finchem finally, and grudgingly, broke the code of silence, putting a very different spin on the story. "Yes, it's an amazing achievement, but he's just too good. We don't want him over here. We're lucky he's got a day job as a ruthless tyrant and a fully paid up international terrorist. Otherwise this man could be really evil if he was let loose on the guys on tour - he'd nuke 'em for sure!" Perhaps recognising the economic potential of his phenomenel talent, Kim has also been wary of releasing too much information that could help Western powers. There are no photographs, for example, of Kim's golf swing. We do not know if he played left- or right-handed, nor which type of grip he used. Some experts have even speculated that to make such a quantum leap in golfing skills, he must have discovered an entirely new 'secret' to the game, far beyond anything that the great Ben Hogan may have found. We may never know. Could someone get me the number of Tiger's hairdresser?Yet, even without revealing his secret to the world, the little man with bad hair from North Korea has done the golfing world a great service. For as the debate about the impact of technology on the modern game rages, as journeyman pros wonder if they can ever hope to compete with Tiger Woods, and as experts predict that Tiger himself may lose interest in the game because of the lack of serious competition, we can see that there is no need to worry. Until today's so-called 'Masters of the Game' can shave substantially more than a shot a hole off their best ever scores, the ultimate challenge of the lowest round will remain out there. Knocking Kim Jong-Il off the top of the Dear Leaderboard will not be easy.

[ChiChiIsMe]

Not bad.....I figured he'd have an 18 for 18.......

[Dent]

Not bad.....I figured he'd have an 18 for 18.......

Haha thats what I thought, but how is this score even possible and it was his first round of golf!!

[Lefty39]

He didn't shoot that, His people make up so many stories about him that are false, this is just one out of the many.

[Crafty]

He also apparently bowled a 300 the first time he ever bowled... BS!

[Dent]

He also apparently bowled a 300 the first time he ever bowled... BS!

Ahaha I am so used to golf as soon as I read that I kept thinking the Lower the score the better so i was thinking:

"That score isn't that good, whats so good about that?"

[Razorhog]

11 holes in one! Not bad but I shot a 33 last weekend

[sacm3bill]

He didn't shoot that, His people make up so many stories about him that are false, this is just one out of the many.

Well, actually this particular article is a satire of the ridiculous stories about his golfing exploits.

[bruce]

I actually read this in a golf mag,it was his first time to ever play golf and he had 9 hole in ones,go figure,imagine what he would shoot with a bit of practise.

[Long_Ball_Bogey]

Not bad.....I figured he'd have an 18 for 18.......

That was the score I was told when I first heard this a few years back. Lefty39 is correct--according to "his" people, the Dear Leader can do no wrong.

-LBB

[twotacosfor99cents]

Lowest round ever has been done by 3-4 people, IIRC, and that's a 59. No lower has ever been recorded in official play.

... Then there are the 19th hole stories.

"Durrr, I shot a 52 at TPC Sawgrass from the championship tees!"

... etc.

[907golfer12]

This isn't a US media story that was made up by Americans, but Kim Jong-Il's story. He has COMPLETE control over EVERYONE in that country, especially his "guards" and other people. So he could have had them say that he got a hole in one on every hole, because all of the people there would have said it was true.

[watrboy4]

In the military I spent a little time in that area and man did I shoot some low rounds. But after all the drugs wore off reality set in......lol The coolest thing I ever witnessed was 2 double eagles in one tournament and until now I thought that was awesome. Shooting 34 tops that ......hardy har

[DJYoshi]

man that score isn't even possible in Tiger Woods on the XBox. The best I've ever shot in that game is a 50, and that was everything in regulation & under, a few double eagles & eagles and nailing putts from 60 feet away.

[twotacosfor99cents]

man that score isn't even possible in Tiger Woods on the XBox. The best I've ever shot in that game is a 50, and that was everything in regulation & under, a few double eagles & eagles and nailing putts from 60 feet away.

Pretty good! I've done a 52. Can't wait for 09 to come out.

[Dent]

Why would someone even publish this and be serious about it? Makes them look like fools.

Is this leader convinced he shot this score as well.

[sacm3bill]

Why would someone even publish this and be serious about it? Makes them look like fools.

Maybe I should say this one more time, since there seems to be some confusion: The article we are all talking about is a

spoof of Kim Jong-Il's ridiculous claims.

[JaY_B]

Well when your the dictator of a communist state you can make and support claims like this, who is going to argue?



By the way I am well aware that being a dictator would mean that ideologically North Korea is NOT a communist state.