A bird shat on my putter

[saturday]

I'd like to fifth it.... not sure what we're talking about anymore.... :D

[boogielicious]

Originally Posted by Fourputt

I have a bird poop story that even now, 4 years later, still makes my stomach churn.  At the 10th green of my home course, magpies hang out, knowing that there is good pickings after guys stop in the snack par at the turn.  They will hop into the cart, up on stand bags or bags on trolleys, looking for any food left unguarded.  This particular time, apparently one perched the steering wheel of my cart, and took a huge, runny dump on the score card.  Normally not a big deal, just toss it and use another card.  The problem was that this was during a tournament, and we had official cards which were required to be turned in.   This was the competitor's score card who I was acting as marker for.  Returning a different card, even with the correct score was grounds for DQ.  It was quite impossible to continue using that card, but we had no choice but to keep it until we finished.  It was placed in the cubby hole in the dash for the rest of the round.  When we finished, we took it in along with the spare card which we used to score the remainder of the round for the guy whose card it was.

The committee made a wise decision and transferred the front 9 scores to the unofficial card, declared it official, and carefully tossed the messed card.

Yikes!  Sounds like it is time to amend the rules of golf!

Rule 6-6 c.  Signing and returning a scorecard with bird shit on it.

After completion of the round, the competitor should check his score card for bird shit, especially the really nasty kind seagulls can have with clam parts in it. He must ensure that the marker or markers have signed the score card and thoroughly washed their hands with soap, not just water like some assclowns do (see note), sign the score card himself and return it to the Committee as soon as possible in a hermetically sealed plastic bag with the card fully visible and not folded, so the Committee doesn't have to touch that nasty goo on the card.

(note: Use real soap, the bar kind or liquid soap. All water does is give the nasty bacteria more room to swim around in. Then rub it all around for a good 30 seconds to make sure all the feces is off.  Use hot water too.  Be a man for Christ's sake.  This is nasty shit with all kinds of bacteria in it.)