What's your funniest moment in golf?

[ipark1303]

Following the sequel of the moment in golf....

this is my funniest:

In summer of 1992, I was practising at the driving range of the Olgiata Country Club in Rome, Italy.

In Italy, there are not many courses (compared to US or UK) and there are not so many people playing (still compared to US or UK, but I heard that there are more and more people starting...) anyway, I ended up at Olgiata, one of the most prestigious and historically renowned courses in Italy.

I was practising from the ground and 50-60 feet away, there was the great Italian golf player and master, Ugo Grappasonni (he used to play in the 50s', playing also with Roberto DeVincenzo and Ben Hogan, winning nationally and internationally;...well.... long story short, he was the predecessor of Costantino Rocca, the Molinari's brothers, and many other Italian players)

He was giving a lesson to a new student and from what I recall, master Ugo was working on the pupil's backswing... apparently it was too short and he was trying to make him rotate his shoulders in order to make a longer, full rotated backwing.

Master Ugo was keeping saying: "longer, longer.... one long and continuous action... up to the back"

Suddenly, I heard this noise...for at least 4-5 seconds! I could not believe in my eyes... well no, ... in my ears!

The pupil, during one of his swings, maybe due to the mental concentration and physical effort required, farted!!!

It was the longest..... loudest..... high-pitched fart I ever heard!!!

You cannot imagine how embarrassing and funny that moment was! and you know, I tried to keep it cool and act as if nothing happened... just not to embarrass the pupil more.

Well, I guess that we stayed in silence for few more seconds... after that master Ugo said: "that one, young boy, was pretty darn long!"

I could not resist anymore and I cracked! I fell down on the ground and I started laughing and crying... "ha ha ha!"

[Hogan Fan]

I was playing my friend in a heated match one afternoon at Weatherwax, a nice public course, when he hit his tee shot on a short uphill par 3 into the woods.
He could never find his ball and I always had to help him search and would almost always have trouble finding my ball after helping him.
Since we were in the moment of trying to kick each others butts, I decided I wasn't going to help him find his ball and just walked to the green and began to line up my putt.
He was taking forever and I kept hollering at him to come on and take a drop.
After what seemed like 10 minutes he came out of the woods and dropped a ball and played to the green. When he finally arrived at the green I asked what the hell had taken so long. He said while walking to the tree line to look for his ball he let out a fart the turned out not to be a fart. He went into the woods to take off his underwear, cleaned himself up with some leaves. He had left his underwear behind and would have to finish the round without them.
This worked out great for me because he was so uncomfortable and became chafed from all the walking, I kicked his butt and had a good laugh all the while!

[flap]

While at bethpage one day and on the first tee of the Red course there are 4 players teeing off.Well the starter tells them one at a time on the tee box.Well this one guy is busy giving last minute instructions to his buddy and is standing on the box right behind the player hitting.The player hitting is right handed so his "teacher" is right behind him.The player swings mightly and barely clips the ouside of the ball with the very inside of the neck of the club.This sends the ball rocketing between his legs and right into the "teachers' shin and drops him like he was shot.Well I laughed so hard I had tears coming down my face for 10 min {about how long it took the teacher to get up.Needles to say the rest of the waiting golfers who saw it laughed also and we all had something to talk about that day besides golf.

[cdriver]

While playing with a friend who had only been playing a year, I witnessed this.

He teed up beside a creek on a dogleg left par 4. The creek ran diagonally left crossing in front of the tee box about 200 yards out. To play the hole, you should hit over the creek to the right to the corner of the dogleg and then hit your approach shot over the creek again reaching the green in regulation.

His tee shot was a dead shank an squirted straight right off the tee striking some broken up concrete on the far bank of the creek and bouncing back over his head like a rocket to land 30 yards left and behind the tee box. Undeterred, he took a hybrid and tried to hit it across the creek into the normal landing area. Problem was, there were trees blocking his path on the other bank again. He skulled it trying to hit it too hard and it struck the trees, bouncing back at us again, landing almost at his feet.

Bu this time, I have just lost it and had to sit down on the ground to avoid falling over with laughter. I thought it couldn't get worse until he swung the third time and pulled it so far left in ricocheted off a big oak on the left and went caroming along the left side of the creek for about 200 yards to land directly behind a huge sycamore.

My sides were hurting and he was fuming, but he let me tee off and as we walked down opposite sides of the creek to get to our balls, he calmed down and began to see the humor in it.

[cdriver]

One other story....

I was playing on a muddy course in Hot Springs Village with a couple of buddies and we were on a low-lying hole that had some casual water in the fairway.

One of my friends had hit his ball right into some sparse pine trees, while the other was in the center of the fairway, just in front of a puddle of casual water. I was on the left side of the fairway, 20 yards ahead of the others.

The friend in the pines was away and hit his second shot into a tree. It shot out of the woods headed right at the head of my buddy in the fairway. I yelled for him to look out and he looked up just in time to see this missile coming at his head. He jerked his head back to avoid being beaned and his feet flew out from under him on the wet ground.

In slow motion, he tried everything he could to avoid what was inevitable. He landed flat on his back in the puddle of muddy water and just disappeared in the splash. He emerged a few seconds later, his whole backside coated in a thin layer of mud and muddy streaks and spots all over his front. He was wet, embarrassed, and about to be really cold.

I am not sure how much my howling and crying damaged our friendship, but it didn't matter.... there was just no way I could have helped it.

[iacas]

I have a story that isn't so much funny as it is shocking. It's probably a "you had to be there" story though.

I was playing against these two kids for skins. In addition to some handicap strokes, I also let them give themselves ONE putt inside five feet at any point in the day.

One of the players - we'll call him Bob - wasn't too bright. On one of the par threes towards the end of the round, with eight skins piled up, I made par. The first kid Harry was out of it. Bob had a four-footer left for par. Harry and I talked at length about how he he should use his freebie here, since there were only four holes left, and he didn't want me to win all the skins as there weren't enough holes left to recover. Harry had already won six skins.

Anyway, after literally talking about the situation for two minutes - and measuring just to be sure he was inside of five feet - Bob steps up and misses the putt! Harry and I were flabbergasted! We couldn't believe what we had just seen! Bob says "If I ever do anything that stupid again just shoot me."

So Harry and I tell him, to try to keep things fair, that we'll pretend he used his freebie but as a penalty he was ineligible to win the next hole, yet he had to at least tie in order to continue on in the match (with a chance to win 9 or more skins). Well Harry and I tied with pars. Bob has a 15-footer left for birdie. We remind him "hey, just glide it down there and tap in for your par to tie. You can't win, so just play for a two-putt here."

Bob rams it almost ten feet past the hole. Harry and I fell down laughing. Harry asks Bob "If you have two putts to save your mom's life from 15 feet, are you aggressive with the first one?" Bob says in all seriousness "Uhmmm... yeah!?" I say, remembering his earlier quote, "You should be glad I don't have a gun right now!"

Bob was so shaken up he couldn't play anymore. Harry and I couldn't stop laughing and I won the next hole (and ten skins) with a double bogey and Harry and I split the remaining holes with bogeys to shut out Bob, 11-7-0.

[niblick]

During a scramble, a beginner in my group was hitting a wood from the fairway. He's a big guy, probably 6-2, 250, and he rears back, swings hard and misses the ball completely. We contained ourselves fairly well at that point, but he was pissed and took a second swing really quickly, just as hard as the first. This time he topped it so severely that the ball was driven straight down into the turf. He looked up to see where the shot had gone, and we just pointed at his feet where it was sitting, completely buried.

I haven't laughed that had during a round before or since. We couldn't help it, and he laughed with us, albeit with a bit of a red face.

[Mulligan26]

My buddy and I were playing a 9 hole practice round the day before a big match against the top school in our division and we were on the last hole of the day. Both of us striped drives down the middle of the medium length, up hill par 4 9th at our home course. We were standing at about 110 yards but with the slope it played about 150, my friend pulls a pitching wedge, his "normal" 150 club. he stepped up and took a MIGHTY swing and came down at such a steep angle that he completely embeded the ball in the turf. Not only that but the ball shot up and over his head and landed 10 feet BEHIND him. He took 6 and I a 4. The whole team including coaches and spectators saw the shot and needless to say my buddy was quite red comming up that fairway.

[RX Phoenix]

My buddy and I make the turn at a local course and are on the 10th tee when we see this skinny oldster come hustling up like a crab shouting out, "hey fellas, what'ya say, I gotta get my golf fix in today . . ." the guy has snow white hair like a clown, dressed in short shorts and a tank top, skin burned dark by an insane amount of exposure to the sun, and he's got a line of patter that is just non-stop hilarious.

So we crack our 3 woods and he says, "how much you wanna bet I can outdrive those shots with an 8 iron?" We say, "no way, we don't want to take your money," so he says, "OK, just watch," and he hauls off and smokes an 8 iron like it was a driver. We're looking at each other like WTF??? Then he's got a wedge shot and asks for another wager that he can make birdie by using a driver for the approach shot, well he succeeds at that as well.

Every shot he hits is a trick shot and the guy is just babbling like a happy lunatic and playing lights out. Cracking jokes like lightning and he looked so funny we are just dying from laughter. I laughed so hard I felt like jello and could hardly stand up to hit a shot.

It was a twilight zone episode, the guy was like some kind of ET doing impossible things on a golf course and we could not stop laughing at this wonderful clown who laughed along with us and seemed to be enjoying himself beyond belief.

Finally he talks about himself . . . the guy is a professional golf hustler from Las Vegas, spends every day out in the blazing sun, that's where he got his dark tan and bleached hair. He had a thousand and one bets, constantly thinking up new challenges to bet on. The guy was a magician with a club in his hand. I guarantee that he would take your money if you were foolish enough to wager.

His real secret I suspect is that he was so funny that you couldn't concentrate on your game well enough and you really didn't mind losing a bet to him. We felt like we should have paid him just for the riotous good time we had and we should have given him a round of applause when we finished, because he was a true entertainer. I doubt that experience will ever be duplicated.

Why he showed up like that we'll never know, maybe one of the 5 people you meet in heaven?

[cdriver]

It was a twilight zone episode, the guy was like some kind of ET doing impossible things on a golf course and we could not stop laughing at this wonderful clown who laughed along with us and seemed to be enjoying himself beyond belief.

Now that sounds like a fun round of golf!!!