Another one of these tell me what to do threads.... Anyone been mentally out of the game....

[WhySoSerious]

It sounds like you might be having an existential dilemma as much as anything.Golf has a way of not providing positive reinforcement when you need it the most, that little ball is a fickle little bastard. If your love of playing has suffered, that's easy, if your love for yourself is suffering ,that's completely different. You are going through things that hopefully you'll never have to deal with again, divorce is tough. Everything is temporary, from handicaps to emotions, remember to love yourself.

[Valleygolfer]

Originally Posted by dataris17

Do you play by yourself a lot? I usually play like twice a week by myself and once or twice with friends. I've been there that my enjoyment got sapped on the times i was out alone because I wasnt playing well, lost focus, ended up hitting like 3 balls per hole to try to figure it out and then just digging myself deeper. At those times i try to skip the solo rounds because I'm not doing myself any favors anymore. The rounds with buddies theres a couple beers, jokes, etc. That might be more the kind of golf you need right now.

I do play a lot by myself. That desire has lessened quite a bit because of the things stated. I may stick to playing with friends for a while.

Originally Posted by Deryck Griffith

I can only imagine the difficulty in what you are dealing with.  As newtogolf suggested, playing the game without keeping score is a wonderful idea.  Golf doesn't have to been only about the results.  If can be about "getting away" from whatever it is in anyones life that may be a challenge.  Sometimes the results ruin the beauty of the game and in your current situation, it is very clear that the results right now don't matter, at all.

What matters is an escape, a place of solace that can help you to heal from the issues you are currently dealing with.  When you play next, walk and focus on other things besides the shot.  Focus on the trees and their beauty.  Focus on the wildlife you may see running around.  Focus on positive conversations with your playing partners whomever they may be.  Those are only a few things you can consider that can hopefully help you see the game for what it is.  A game.

Good luck my friend.  The sand trap community is pulling for you

I appreciate the sentiment. It is sounding a little like a pitty party now though. I accept whats going on and made the choices to get these current results but the one thing that took me away from the stresses is not working as well for me. I have been trying to what you've posted but the focus is only maintained intermittently.

Originally Posted by WhySoSerious

It sounds like you might be having an existential dilemma as much as anything.Golf has a way of not providing positive reinforcement when you need it the most, that little ball is a fickle little bastard. If your love of playing has suffered, that's easy, if your love for yourself is suffering ,that's completely different. You are going through things that hopefully you'll never have to deal with again, divorce is tough. Everything is temporary, from handicaps to emotions, remember to love yourself.

Well I would admit the ability to stay positive waivers and maybe I had high expectations for this season of golf too. I agree about loving yourself, that it is the key to happiness. I am more wore out with not just old stuff but new surfacing issues as well. I don't really feel sorry for myself, it is just a process of life and making better choices. I just want to get myself back to enjoying golf again. Everyone has there ways of getting through things, that was all I wanted. Thanks for the input.

[robrey85]

I read "Zen Golf", it helped. Whether you believe in that kind of thinking or not, it's worth a read.

[Meltdwhiskey]

Originally Posted by Valleygolfer

Under performance is slight part of it. Looming nasty divorce stuff, my home is in limbo, have limited time in the place I am in but not sure how long,  and trying buy the right house at the same time. Bleeding like a gaffed tuna to lawyers. Usually this would all dissolve while I am on the course (divorce has been going on for over two years) but I am having a harder time getting it out of my mind and focusing on the happiness of the game

FWIW I had a similar situation in 09.  Lot my marriage and my job within a couple of months of each other.  Out on my ass.  Took both really hard.  I found that I had very little interest in things I previously really enjoyed.  Everything seemed silly to go do and a kind of a waste of time.  It was hard to be 'into' anything - except maybe liquor and beer.  I didn't even really enjoy the same foods or TV shows for a while.  It was a strange feeling.

The good news is that most everything came back.  I was (and maybe you are) just off balance for a while.  Having gone through it, I'd say not to worry too much about losing a little interest. I think it is normal. When the storm subsides, you'll probably be eager to get after it again.  I hope all turns out well for you.