Why I've Quit Coaching High School Golf

[iacas]

As of last night, I quit as the volunteer/assistant coach of the high school golf team at my alma mater.

Essentially, I was tired of wasting my time attempting to coach kids who would just as soon flip me off as they would actually listen. I don't blame the kids for their attitude, but the actual coach, who never enforced rules or maintained any discipline. That the coach couldn't break 125 and doesn't know anything about the golf swing is another matter entirely. I'm saddened by my decision, but it only makes sense. I was wasting my time. The letter I sent to the coach goes as follows (names changed to protect the identity of the offending parties):

As we were driving kids to the tees (Jack would start on #7), I told him to tuck his shirt in when I passed him walking on the back of #18 green. I glanced back at the cart path and then back over at him. He was flipping me off. He saw me looking at him and quickly retracted his middle finger.

[Finn07]

Its a tough decision but sounds like one that had to be made. This game is about integrity and honesty, neither of which were being instilled by the head coach.

[ragontona]

That sucks, dude. Punks.

Any consolation, half those kids will probably regret not learning the game the right way when they grow up. I look back to when I was a teenager and gave up the game because I was a snotty-nosed punk. Later on, I wished I'd had the foresight to know that there were life lessons to be learned in golf. Plus, I wouldn't have had to relearn the game from scratch when I was 26...

[tartanjack]

Ragontona makes a point. These kids aren't being given an opportunity to learn the life lessons golf can teach. Any sport starts with discipline. Obviously, there is none on this team. As a volunteer you've done all you can do. It's an unhappy situation, but you've done all you can. My only wish would be that you copied the athletic director or principal with you note of resignation. Even more than the kids, the paid coach is the problem.

[DBake]

As playing high school golf in the fall and baseball in the spring the two sports are very different in the high school level. I had a high school golf coach that was out their to try and teach the important parts of the game (rules, game management, putting, chipping, and pitching)but struggled because he was not a very good golfer just a guy that love to play the game. He did the best he could have done with what he had. Golf is such a tough game it is hard to make swing changes in a course of a season because high school seasons are so short and the risk of creating more of a problem plays the higher percentage. Everyday was something new, we would have are normal days but then he would switch of the mixing and put girls vs guys or have each 4 sum compete in best ball matches. Still to this day high school golf is my best memory of high school.

I would love to see what kind of reply you got to that letter.

[cdriver]

Erik, I am really sorry that your coaching experience had to end like this. The kids on the team will be worse for not having your knowledge and skill available to them. It will be their loss and they sound too self-absorbed to even know what they are losing. Sounds to me like you did the best you could under the circumstances.

[iacas]

I would love to see what kind of reply you got to that letter.

The response was a character attack. I was told repeatedly that I was not liked by the team (who likes the guy who actually enforces the rules? I wasn't there to be liked...), told that I was insubordinate for correcting the coach when he said dumb things (like where OB was on our course to visiting teams, etc.), and so on.

Then, ignoring my ultimatum to change or I quit, I was told that my help wouldn't be necessary. It's become laughable. I'm not sure how the guy has gotten himself to believe his own version of reality, but he has, right up to his "firing me" (despite me having quit already) as if he's actually in control when he's not. And the kids don't like him either. He simply thinks they do. It's laughable, really. P.S. Teachers stick together. He CCed the athletic director and the principal on his response, and so my brutal response was likewise CCed to them. The kid who flipped me off the SECOND time will likely not be punished at all, true to form...

[ragontona]

The response was a character attack. I was told repeatedly that I was not liked by the team (who likes the guy who actually enforces the rules? I wasn't there to be liked...), told that I was insubordinate for correcting the coach when he said dumb things (like where OB was on our course to visiting teams, etc.), and so on.

Then unfortunately, it definitely looks like you made the right move by bailing out of that mess. It sucks because it's your alma mater, but maybe after a regime change you can give it another go...

[DBake]

The response was a character attack. I was told repeatedly that I was not liked by the team (who likes the guy who actually enforces the rules? I wasn't there to be liked...), told that I was insubordinate for correcting the coach when he said dumb things (like where OB was on our course to visiting teams, etc.), and so on.

at least you still have thesandtrap.com...

[Mr Bogey]

Its a tough decision but sounds like one that had to be made. This game is about integrity and honesty, neither of which were being instilled by the head coach.

I don't think that is just about the game, it is about life in general. Too many times I see the total lack of respect coming from young folks these days and I'm in my 30's. I am not niave enough to think that it happens everywhere but I think there is a lack of discipline that adults don't act upon.

I will give you an example. I was active duty military for ten years until recently. It was obvious that when the military went from a learning and beat down military boot camp to a "kinder and gentler" military. I started to see the new recruits complaining more and more about everything and talking back more to their senior supervisors. It is MUCH different than it was ten years ago. I think some of it is the sign of the times and heck you can't even yell at a minor these days for fear you'll get arrested or something. I know that is a little exagerated but you get the point. Anyway, I think you made the right decision, don't waste your time if the adults (faculty) don't care let alone the kids.

[MickelsonFlop]

I think this is a sad day for the kids on your team. As funny as it sounds, my team was the same way starting my sophomore year after our golf coach of 10 years decided to leave his coaching job at our school to pursue an AD job in another district.

During the time our school was looking for a coach, we got some guy who came in, didn't enforce the rules, and completly killed the team moral. Guys never went to practice, some decided to smoke and drink on the course, and one guy buried his putter in a green on a course we practiced at, thus losing our playing priviliges at the course. It was by far the worst year of high school. That was until our new coach came in...

He was a lot like you. He enforced the rules, kicked guys off the team for cutting practice, and put the job of enforcing the rules and such on the juniors and seniors. You see he made US police eachother. I can't tell you how much it sucked to be the bad guy when you're a junior on the squad; however, you don't know how good the team got when we buckled down and listened to what our coach had to say.

He had played college golf with David Toms, had a 3 handicap, and was a former assistant pro before moving to our area in dallas. Not only did he relate to us because he was younger than most coaches (28 years old), he also let us know that it was up to us to make things happen.

In less than a semester we went from placing in the middle of the pack at tournaments to winning three tournaments and playing in the North/South High School Championship in Myrtle Beach, SC.

Two of our guys (including myself) were offered college golf scholarships because of my coach.

The sick part about your story is the fact that you give your time for nothing in return buy a little respect. Sometimes you get a couple of bad eggs that kill a team, and other times you get a whole crate of foul smelling eggs. My opinion for you is to cut your ties and leave. When you leave, maybe the coach will see what an impact you had when you were there.

I used to have aspiration some day of going back to my high school years from now and coaching my old team, but the way kids are these days, it makes me want to puke! I'm only a year removed from college and I'm still amazed at the lack of respect 16 and 17 year old kids show.

Maybe it's my military upbrining, but I just don't know where you get off flipping an adult off. That to me is just unreal...

[sole wolf]

that sucks. Sounds like there were no team leaders there either. I did not play golf in school I swam and was the team captain. Nobody goofed off and nobody disrespected our coaches from my sophomore year on. They knew better.

Our diving team had a freshman on it that always was screwing around. One time I jumped out of the pool in the middle of a set and dragged him out the side door and threw him in a snow bank. Yes this could be considered hazing but you know what he got serious and became an asset to our team. (the coach found something interesting in the other direction yo occupy his time while this happened)

Sometimes no matter what you do the best way is peer pressure from the team leaders. BTW we were 2nd place in the state the 2 yrs I was captain.

[rockyt]

In high school, some kids were just like that. a few of my friends and I, who actually were good players took it seriously. The other guys talked bad about us, and it really ruined the atmosphere. Its the new breed of golf. Integrity and honesty < People sleezing their ways onto golf courses and the latter. These are the type of kids that i do not enjoy helping out at work (pro shop) as all they do is pester me about getting on for free and if i give em a break all they do is go down and grab a cart, being under age and not paying for it. And it just gets me in trouble.

-Rocky

[Rafcin]

at least you still have thesandtrap.com...

and notice - with the full arsenal of smileys there is no "finger smiley".... I think Erik's experience with highschool spoiled brats might have something to do with it

[elivate]

It's funny, I had a similar experience coaching basketball. I played high school basketball and my coach instilled discipline and respect from day one, if you did not respect him or if you acted like a punk you were gone, plain and simple. He also showed respect back, even if he was yelling at you for a mistake it was never a personal attack, and he also gave props when you did well.

I took this aproach with me to coaching and all I got was crap from a bunch of punk kids. I really could not understand it, they would screw around in practice and then when they got their butts kicked on the weekend they couldn't understand it... It is a shame that a lot of young kids have this attitude these days...

No matter how hard you try to tell them that they will regret not trying and not learning, they never seem to get it...

I can certainly see how your stuation would be even worse when the head coach instilled no discipline in the kids, and from the sound of things no respect, either...

[shortgame85]

Erik, you will, throughout your life, be faced with decisions of how best to use your time. It seems to me, given what you've described, that you've made a tough but wise decision to move on. Perhaps there are other venues in your community in which you may combine your desire to serve youth and your interest in golf, that will provide a more satisfying confluence than the recent assistant coaching positiion. We are often taught to engage with enthusiasm, but rarely instructed how or when to redirect our energies. You semm to have learned that lesson earlier than most.

[golfchief]

Sorry to hear you gave up something you enjoyed sharing for the cost of your time. Your team is not the only one in that situation.

[drizz]

as a high school team captain for a provincial contending team i think its crazy what your ex-team acted like. if they were on my team id make sure he wasnt playing in any tournaments until he appoligized or simply kick him off the team golf is a classy game and thats brutal!!