Frustrated, at a crossroads - HELP!

[Floger]

First, forgive me if this is whiny, selfish and/or just plain unrealistic and exaggerated.

Today sucked. For the first time in the 3 years I have been playing, I threw a club. I played at 6:30am alone so luckily no one else witnessed my immature display.

I am at a crossroads. I love the game, but I am not enjoying it. I have alot going on in my life with a dying grandma and taking care of her and finding hospice etc and golf is SUPPOSE to be my refuge, to find some enjoyment. Then part of me tells me to suck it up, quit being selfish and ungrateful, that there are plenty of people who would trade places with me for just the ability to walk on a nice morning and be able to swing a club in any capacity.

I am sick of reading books, articles, watching videos and trying to figure this out myself. Can it even be done going at it alone? If any of you have, how did you do it? Although finances are not the best, I would invest in lessons if I thought it would get me to a respectable, consistent play where I could find more enjoyment. How do you find a good instructor or are they all the same? Or do I just keep playing as-is, accept the fact that I suck and be like someone who takes up running and never breaks running a 12 minute mile but just loves running, loves the exercise and just being outside. In other words, taking it for what it is.

I haven't been playing long enough to know where I'm at - just 3 years. I know there are slumps. Maybe this is one? I am tired of my backyard victories, thinking I have the swing respectable when hitting into the net or hitting low distance balls and getting the feedback I want only to have it not even close when playing. For instance, I was excited at the Manzella download of the former flipper. Well, I chucked that theory after 3 holes and I know I need to keep at it, but for my sanity I had to revert back to my swing that at least got me to bogey, double bogey golf.

I want to play this game until I am no longer physically able, and good Lord willing, that is another 30+ years, but I want to enjoy it.

Advice from the veterens on here is much appreciated. Thanks

[WUTiger]

... Today sucked. For the first time in the 3 years I have been playing, I threw a club.

In grade school, people told us that if we work hard at something, we would be successful. Golf seems to really test that wisdom.

It appears that you try to work on your game, but are not being to successful. First, serious life events can disrupt our playing schedule. Second, going it alone is rough except for a few naturally talented athletes. I have average athletic ability, was the first serious golfer in my extended family, and was self-taught until about age 21. I have spent the rest of my golf career trying to overcome the self-taught errors. Thing to do is find a golf pro that can give you some lessons. Along with the lessons, this person can check and see if you golf clubs fit you properly. In your situation, two things are important. Have a decent short game (bet you've heard that before) AND be able to get tee shots into the fairway - not 300 yard drives - but set yourself up to regularly hit approaches from the sunshine. Decide what you want out of golf, and find a pro who will help you get there. Also, consider time-phased goals. Maybe breaking 100 regularly this season, breaking 90 regularly next season. Then structure practice time to develop competences which will get you to your short-term goals. Once you find a pro you feel comfortable with, quit looking at the videos, playing tips, etc. You suffer from taking a bit of this from multiple competing swing systems, and being surprised that they don't fit together. Possibly your pro can recommend one golf book you could buy to help explain one system. Also, you might look at my guest ST column, Golf Secrets for Beginners: http://thesandtrap.com/trap_five/fiv..._for_beginners And, I hope things go well for your family in this time of crisis. If you want to talk about about golf or things in general, just PM me.

[Dad-2-3]

Not a veteran here or even a good golfer. I have never had a lesson either. I started this season as a 20 and am down to a 16 which is not by any means good, but an improvement. My goal is to be <11 by the end of next season.

I enjoy golf because it is so damn hard to do well. It is frustrating and joyful in the span of two shots. You never master it and that's what draws me to the course. Every one has bad rounds, so don't get to caught up in the bad shots, but revel in the good ones!

[ks8829]

You should be commented for taking the time to care for your grandma, not everyone has the personality and ability to help out like you are. you should have someone to talk to regarding what you are experiencing while caring for your dying grandma. maybe a close friend, family member, or someone you can talk to about your feelings might be helpful for you.

I have been playing for 24 years and only had 4 private lessons but I did have a friend, mentor, I call my golf dad and we played golf at least twice a week for the entire summer. He help me understand my golf swing and improve my game.

Videos, friends can also help you. I also have recently been playing match play with my friend and we have a great time together that is more enjoyable than playing just by yourself.




Remember golf is a walk in the park ruined, so have fun and something it better to not take it too seriously.

Learning the golf swing it the basics that count and the video above is a good introductions to the basic golf swing:

[wiley1st]

I myself am not looking forward to handling a dying relative so you have *all* our sympathy and support in this difficult situation. Even though we're all likely to find ourselves in a similar situation, actually having to deal with it is an entirely different experience altogether. Just hang in there and do what you have to do as that's all anyone can ask.

As for the golf crossroads, definitely take a lesson from a local pro. Ask around at you local course or driving range for recommendations. It will definitely give you something specific to work on and don't like that particular instructor, move on to another. No big deal.

Golf is a social game. Note *social* (with other people) and *game* (supposed to be fun). Join a league, find a golf buddy, or just intentionally play with other people and find out how to enjoy it and connect with the people you're with. We all suck some days and play out-of-our-minds once a month. One thing I did to make things more fun is to just play: no scorecard, no pressure, just one shot at a time. Right before every shot I'd look up and just take in the whole scene and then take a crack at it and let the chips fall where they may. This really put the whole thing in perspective for me.

Hope you can find the thrill again..

[hero12]

On days like that it is best to just forget about your swing, just keep it smooth and in tempo until you can hit the range. I have never had a lesson, I just play all the time. Golfing in the morning by myself is the best practice. It gives me time to put myself in positions I need to work on and maybe hit an extra ball or two from there.

My best advice, work on your game 80yds and in. Wedge game and putting is extremely important, getting up and down can turn a terrible hole into a success. Plus, if you hit two good shots on a par 5, an up and down can possibly get you back a stroke.

[melchior]

After losing my grandmother this last winter; I definitely know that it can be very hard dealing with something so hard for somebody so close to you.

I ended up getting a tattoo to remember her by; so whenever I hit a rough spot or something that reminds me of her I can just touch that and feel like she's with me. It's kinda become a life-stop for me; whenever things get too hectic I can just think of her and know that she wants me to be happy.

Back on topic: I hack around the course, but I always have fun. If/when I think of her I know she'd want me to have fun so I just relax and try to enjoy the day and relish the ability to be able to be out on the course with friends or enjoy some alone time all by myself with nobody around. Definitely don't get frustrated at a game; just try to do better the next shot. It's really no use focusing on the past, you just have to make the best with what you got (in life and on the course).

[scgolf]

One of my friend's wife has been literally enjoying her golfing on lots of Thursdays and many other occasions, she shoots over 100's. I have had many frustrated days of golfing on my part as well, try to treat it as exercises which should help your health when i had some bad rounds.

[TourSpoon]

You started by talking about family and taking care of your grandma...that is most important.

You then talk about a 12 minute mile...ouch...good analogy for this former runner. My advice is to find an instructor that can get you to feel the golf swing. Having worked at a golf course years ago, having many pros and former pros as friends (including my brother), being able to get lessons for free, I have found that the best instruction was paid for. I can also say that I best learn from those that got me to "feel" the correct movement. Seeing it on video is fine, and makes me want to vomit, but feeling it is something that stays with me.

Good luck and remember what's important in life. If you think that enjoying golf may be one of those things that you will be playing for the next 30 years, then a little time learning the swing may be a good idea.