Check Your Bag Next Time! (warning: long story, only read if bored)

[bplewis24]

We all dislike slow play; that is nothing new. This isn't as much a rant about slow play as it is a light-hearted and somewhat amusing story about the group in front of us during yesterday morning's round.

I walk on by myself yesterday (Sunday) morning at about 7:30AM. That's peak time, so I already expected a 4+ hour round. I ended up getting placed with an older couple who ended up being pretty good. The guy was clearly a single-digit handicap and his lady-friend had a pretty solid stroke herself. I met them at the first teebox as the threesome in front was teeing off.

Mental note on the first hole: OB left, and all three guys are searching near the OB line. No big deal. Mental note on the 2nd hole: water hazard on the right, and all three guys are searching near the hazard. No big deal. Mental note on the third hole: water hazard left, OB right. Two guys are searching near the hazard and the third is dropping from the OB line.

As we stand on the third teebox watching them search, the lady in our group calls attention to the fact that they've been in trouble every hole so far, and we jokingly say this could end up being a long round. Play has definitely been slow through three, but still the mood is pretty light and it's nothing egregious.

As we are leaving the third green, a par 3 is coming up. Par 3 holes are where you can tell just how backed up a course is, so I'm preparing myself for the disappointment of seeing the forward group still standing at the tee box without having hit yet. As if we should be so lucky. Instead, as we walk to our carts, a gentleman from that group is walking up to us, having not teed off yet. That's the last thing you want to see from a slow group, but I digress.

"Did you guys pick up a club," he asks? We respond no, while all turning and scanning the green area for a club. Nothing turns up, so we ask him where he lost it and what club it was? "It's my pitching wedge, but I'm not sure where I lost it," he replies. Confused, my partner asks, "well when was the last time you hit it?" Keep in mind, now, that this is only the 2nd hole. How many times could you possibly use your wedge through 2 holes? The guy mumbles something about hitting a shot "right here" but never really states that it was with the pitching wedge, and doesn't really commit to a firm answer as to when he last used said club.

He seems a bit confused, so we just go to the next tee box while discussing how it's possible to lose a club on the 2nd hole and have no idea where it could be. Thankfully his partners were already playing the hole out and are just finishing up on the green. The club-loser (who will be referred to as Loser forthwith), meets up with his buddies and heads to the fourth tee.

Now we are on the fourth tee box, only to see the Loser heading back towards us in his cart. Is he coming back to talk to us again? His club search is slowing things down, and we are simply interested in playing. No doubt the club will turn up somewhere. No, he's going past us, apparently back to the 2nd or maybe even 1st hole to find his club. While he's doing that, we're waiting for his buddies to clear the fairway so we can tee off. A couple minutes later it's clear, and just as I get ready to tee off, guess who we hear sputtering back up towards us in his cart? You guessed it, it's our lovable Loser. I know what you're wondering... and no, he didn't find his (undoubtedly magical) club. Not yet.

Thankfully, instead of whizzing past the tee box, forcing us to wait as he zooms along the fairway, he stops at the teebox to allow me to tee off. A gentleman and a scholar, no doubt. I tee off, and as my partner gets ready to hit his drive next, the guy skids off instead of waiting. Now we have to wait for him to cover the 300 yards or so up the fairway to catch up with his partners. Oh joy.

After they finish up on the fourth green, we expect them to speed off to the next hole. After all, they've been slowing everything down looking for this club which they apparently have no clue when they lost it. Instead, the guy stops the other two guys in his threesome and has them both thoroughly check their bags for his wedge. Both guys inspect every club in their bag for the Loser. Meanwhile, they are right near the pin location, so we have to wait for them while they do this.

Finally, they just worry about playing golf. As one might expect, though, the Loser is the quintessential slow player: he follows every playing partner to their balls when he should be preparing to hit, he parks his cart at the front of a green most of the time, and can be heard chatting up his buddies on the teebox instead of hitting while the fairway on the next hole is clear.

One time we even had to wait about 3 minutes as he played out of a fairway bunker. He parked at the front edge of a long bunker, hit it to the front lip of the bunker, walked through the bunker to the front edge, took two more shots to get out, raked his tracks all the way back to the front edge of the bunker, cleaned off his club, put it in the cart and then went to his next shot. By this time, his other two mates were already up at the green waiting for him, and he still had a 100-yard approach shot coming. Needless to say, it was a long front nine.

Anyway, back to the issue of his club. As we cross paths at the 11th teebox, the guy stops his cart to joyfully proclaim to us that he found his club. "Awesome," the lady in my group sarcastically retorts, "where did you find it?"

"It was in my bag, under my putter cover."

*facepalm*

[bkoguy07]

I wouldn't be telling anyone I found that club, tooooooo embarrassing.

[pxc]

My story isn't quite that bad but it is embarrassing. I actually started typing it out but then realized it wasn't interesting enough to go into every detail. Long story short, I lost my LW, then my SW, then my Blackberry. The group behind me found both clubs and the group behind them found my BB. The SW almost went home with somebody but they apparently changed their minds, got it out of their car, and gave it back to me as we were about to leave. I have a terrible habit of leaving a club next to a hazard or off the green and then forgetting to pick it up.

[bplewis24]

lol, clubs are one thing, but your BB? That would have been bad.

Brandon

[pxc]

lol, clubs are one thing, but your BB? That would have been bad.

Yes that would've been very bad. I was very lucky that day. If I believed in karma I would say it's the reason I shot such a bad score. I had to save up my luck for getting my stuff back!

[BostonSully]

Its not always so easy getting a club back from the clubhouse. One time my friend left a club at a course. Next time I showed up at the course I asked if anyone had found a "John Daly Sandwedgel witha black/yellow grip black clubhead that was almost new" the pro said "oh IDK" opened the door toa room full of lost clubs and said nope I dont see one, I said I could see it right there. He literally acted like he couldnt see it and kept telling me no it wasnt there, so I never got the club for my friend.

I guess they think people just try and cold-read and get free clubs from them or something.

[BMac0223]

One thing I learned a long time ago. Always leave your wedge on the green! And if you chip in, I know it's exciting but grab your putter. Good thing about leaving a putter is you can't get too far without it. If a partner leaves his club near the green, grab it and throw it in your bag but say nothing, waiting for hilarity to ensue 4 holes from then.

[jetsknicks1]

I learned a long time ago that if you lay your clubs on the flag while putting you will never lose one.

[mdbuschsr]

I learned a long time ago that if you lay your clubs on the flag while putting you will never lose one.

NAH! I just heave my club back at the cart. LOL.

Actually I do the same, or at least leave it on a direct line between the hole and my cart.

[eaglecc]

A similar thing happened to my father in law, but he didn't slow up anything. What happened was for his birthday I found a deal on matching wedges, so I bought them and gave him one as a gift. On the 4th fairway he realized he didn't have it, he thought he left it on the last green but he really just put it in my bag instead of his. I didn't notice I had two of the same wedges. It was no biggie though, all he did is drive back to the last hole then meet up with us where we were, by then I realized what had happened!

[Fourputt]

This is the closest thing to a failsafe method. Leaving it on the flagstick isn't a guarantee, especially if playing with strangers. And I can tell you that if 3 players each lay 2 clubs apiece on the flagstick, then I replace the flag in the hole, I'm not going to try and juggle 6 clubs... but I will remind them that the clubs are there. Sadly, not everyone will even do that.

[vmsea]

If i bring a club plus a putter, i always bring the putter cover,and put club with putter cover.
Since I baby my putter, i'll always know right away i'm missing my putter cover if i forget both.
:)

[Koth]

My brother-in-law once forgot one of his clubs on the previous green. We were standing on the fairway waiting for the group ahead of us to clear the green when he realized he left his club behind. He decides to run back to get it. It's about a 300 yard run back, so he takes off, and I just stand there waiting for the group ahead of us. Eventually they finish on the green, and I hit my approach shot. I can't remember if I landed it on the green or not... probably not. Anyway, I'm now on the green lining up my putt when my brother-in-law comes running back up the fairway. Stops at his ball, and hits his approach shot right away. It lands on the green about 30 feet from the hole. I have now holed out and am picking up my ball. He runs up to his ball on the green, and without reading the green or taking a practice swing, goes up to his ball and putts away... and sinks it.

I couldn't believe it. After running 600 yards, he hits two of his best shots all day.

I told him he should run for the rest of the round. Oh, and he found his club too.

[vmsea]

I couldn't believe it. After running 600 yards, he hits two of his best shots all day.

This is probably what the psychology books mean by "not over thinking"

:)