Twilight Zone

[kurtbayne]

not that i go here often, but i've never seen a thread on this subject and i wonder what advice others have on this.

and i also have my version of advice that might help golfers in this situation

which i call TWILIGHT ZONE (TZ), a term from an old TV uh sci-fi horror show i guess i'd call it?

The short definition of TZ is where your round is going soooo bad, often seemingly from nowhere. TZ has elements of

(1) a nightmare
(2) a bad acid trip
(3) nuclear-powered WTF and unreality
(4) fly-in-the-spider-web struggling and despair

This is the real deal. This is not like the normal perplexities of golf, like ALMOST making a bunch of putts and not sinking even one, or for some reason I can't draw/hook a fairway wood, when usually it's all I can do NOT to hook/draw a fairway wood. True TZ is Alice-in-Wonderland, hair-on-fire, please God i don't wanna die!!!

You're wandering lost in the jungle, nightmare-drunk, emotions are dailed up to 11, your cell phone is dead, and your fortune cookie is blank

The most unbelievable things are happening. Examples:
(1) You get an 8 on an easy par 3, and looking back, none of your shots were really that bad. Yet you could have putted left-handed from the tee and gotten at least a seven.
(2) You duck-hook 1 inch OB left. So you reload with a little less hook, then proceed to banana-slice it 1 inch OB right.
(3) Fairway wood, tight lie, you get under the ball and it squirts straight up, yet no indication that you've even touched the ground with the club.
(4) You hit the green, ball spins back THRU the trap and into the water.
(5) Your first shank in a decade hits a tree and bounces behind you and hits the club president in the face.

In this bizarro world, hooks fade, slices draw, short is long, up is down and left is right.

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If any good golfers have managed to blink back the fog of unreality of TZ and found a way to finish even OK, I'd love to hear any thoughts about getting out.

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As for me, this advice I'm giving below is the best I can come up with when afflicted with TZ.

(1) GIVE UP. No more beating-in-your-head heroics on the remaining 8 holes to maybe grind out one more skin. Let it go, your round is over. Beating a dead horse is pointless, especially when you're the horse.

(2) 5 SECONDS - E.L.S. What shot can even a hopeless retard like you execute right now? I'd offhand vote for a 7-iron or a rescue club that goes half to 3/4s of your normal distance. Maybe even a 30-yard chip. The shot has to be so simple that you don't need to spend more than 5 seconds over the ball. One practice swing, step up to the ball, and swing the center of the club thru the center of the ball. Concentrate on getting your feel back -- swing E_ASY, L_IGHT, AND S_MOOTH (ELS). Do the absolute easiest thing you can think of, regardless of strokes. You just wanna finish this round in the fewest steps and thoughts possible. If something even sort-of-works, ride that dead horse all the way to the parking lot.

(3) HOW MANY IN A ROW? I suggest you don't, but if you absolutely need to play a game, the game should be: how many shots in a row can I hit without sucking? Not how many in a row you can hit well, cuz that game is OOOOO-VER. If you're not sure if your shot sucked or not, then it sucked.

(4) GIVE UP AGAIN - often, after you've given up, things will start to go right again, you'll sink a lucky long putt, or your 2/3s shot goes just as far as your previous retard-hero shot, and it felt great and you're thinking; man let me roll the dice one more time, i might be ok now. And my answer to that is HEY-LLLLLLL NOOO. Your only goal is to leave the 18th hole without feeling like the stupidest, crappiest golfer that has ever lived. If you can leave the round somewhat sobered up, with a lesson learned, and a modicum of confidence about your next round, that would be fantastic.

BUT WHAT ABOUT MY SCORE??? you know what? my experience is that my give-up score is generally about the same as my fly-in-the-spider-web-struggle score. But let's say giving up is 10 shots worse cuz your course is just a big cow pasture with 18 flags. So what. Your job now is to NOT fly straight into the web in the next round. While you finish your round with easy swings and clearer thoughts, you'll have a lot better chance of figuring out how not to get trapped next round. Getting into and out of the Twilight Zone is not about swing mechanics, or course management, it's a state of mind.

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Offhand, this is what comes to mind for my best advice. And I'd love to hear any pearls of wisdom that might help me recover better next time. Thanks for reading

[DocWu1948]

If it were truly the Twilight Zone, everyone who lies (about their score) would suddenly become 3 feet high. How embarrassing that could be. That episode and the one about stopping Time are the two I always remember.

[sean_miller]

If it were truly the Twilight Zone, everyone who lies (about their score) would suddenly become 3 feet high. How embarrassing that could be. That episode and the one about stopping Time are the two I always remember.

In the twilight zone, after someone in your group questions the all knowing marshall who's insisting the group on green step aside so your group can hit your tee shots, everyone in your group is turned into a bobblehead.