Tiger Woods to Open a Restaurant (The Woods Jupiter)

[mvmac]

@JetFan1983 , have you gone yet?

http://www.geoffshackelford.com/homepage/2015/8/26/reviewed-the-woods-jupiter.html

Josh Sens at golf.com does a nice job balancing restaurant review with scene setting anecdotes and caps it off with a sighting of The Man of the moment in Jupiter.

A snippet:

I squeeze my way up front, through a scrum of silver foxes and platinum blonds. The scene is moneyed Florida in microcosm, as if a nightclub mated with a country club. Many of the men look like Ted Bishop. Many of the women have that new-wife smell.

“Think he’ll be here tonight?” I ask the bartender, a comely twenty-something who, like all the staffers, wears sports attire adorned with swooshes. Hers: a Nike golf skirt and black Nike top. Natalie Gulbis would play her in the movie.

She cups an ear. I repeat the query.

“Who’s he?” she answers coyly, and hands me a margarita that’s only a shade smaller than the Claret Jug.

[Elmer]

Can't believe the jokes have not begun:

Menu Items...

Chicken n' Waffle House...

Elin's 9 Iron Smashed Potatoes ...

Oysters Uchitel...

Phil's Big Mouth Bass

How about:

Mindy's Bloody Mary!

[mmoan2]

Hank Haney - (dessert menu). A Popsicle, but before you can eat it the waiter takes it away from you

Brandel Chamblee - steak that is not cooked anywhere near how you ordered it

Dan Jenkins - Tiger takes a dump on your plate.

awesome

[JetFan1983]

The Amanda Dufner -- You get up to use the restroom and then get secretly served whatever your friend ordered in the coat room.

@JetFan1983, have you gone yet?

http://www.geoffshackelford.com/homepage/2015/8/26/reviewed-the-woods-jupiter.html

Quote:

Josh Sens at golf.com does a nice job balancing restaurant review with scene setting anecdotes and caps it off with a sighting of The Man of the moment in Jupiter.

A snippet:

I squeeze my way up front, through a scrum of silver foxes and platinum blonds. The scene is moneyed Florida in microcosm, as if a nightclub mated with a country club. Many of the men look like Ted Bishop. Many of the women have that new-wife smell.

“Think he’ll be here tonight?” I ask the bartender, a comely twenty-something who, like all the staffers, wears sports attire adorned with swooshes. Hers: a Nike golf skirt and black Nike top. Natalie Gulbis would play her in the movie.

She cups an ear. I repeat the query.

“Who’s he?” she answers coyly, and hands me a margarita that’s only a shade smaller than the Claret Jug.

Haha, not yet. I'll go tonight or tomorrow night. Definitely been wanting to check it out for a couple weeks now.

[imsys0042]

For $100 you can order a "Butch Harmon". But then it gets weird. You eat some of it, send it back. Then everyone at your table says you should go get it because you'll never have a better steak. But you can't get it, and have to settle for a meatloaf from a sous chef.

[Strandly]

The Jim Furyk tweet was hilarious imo.

[mvmac]

Thanks for the review @JetFan1983

[Elmer]

For $100 you can order a "Butch Harmon". But then it gets weird. You eat some of it, send it back. Then everyone at your table says you should go get it because you'll never have a better steak. But you can't get it, and have to settle for a meatloaf from a sous chef.

To build on yours....

I would say the "butch harmon" is a nice T Bone steak. you send it back.

you then ask for 4 more meals one after another.

After you send them all back one after another you realize you are still hungry and the T Bone has been eaten by someone else and is no longer available.

You end up with an uncooked cube of SPAM!

You spend the rest of your dinning experience muttering "should have stuck with the harmon"!