Grass Only… A Quasi-Narrative

[Uber$winG]

I would rather drink a syphilis-milkshake mixed by Michelle Wie than hit golf balls of an artificial grass matt. And it doesn’t matter what kind of fake grass were talking about… not even that Vijay Singh thing with the spring. We don’t play golf on Astroturf: Why would we practice on Astroturf? Although, I hear in Australia that some courses have players carry artificial grass swatches off of which to play their outback ball when said players have to play off a continent that was recently rehabilitated from being a continental prison colony. But that’s neither here nor there.
I live in Colorado, and the environmentalists here hate golfers. This place is about as earthy-crunchy as you can get – I see people playing golf in Birkenstocks and tie-dyed polos. Everything is recycled here, even thinking.
My friend thinks that golf courses are an environmental eye sore, but in his defense – he also sucks at golf.
I kindly take the bong-hit that he offers me and tell him, “Most muni-tracks have a contract with their city to use community waste water in order to irrigate that municipality’s golf courses. That’s environmentally sound.”
“That’s not what I’m talking about.” He says “It could be a park where people congregate.”
“It is such a place, and those people are called golfers – and they often pray to the golf gods for good shots.”
He goes on to say that the pesticides, fungicides, and the assorted fertilizers associated with golf course maintenance are harmful to the environment.
I say that chemists and agronomists get to keep their jobs.
My friend is a hypoxic trust-fund baby with no consideration or concern for the very real economic modalities by which the rest of us must live. He’s a punk with the very best golf equipment, which of course, is made of metal that has to be strip-mined from the earth, and if he had his way, we'd all play this great game on artificial turf so as to spare the earth the detriments of divots. He’s a walking contradiction with multiple carbon foot prints.
My question is this: Should I use a 1-iron or putter to bludgeon my friend? Just joking… he’s not my friend.
Really, my question is this: Should environmentalists just shut-up about golf?

[rubbery]

Really, my question is this: Should environmentalists just shut-up about golf?

No.

Environmentalists should shut up about everything, but especially about golf.

[golow72]

Use the 1 iron.

Any so called "envoronmentalist" who doesn't understand that a golf course is a better alternative to one more strip mall or subdivision should have his fimo-bead necklace stripped off and his favorite hacky-sac destroyed.

Great rant.

[Garthmo]

Idiots, Environ"metal"ists only want a cause to fight and complain about. I do think there are some things that should change like pollution and such but to say golf courses are bad, geesh get a life. Use the 1 iron, it's the only thing it's good for anyways

[polodinks]

all i got to say is....... Ahh Fkuc'em!.........











with a 1 iron

[TigerCurtis333]

No.

BINGO BABY!!!! Right on with that.