Fights between similar famous people you'd like to see

[double_j]

I'm on vacation for a week after tomorrow (and my boss is out as of today) so I'm really bored and unmotivated at work. I apologize for this act of sheer randomness.

Name two 'substitutable' famous people that you'd like to see fight. Who would win?

My picks:

1.) Matt Damon vs. Leonardo DiCaprio - I'd give it to Damon solely for his kick buttness in the Bourne series but Leo made a pretty good showing of toughness in the Departed. He might be scrappier than we give him credit for.

2.) Morgan Freeman vs. Danny Glover - toss up, too close to call.

3.) Joe Pesci vs. Bruno Kirby - Pesci all the way but this would probably be hilarious to watch

4.) Bruno Kirby vs. Danny Devito - Kirby cleans up in his consolation match

5.) Robert DeNiro vs. Chazz Palminteri - not sure, Bobby D. might have lost a step since Raging Bull. Meet the Parents 2?

6.) Kevin Costner vs. Dennis Quaid - like watching someone fight a mirror

7.) Any Sheen (including Emilio) vs. any Douglas

8.) Jeff Daniels vs. Jeff Bridges

9.) Will Smith vs. Denzel Washington

10.) Topher Grace vs. Tobey Maguire - no Spidey costumes or alien life forms to get in the way, just an all out/bare hand death match.

[bwdial]

Keira Knightley v. Natalie Portman... preferably in lingerie on a king sized bed full of pillows. Winner takes on Sasha Grey.

[sean_miller]

Keira Knightley v. Natalie Portman... preferably in lingerie on a king sized bed full of pillows. Winner takes on Sasha Grey.

Jim Gray v. Cory Pavin - winner to take on the winner of Joel Gray v. Erin Gray

[Floger]

LOL, Mark Walberg on Matt Damon. After seeing Mark in 'Fear', he can put on one wacked out personality. I think he would whoop up on Damon.

Then I would like to see Westwwod and Tiger go at it. Westwood looks like he wants a piece of him although there would be two hits - Tiger hitting Lee and Lee hitting the ground. There's a photo on the net of Tiger fist pumping when he forced a playoff at US Open with Westwood (I think thats the tourney) and Lee is in the background next to his caddy and while watching Tiger celebrate with Stevie both have the expression of "what an ass".

[Shanks A Million]

Stephen Hawking vs. Brittney Spears.

Hawking recites his theory of singularity in a black hole; Spears' head explodes.

George W. Bush vs. Dan Quayle.

Ol Dan tries his best to explain why Hawaii is an island, and a state, and an island state, but George counters with a swift tomatoe to the head, but Quayle finally makes the pie higher and is able to put food on his family, but Bush's nations find hope; his wings take dream.

Michael Vick vs. Rin Tin Tin
Daryl Hall vs. John Oates
Lyndon LaRouche vs. Reality
Gordon Ramsay vs. McDonalds

[double_j]

Stephen Hawking vs. Brittney Spears.

You forgot Britney's unbreakable counter move in which she hires Timbaland to dub Stephen Hawking's computer voice and turns it into a new hit single.

Stephen Hawking is infected by Britney's tenacity and pop sensibility and becomes her #1 fan. Losing all interest in advanced physics (and anything else that can't be completed in 3 minutes) he spends the rest of his days facebooking and rehashing the historic Britney vs. Christina Aguilera debates from tweener boards circa 2000. He ultimately dies but provides one last insight before his departure...the singularity is Madonna. Britney Spears - winner.

[bwdial]

Jim Gray v. Cory Pavin - winner to take on the winner of Joel Gray v. Erin Gray

I had almost forgotten about the sultry lusciousness that was Colonel Wilma Deering.

She would referee the pillow-fight.

[Slammin' Sam]

I hate to rain on your parade doublej, but you are aware that Bruno Kirby is dead, right? I know that these are fantasy matchups and all, but since all your other proposed combatants are still alive I thought maybe you had some ground rule that they had to be living people.

But since you brought it up:

Cojo of "Entertainment Tonight" vs. Marco Lopez of "Extra"
Nancy Grace vs. Gloria Allred
Ryan Seacrest vs. Tom Bergeron

I don't really care who came out on top in any of the above matchups, since society as a whole would benefit without one or the other of any of the above.

[double_j]

I hate to rain on your parade doublej, but you are aware that Bruno Kirby is dead, right? I know that these are fantasy matchups and all, but since all your other proposed combatants are still alive I thought maybe you had some ground rule that they had to be living people.

I did not know that Bruno Kirby was dead. I guess Joe Pesci won after all.

[alomar123]

LeBron vs. Dwight

[Chilli Dipper]

David Keith (white tough-guy character actor) vs. Keith David (black tough-guy character actor). Keith David obviously wins, because anyone who can hold his own against Rowdy Roddy Piper beats anyone else.

[bwdial]

I did not know that Bruno Kirby was dead. I guess Joe Pesci won after all.

Pesci by forfeit.

In my matchup, the winner would be anyone lucky enough to watch.

[danieldrieberg]

ALICE COOPER vs ELTON JOHN

why???? why not!!!!!


winner takes on OZZIE----if you can get him to focus.


Mick Jagger is the ref and Keith Richards the fight announcer.

What do we do if Joan Jet wants part of the action??????

[Shanks A Million]

David Keith (white tough-guy character actor) vs. Keith David (black tough-guy character actor). Keith David obviously wins, because anyone who can hold his own against Rowdy Roddy Piper beats anyone else.

You left out the best part:

I loved that movie, watched it twice within a few days when I first saw it.

[sean_miller]

ALICE COOPER vs ELTON JOHN

Joan Jett v. Joan Rivers

Rosie O'Donnell v. Rosie Perez Chad Kroeger v. Freddy Kroeger Tom Cruise v. Tom Greene

[Jay-Bird]

Didn't Mtv do this already?

I'd love to see Lindsay Lohan battle Charlie Sheen. Winner gets a pile of blow.

Craig Kilbourn vs Craig Fergussen. Winner gets a pile of shit tv show.

Monica Lewinsky vs Marilyn Monroe. Winner gets a pile of presidential ---- to blow.

Oprah vs Dave.

Michael Moore vs Rush Limbaugh.

Cartman vs Stewie.