Why is caring about your score annoying?

[3PuttKing]

I started golfing about 3 years ago and have been improving little by little each year (I started as a +20 handicap and am now a 12-13). I've always been a competitive person and after I stopped playing soccer after college, I turned to golf to challenge and compete against myself. I'm not the type of person who worries to much about other peoples scores, I just focus on my game, my scores, and my stats. It's a way for me to keep competing.

I'm also not the type of golfer who shouts/swears/throws clubs after bad shots, of course there is the occasional swear word or club head into the ground, but I'm normally pretty composed. When I'm having a bad round I'd compare my attitude to Tiger's; I get pretty quite, a little bit more serious/focused and I tend to mumble a bit to myself.

I've been shooting mid/low 80's all season, and over the weekend I played a round with my dad and two of his friends and I was having a bit of a rough round (finished with an 89). They were all giving me a hard time about taking things to seriously and saying "It's just a game". I don't understand why it's such a bad thing that I don't want to be one of those golfers who is shooting the same scores 10+ years down the road. I just simply want to get better and I hold myself to a certain standard each and every round. Does anybody else ever get a hard time for worrying to much about their score?

[njcl13]

Are you in your early 20s or late 20s??,thats when men are most competitive,i was at that age,its good you desire improvement but not to the point where every shot becomes life or death,the enjoyment disappears with having unrealistic asperations,it really depends on what your goal is in golf,ie becoming a scratch player,or being satisfied with a moderate handicap,or just playing because its a social pastime,i'm now the latter

[Harmonious]

For those that play golf as only a social activity (as you are describing your latest playing partners), someone that becomes quiet and start mumbling after hitting a bad shot could be seen as taking it too seriously. Don't get so engrossed in your own game that you fail to interact with your dad and his friends. Complement their good shots, show empathy when they hit a clunker, be a good playing partner. Consider yourself fortunate that you are able to play golf with your father. Enjoy your time with him.  Trust me, it won't last forever.

[SloverUT]

I don't think there is anything wrong about being competetive or challenging yourself by lowering your score.  However, I do think you need to be aware of your environment and/or your playing partners.  If you get paired up with someone by the starter etc then it is none of their business how serious you take the game.  But if you voluntarily go play with your family, who may not be serious golfers, you may be dampening their mood by your seriousness.

For instance, if I go play with my brother I know he is competetive and that we'll both take it serious and duke it out.   But if I go out with my boss I know it's going to be more social than hardcore golfing.

[ditchparrot19]

Golf is a game that creates unrealistic expectations. If you play a full round and take 85 shots, it's likely that a handful of those shots will be as good as any player in the world could've expected to perform on them. And when you can't do that consistently, it's frustrating.

That bothered me to no end when I was in my 20s and 30s. Now, in my late 40s, it no longer does. Now I'm not merely satisfied with a good shot but actually happy about it because I've accepted the fact that they won't happen every time, or even most of the time.

If you're absolutely driven to keep improving and can't be satisfied unless your scores meet whatever standard you've set, best of luck to you. But I've been down that road and didn't enjoy the journey. For this and a couple of other reasons, I eventually I just quit, much to the relief of my wife, who was tired of me coming home from the course in a lousy mood.

After eight weeks of being "back in the saddle." 'm enjoying the game a lot more this second time around after a decade-long layoff. I still want to play well, but my primary mphasis is on having a good time at the course no matter what the scorecard shows.

[GaijinGolfer]

For most people, golf is never something that they are going to make a living at, so its kind of childish and stupid to get THAT upset about hitting a bad shot.  I used to get upset about a bad round of golf when I was in my 20s, to the point I would get so frustrated that I would need to take some time away from golf just so that it wouldnt drive me crazy but now that Im a bit older things dont get to me as much.

[hendog]

When people tell me to "Not take it so seriously" and "Just have fun" what they don't understand is that taking it seriously and playing good IS fun for me. I won't disappear into my shell if I am playing bad (primarily because I've learned to grind it out which means letting it go and moving on) but I am not going to be a bundle of joy and pretend I am not pissed off when I miss the green from 100 yards and plug it in a bunker. Most of my regular playing partners get this and give me some space after a bad shot because they know I will be right back to myself once I deal with it and let it go (before the next shot of course).

As for me dealing with others who are getting pissed off, rather than telling them to "relax" or "let it go" I try to take their mind off of golf for a few minutes. Ask them how their kids are doing or talk about something I know they are interested in and get them laughing or having a good time time. Its definitely not fun to play with someone who is miserably upset the whole round.

[dak4n6]

Even when I play like crap I still have a good time. I gave up letting it get to me a long time ago. If you let it, this game will destroy you. Now, when I skank one, I smile and shake my head and carry on with the endeavor. It's about taking on the challenge, not about conquering, because no one, NO ONE ever conquers this game.