Uber$winG

Compression drills

Quite giddy with excitement, I’m pulling for a nameless club-pro to win it all.

Got to tune those people out - and tell those people it's against the rules of golf to "borrow" clubs.

The Ridge is really nice - played in June.

Go with the bodybuilding basics: Squats & stiff legged dead lifts for legs (don't neglect calves), incline & flat bench & flies for chest, military press & lateral raises for shoulders, for arms do dumbbell curls (bi's) and cable pushdowns (tri's), and bent over rows & lat pull downs for back - do abs every other day, and eat at least 1.5 grams of protein per body pound. Stretch both before and after each workout. Mix in some machine work from time to time, but keep it simple with free weights – free weights strengthen all the little stabilizer muscles. Do 3-4 sets and keep the rep range between 8 to12.

It'll turn silver with some soft scrubbing, and the club also plays well.

Nothing technical, just keep on golf – watch it every chance you get, read everything you can concerning the game, play when you are able, and practice a lot. Continue to tape you swing and you’ll be able to identify your fundamental flaws and then work it out on the range.

Hit the range more often than you hit the courses. The swing is the thing for the purest golfer - this way you get to stay in form, at least until there is a little more capital in your account.

I would rather drink a syphilis-milkshake mixed by Michelle Wie than hit golf balls of an artificial grass matt. And it doesn’t matter what kind of fake grass were talking about… not even that Vijay Singh thing with the spring. We don’t play golf on Astroturf: Why would we practice on Astroturf? Although, I hear in Australia that some courses have players carry artificial grass swatches off of which to play their outback ball when said players have to play off a continent that was recently rehabilitated from being a continental prison colony. But that’s neither here nor there. I live in Colorado, and the environmentalists here hate golfers. This place is about as earthy-crunchy as you can get – I see people playing golf in Birkenstocks and tie-dyed polos. Everything is recycled here, even thinking. My friend thinks that golf courses are an environmental eye sore, but in his defense – he also sucks at golf. I kindly take the bong-hit that he offers me and tell him, “Most muni-tracks have a contract with their city to use community waste water in order to irrigate that municipality’s golf courses. That’s environmentally sound.” “That’s not what I’m talking about.” He says “It could be a park where people congregate.” “It is such a place, and those people are called golfers – and they often pray to the golf gods for good shots.” He goes on to say that the pesticides, fungicides, and the assorted fertilizers associated with golf course maintenance are harmful to the environment. I say that chemists and agronomists get to keep their jobs. My friend is a hypoxic trust-fund baby with no consideration or concern for the very real economic modalities by which the rest of us must live. He’s a punk with the very best golf equipment, which of course, is made of metal that has to be strip-mined from the earth, and if he had his way, we'd all play this great game on artificial turf so as to spare the earth the detriments of divots. He’s a walking contradiction with multiple carbon foot prints. My question is this: Should I use a 1-iron or putter to bludgeon my friend? Just joking… he’s not my friend. Really, my question is this: Should environmentalists just shut-up about golf?

Right on, plus...chicks dig the green jacket.

Balata balls were expensive to manufacture, but since the advent of Surlyn®, the cost is pennies on the dollar.

Jack said it best, about teeing-up on a par three, “Air offers a lot less resistance than dirt does.” Of course, I’m paraphrasing here, but the point is that it just makes perfect sense to tee it up. It makes sense to practice this on the range too. Also, I think that you will find it easier both to draw and fade the ball when you tee it up.

As the upcoming PGA Championship is the last major of the season, I thought it would be appropriate to put the question out there: Which major is more significant? Meaning, if you were able to win only one major, which one would it be? I’ve always been partial to The Masters.

Get a picture of yourself throwing the driver into a water hazard and use that picture as your avatar.

The brush-T's are great on the range when driving, I use them in every practice session. I do see a lot of geriatrics using them; but in reality, no self-respecting golfer would ever pull one out on a tee box.

Really, how tough is it to put on a collared shirt and Bermuda shorts and play by the rules?

As a way of ingratiating myself into the good graces of the silica-like “powers-that-be” I shall endeavor to respond to the question, “Whom do I consider to be the greatest golfer: Jack or Tiger?” I think that the poet William Blake put it best…”Tiger, Tiger burning bright” although Blake spelled Tiger with a “y” instead of “i” which is immaterial since he was writing about the actual feline of the species, and not nicknames, but I digress. Did Jack ever win the U.S. Open on a broken leg? Sure Jack had to deal with some physical limitations during his career… like being a fat-body, but that’s not really the same thing as a broken bone. Tiger won the greatest American golf tournament in an 18-hole playoff while playing through fantastic pain. Tiger will soon best Jack’s Major record – he’s only five from doing that, and only eighteen from having the most PGA wins (Snead at 82). It is interesting too because Jack is Tiger’s golf hero, or at least he was in his formative years. I’m sure Tiger is his own hero now - in what could be called autological idolatry. Quite simply, Tiger is the greatest golfer on this planet. Now, until we discover intelligent life elsewhere in the universe (and intelligent life means bipedal forms of recreation which translates into GOLF) this will continue to be the case.

I just love my nice pink font.

I work with some fine people and bad golfers at a hedge fund LLC.