Augusta National Responds to Longer Driving Distances

[golfcarte]

http://www.masters.com/news

Augusta National has had it! The venerable home of the Masters Invitational is taking definitive steps to combat ever longer driving distances by touring professionals out of fear they will render the golf course obsolete.

In response, the club has instituted a full set of new tees for the upcoming event, to be held April 9-12. Masters Tournament Chairman William Porter ‘Billy’ Payne explained, “Augusta National will be changed to a par 54, with an average hole length of 160 yards.” Addressing a question about souped-up drivers, Payne was overheard to say, “Let em’ hit the dang things!  A lot of good it’ll do em’ now!” Augusta National will also treat the greens with actual bikini wax, and they are expected to measure 22 on the stimpmeter.

In a related story, CBS has announced that Gary McCord will be replacing Jim Nantz as lead commentator for this year’s tournament.

[boogielicious]

http://www.masters.com/news

Augusta National has had it! The venerable home of the Masters Invitational is taking definitive steps to combat ever longer driving distances by touring professionals out of fear they will render the golf course obsolete.

In response, the club has instituted a full set of new tees for the upcoming event, to be held April 9-12. Masters Tournament Chairman William Porter ‘Billy’ Payne explained, “Augusta National will be changed to a par 54, with an average hole length of 160 yards.” Addressing a question about souped-up drivers, Payne was overheard to say, “Let em’ hit the dang things!  A lot of good it’ll do em’ now!” Augusta National will also treat the greens with actual bikini wax, and they are expected to measure 22 on the stimpmeter.

In a related story, CBS has announced that Gary McCord will be replacing Jim Nantz as lead commentator for this year’s tournament.

You have to be more subtle on this date for it to work!

[golfcarte]

I think Abe Lincoln had the best quote for today...

You can fool all the people some of the time, and some of the people all the time, but you cannot fool all the people all the time.

I actually hate today...I'll be glad when it's over.

[Patch]

This works for me. I like McCord better than Nantz as it is.. Plus, McCord had already reported on the bikini waxing of the greens several years ago. While Billy Payne is at it, he might want to rename the tournament the "Media/Tiger Woods" Major Tournament" since Woody is all the media will be reporting on his year.

[The Recreational Golfer]

Those all sound like good ideas to me.