Unexpected and so close

All year long has been something of a struggle. Haven't practiced much, my swing has been erratic and I had almost been resigning myself to the guy who shoots low to mid 90s, occasional forays into the upper 80s and occasional horror days over 100.

But then over the last couple of weeks, it seemed like I had finally found my own personal little swing key that gets me to make a good strike at the ball. If I have that in my head, I'm usually making good contact and seeing the ball fly pretty straight, maybe a slight fade, or sometimes a draw if I make my grip strong.

I had no warm up and I didn't start out all that great today. Double bogey at the first, with a 3-putt. But I worked on getting the focus in place and was 4 over after 5 holes and got to join up with a couple other guys enjoying this beautiful fall weather. Went 3 over for the final holes of the front, for a total of 43, but was starting to strike the ball pretty solid, just a couple of minor mistakes costing me from saving pars.

Then on the back, I go par, bogey, par, birdie and I'm feeling really good with the swing. It's not great but it's feeling good and I feel a confidence that I ought to strike the ball well. I also realize that if I shoot an even par back-9, that's 36 and I could break 80. Of course, I then muff a bit at 15, and walk off with a bogey after my par save just misses dropping in the cup. 16, I save par. I get to 17 and look at the shot. I think, aim center of green, use the strong grip and make it draw back towards the hole on the left. Beautiful looking shot, just like I envisioned it, it gets to the back of the green. Putt never was on line though, so I make par.

Smash my drive over the hill at 18. I then hit the second shot solidly but pushed out to the right some, still not a bad place. Just a sand wedge for my 3rd into the par-5. I hit it good, but it took a weird hop left on the top of the hill with the green and I find it about 30 feet short and left of the flag. 2 putts. 80. Best back-9 ever with a 37. Never really felt any pressure and just felt so good with the swing today.

I can't believe it some. All year has been such a struggle and now this one thought for me seems to work on making swing through the ball without flipping my hands. When I do that, the ball flies wonderfully.

Also weird was this is the first time ever that I was chasing after breaking 80 like this. The prior times it's happened when I've shot 39s on the front and then nerves would get to me and I blew up to 43s on the back. This was almost relaxing, the suddenness of having a chance and having a swing that felt smooth and good. Walked off 18 with a sense of disbelief but at the same time fully believing it, because for the first time in a long while, I felt a connection between me and a good golf swing.

Of course, now, an hour later, I wonder if it was just some freak occurrence, and I will be haunted for the rest of my golfing life by the memory of that beautiful fall afternoon when the swing was nearly magical. Who knows? I certainly don't. But I've got renewed hope again that I can break 80 some day.

If only that birdie putt at the 2nd hole had gone another eighth of an inch.

Congratulations!  If you shot a 37 on 9 then you can shoot 74, good job getting out of your own way.

Congrats man. I've been chasing the same demons as well for a while so I completely empathize with the struggle. Unfortunately I haven't found my groove again yet and I've gone from high 80's-90 to 100-105. Hopefully it will eventually click again for me like it did for you because these last 2-3 months have been beyond a grind and all confidence is completely gone.

Thanks. I think you're really right about how I got out of my own way on the back. It was weird how excited yet calm I was the whole time. The swing and game became so simple -- just go through routine, focus on what shot I wanted to hit, then do it. I didn't do it every time, but I accepted that and just went to the next one, went through the routine and played the next.

I hear you on that, the feeling of a grind, the lack of confidence. But maybe it will help if you also take some pleasure in shots you do hit good. Even at 100 - 105, you still must be hitting a few good ones. And when you do, try to replay them in your head, what it felt like. Because doing that is what I think got me to where I was yesterday. During the year while I've been struggling, it's also felt like I've been developing a better awareness of what's going on when I swing. It's now reached a point where almost every shot I can describe to you where the ball hit the clubface and what my body parts were doing during the swing. The problem I had during the year was finding a key that I could focus on to make the body parts do what they ought to do.

Then a few weeks ago, I think I found it. A very simple thought that pulls the club through the hitting zone for me. I don't get it right every time, but yesterday I got it with the highest frequency yet. I realized later on that I think I played my first round ever where every hole I had a putt on the green for par. Not always in close, but still, every green I had a putt at the hole for par. Don't think I've ever done that before, always at least one hole or more that I wouldn't be putting until it was only a chance for bogey.

I don't know. Now I'm probably all set up for a big letdown next time out on the course, but I don't feel scared by that. Because it feels like I learned something good and it paid off yesterday with the best back-9 I've had. Man, some of the tee shots were beautiful. 10, 11, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, just all of them when I was hitting a driver I just reached down and picked up my tee. At the par-3s they were the tee shots that you just watch because they're beautiful looking.

It's a great game. Even when it sucks, it's great, because you can still be learning while doing it.